At first it didn't seem worthwhile to write a Gopher football preview. After all, as your mother probably told you more than once, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. There's really not much to say on the topic that hasn't been said a hundred times before, the jokes are too easy and the prospect of something unexpected happening so unlikely, that the whole thing barely touches 'Meh' status for most people. For a read on my level of inspiration, look no further than the fact I couldn't even pull together a few thoughts together in time for the first game. And in case you doubted it, let me assure you that the whole of Gopher Nation was clamoring for my take here, indifference just got the better of me.
But when you think about it, no team better exemplifies the "can't do" spirit of Loserville better than Gopher football. If you're looking for the perfect blend of haplessness and hopelessness, look no further. I don't want to offend the two Gopher football diehards I know with this, because it takes guts to keep putting yourself out there for a team like this and I respect them for that, but I just can't wrap my head around the passion they have for this football team. As has been debated before, maybe that makes me a bad fan, but we all have our limits on the amount of dissapointment we can take, and my personal quota has been filled for years.
Outside of a few rare moments, it's just not much fun being a Gopher football fan. Hasn't been for years. The high-water mark of the program in my lifetime occurred on October 10th, 2003, a date that will live in infamy. The Gophers were 6-0, ranked #20 in the country and leading Michigan 28-7 entering the 4th quarter, only to give up 31 points and lose by a field goal. I remember it vividly, standing in the Xcel Energy Center following a Wild game with my buddy Nick, who as a non-native Minnesotan did not carry the ingrained affection for the Gophers that I did. We were standing in a crowd of probably 100 people around one of the arena's bars, all necks craned up at the TVs watching the debacle.
At one point during Michigan's 4th quarter onslaught, Braylon Edwards made a great catch on a long TD to pull the Wolverines within 7, Nick let out a "Yes" and mini-fist pump. It wasn't really out of celebration as much as appreciation of a great play, but 100 heads snapped around and I began to fear one more of those could get us torn limb from limb. I told him to cool it.
Of course the rest is history, the Gophers lost and the program has never recovered, in fact these days it is probably as bad as it's ever been. Say what you will about Glen Mason, he dropped easy games, never won at home, exhibited a surly attitude, etc. But at least his teams could jump up and beat a top team on occasion, something the Tim Brewster Era has not had to offer. At this point it's not even about expecting a good season, just a game or two in which they beat somebody they shouldn't, that would be enough. (Watch for a harsh rebuke in the comments from one Mr. Derek Robertson following this paragraph)
So let's try to wring some positivity out of the run up to the 2010 season, the 49th in the program's quest to return to a Rose Bowl. Hmmm...well...we could go 2-0 with an easy non-conference start to things! Oh sure the Gophers were underdogs to Middle Tennessee State at one point, but with their starting QB and best player out, confidence is high! (EDIT: 24-17 victory last night provides warm fuzzy for those who are in the business of selling hope) After that it's a South Dakota squad we should throttle, then it's onto...oh...USC. Crap.
Earlier this week, I heard someone on the radio say that Tim Brewster need to get at least 8 wins this season to stay employed as head coach. It was all I coule do to keep from spraying coffee all over said radio. An 8-4 record with a nasty schedule for a team that went 6-7 last year and lost it's best (only?) offensive weapon? Hey, while we're at it, let's just say the Twins need to sweep the Yankees in order to prove Ron Gardenhire is a good manager, just winning the series won't do.
I mean let's take a look at this thing:
Middle Tennesse State - Better be a win (EDIT: Was, so far so good) 1-0
South Dakota - Lose this game and the coach should resign the same day. Not kidding, just step to the podium after the game and say "That's it for me folks, good luck" 2-0
USC - Well they had some transfers, right? New coach and all that? No bowl game maybe make them lacking fire? Yeah, I can't convince myself either, too much of a talent advantage. that's a loss. 2-1
Northern Illinois - Don't know a thing about them, so I'll say the Gophers will crush them, book it, 3-1
Northwestern - Ahh yes, that pesky conference portion of the schedule, things are always going so well when this thing comes along. Northwestern is full of smart kids though, and as well all know, too many smart kids is a recipe for disaster on the football field, Gophers in a squeaker, 4-1
So if they start 4-1, why is 8 wins so nuts? Watch this
Wisconsin - Bad news: Brew is 0-3 against them. Good news: All the games have been close. More bad news: They're ranked 12th in the preseason AP and look like they've got a better team than the last few years. In case you were wondering, this is exactly the type of win that would take a ton of heat off, alas, 4-2
Purdue - Brewster OWNS the Boilermakers. Might as well change it to the Brewstermakers, 5-2
Penn St - I'd like to maybe entertain the notion of winning, but no, 5-3
Ohio St - Next, 5-4
Michigan St - Beat them last year and usually play them tough, we'll give the guys the nod, 6-4
Illinois - Ditto, 7-4 (That's right, I just gave back-to-back Big Ten road wins to a guy who has 3 total in 3 years. And people say I can't be optimistic. Wait a minute, opTIMistic, if that doesn't describe the current coach to a tee, I don't know what does.)
Iowa - I wonder if the bathroom stalls at The Bank can accomodate sex as well as the ones in the Dome did? Probably the most interesting point to ponder about this game, 7-5
So there it is, 7-5 is hugely optimistic and what I would certainly call a successful season, as would any Gopher fan I've talked to. The fact a man who covers sports for a living in this town called for "at least" 8 wins is preposterous, and deserving of scorn. You have to crawl before you walk, and right now we're just pulling ourselves into the sitting position. Here's hoping we get a bit of crawling this year.
Yes! A Gopher Football post!!! Nice work brother. And thank you.
ReplyDeleteMy name got mentioned in this blog, and I feel honored, so I gotta write SOMETHING. Remember, I am glass-at-50% guy, I tell it like it is.
Note to reader: Hardly any sarcasm or frustration below, just very pragmatic and conversational in nature and tone.
First, I prefer to call this "take 43". Last conference title was in 1967, and because of the silly "longest drought since last appearance" tiebreaker rule in the Big Ten, we didn't get to go to the Rose Bowl that year, Indiana did.
Second, I was, and still am, a Glen Mason apologist, but you forgot to mention the reason he was fired: continuing to lose games where you have virtually insurmountable leads. Blowing the 38-7 lead against Texas Tech with 20 minutes to go is just inexcusable, as are about six other games in his nine years where I thought to myself, "It would take a miracle to lose this" and he found a way to make it happen. You mentioned the most famous, but there were actually two or three that were WORSE than that. (See: giving up lead to Purdue when the Boilermakers had the ball on their own 4, no timeouts, and 18 seconds on the clock. Can't make it up.)
His teams did have the ability to jump up and beat anybody, he beat every team in the conference at least once in his tenure here, including Michigan, OSU, and PSU on the road. But, in his final season, the Gophers finished 119th in the nation in total defense. Guess how many teams were in Division 1-A that year. (Hint: it was 119). I was upset when he was fired, but it was probably time for a change. And, full disclosure, I wanted Charlie Strong, who was apparently in the final three.
Brewster is a used-car-salesman-type, I get it. He doesn't know how to put together a gameplan to beat a Big Ten top-6 team, I get it. I like the guy a lot, perhaps to a fault after he took the time to chat with me at length at Famous Dave's in Minnetonka two years ago, and at Hazelwood in Tonka Bay last winter, with nothing from me besides a “Hey coach, looking forward to the season” greeting.
On the other side, he is winning recruiting battles against other big-time teams. He is passionate about his job and doesn’t want another one somewhere else. He is visible year-round, pounding the recruiting trail and talking about the program. These are all good things that we haven’t had in the past. Perhaps we can get an offensive and defensive coordinator that know the X's and O's well enough to trump Brew’s inability to know them, and he can focus on being a frontman for recruiting and PR…then we might have something capable of a winning Big Ten record.
I like your opTIMism here, but I am going with 5-7 in 2010, 6-6 upside with another Insight Bowl berth, 3-9 downside where he will somehow keep his job one more year. Maturi has a long rope.
Again, thanks brother for the post, I loved it. And, nice to start the season with a win, and on the road no less! Note: we did that last year at Syracuse, and started out 3-1…and then things went south.
It's Viking opener day. I expect an update.
ReplyDeleteLeast excited I have been for a Viking opener since I was 7. It just seems the football gods are out for revenge after they used up all the good luck for 4 years last year. (odd they used all their good luck and still ripped our hearts out).
IF his team starts out losing a few games in a row, they will turn quickly on the bald one and things will snowball from there.