Of the major professional and college sports leagues on this planet, I have to say the NBA is my least favorite. This isn't to say I don't appreciate a well played game of basketball, just that I'm a hockey guy first, and in both sports the college game is far more entertaining that it's professional counterpart.
The NHL and NBA regular seasons are too long and drawn out to be entertaining night in and night out. Not surprisingly, regular season interest usually follows the team that's playing better. With the Wolves a joke and the Wild merely incompetent, the pendulum swung hockey's way for most of the season, but that didn't change the fact that things get boring over an 82-game schedule.
You get some great games, but you also get quite a few flat performances delivered by teams on the second night of back-to-backs. Some nights of sharp execution, and others where the guys left their game on the bus The playoffs are what happens when good teams give max effort every game, and both sets have been exceptional. My hockey bias causes me to lean in the NHL's direction, but in looking at the potential Finals matchups for both sports, I have to admit, hoops is creeping up.
Tonight there will be a Game 7 in the NHL, for the 6th time out of this year's 14 playoff series. If Boston advances to meet Vancouver in the Stanley Cup Finals, it will be one of the more intriguing matchups in recent history. A Bruins franchise vying for it's first Cup in 40 years facing off against the Canucks, who've never won one, and carry the added pressure of bringing it back to Canada for the first time since 1993. There will be storylines aplenty if that happens (f**k off Tampa Bay, nobody wants you here), but as a matchup, it will still pale in comparison to the NBA's final round matchup.
In one corner you have the Mavs, and Dirk Nowitzki, who will likely spend his entire career in a Dallas uniform, for better or for worse. In the other, the Heat, and their newly hired mercenary duo of LeBron James and Chris Bosh. You may like LeBron, I do not. You can explain his actions over the past year as being driven by the desire to win, I will point out that the man could've pursued his current course of action without acting like a douchebag. Frankly I will always consider what he did to the fans of Cleveland as an affront to sports fans everywhere, and will be backing the Mavericks strongly as a result.
Throw in the bad blood simmering from the 2006 Finals, and this matchup could turn into a bona fide rivalry before it's all said and done. Despite my intense dislike for Miami, I'm happy that they're here, if only because it adds a layer of importance to the series that would otherwise be lacking. I may not be the biggest NBA fan, but I am a fan of justice, and karma, and both should have King James directly in their crosshairs.
Go Mavericks.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Et tu, Twins? Et tu?
A week ago the Wolves were poised to win the lottery, the Twins were floundering in the AL Central cellar and the end of all things mere days away. Unfortunately the world did not end, so now we have to deal with the #2 pick in the NBA draft and the continued struggles of the worst team in baseball. For six weeks, Twins fans everywhere have been telling themselves not to panic. That this season's struggles in the earlygoing were simply history repeating itself. Today, there's still no panic, but that's only because the 2011 Twins season is officially over.
As a collective sporting public, Minnesota fans were, as usual, hanging their hat on the baseball club to be their saving grace. Not a damn thing had gone right in 6 months of flawed football, brutal basketball and half-*ssed hockey. Even the weather sucked. It was time for the only team in town that consistent met expectations to salvage something from this turn of the calendar. Unfortunately, the play of the team so far has not only been bad, it has been sickeningly brutal, to the tune of the worst record in the league and incompetence in every single phase of the game. When the pitching has been good, the bats have vanished. On the rare occasion the runs do appear, the starter gets shelled or bullpen implodes. Usually both. The idea of a Twins team this brutal is not completely unfathomable, after all, there is the 1990s for comparison. But the idea that a team could spend over $100 million dollars and have this little to show for it? Well that's just disgusting.
We thought that injuries were the problem, and once the lineup was intact, the ship would right itself. Unfortunately, the guys that have been playing are as bad or worse than the call-ups who are filling in, offering no hope of a turnaround even when (if?) the projected starting nine suits up. There's an undertone of soft and distinterested running through the whole roster at the moment. If being a professional baseball player was easy, everyone would do it. But that doesn't excuse the fact that some of the players are making the same mistakes over and over, with body language that can only be interpreted as careless indifference. Delmon Young has regressed to waving at any pitch thrown his way ala 2009, at least during the few moments he hasn't found himself on the DL with some minor ailment. Every time Alexi Casilla plays shortstop, it looks like the first time he's seen a baseball glove. On the rare occasions he does field a ball cleanly, there's a 1 in 3 chance it ends up in the 4th row behind first base. But hey, at least he bothers to get it out of his glove before the runner crosses the bag, unlike some other infielders we could mention.
The hitting is atrocious, Michael Cuddyer should dig the ski mask he wore to the ballpark during 2007-08 out of storage, because he is once again stealing from this team. Justin Morneau may eventully regain his timing, but at the moment he'd be better served walking to the plate holding a loaf of French bread. It certainly wouldn't cost him any hits, and you never know, the pitcher might be hungry, get distracted and walk him. The rest of the lineup is mostly retread prospects on their third or fourth spin through the minors. A bunch of once-promising never-will-bes with more holes in their game than Osama after his run-in with the SEALs. If we could just combine these guys in a lab somehow, say mixing a bit of Tolbert's fielding with Plouffe's bat, then we might have something. As it is, we have a collection of stiffs, and that might be the most depressing part. Bad seasons happen, but knowing you have exactly zero competent MLB players in the high minors? Well that's the sort of thing that dooms an organization.
And the pitching, good lord the pitching, where to even start with this nightmare. I'm not ready to say Joe Nathan is done as an MLB reliver, but he's definitely done getting paid double-digit millions to do so. Most Matt Capps outings these days make it seem as if he's determined to go down in Twins lore as "the guy we traded Wilson Ramos for". Just like the hitters, the balance of the pen is a bunch of guys who would seemingly be lucky to stick on a AAA club, it's gasoline on a fire every time they get the ball. The starters are decent some days, atrocious others. The oddest thing about this staff is the fact it's best pitchers (Baker, Blackburn, Perkins) were guys who totally flopped last season. Factoring in bounce back seasons from Span and Kubel, perhaps there's something to be said for a player re-focusing after a bad year. If that's the case, then this team should win the World Series next season, because just about every one of them is due for a career year.
It's tough to stomach just how bad the Minnesota Twins are right now, mostly because it all turned so quickly. Some bad luck has been involved, but there also seem to be no leaders on this team, and no fire to shock them out of their current funk. I'm sure a lot of guys are upset about their struggles, but a clubhouse full of monotone voices offering cliches and shrugs just doesn't convey much urgency. Nobody saw things disintegrating to this degree, but there were a few who were uneasy with the lack of offseason moves and spring training struggles. "It's only spring training", "the players just need to get their timing down" are the lines we hear, but it's clear now that more fundamental issues exist in the way this team approaches it's business. I get the impression that things might've been a bit too laid back, that after a few division titles, the players might've taken a playoff spot as a given, and let their focus slip. That's easier to swallow than a roster full of established players with productive histories all losing it at the same time.
So now I'm f***ing bitter, not at anyone in particular, just the whole situation. People may hammer the GM for not making moves, the manager for being too low-key, but that seems to miss the point. It was easy to rip a struggling Twins team when they were spending $60 million and grabbing cheap retreads off the discount rack, not so much when they have a payroll that puts them among the Top 10 in baseball. It must be mentioned that part of this is due to unfortunate timing. Nathan and Cuddyer having a year left on their overpriced contracts the same year Mauer's kicked in is a tough spot to be in. While they probably should've used the $7 million spent on Matt Capps to shore up the bullpen or middle infield, it was a defensible move. After all, when you hand over a highly-touted prospect for two months of a mediocre relief pitcher, you have to save face somehow.
Other than that, it's tough to kill the organization for what's happening here. The players that were being depended on to produce simply aren't. It's fair to wonder how so many draft picks have apparently amounted to nothing of value in the minor leagues, but that's the least of their problems. In a town this lousy, even the worst record in baseball can offer a silver lining, and that's the fact that this situation should be temporary. If this were the Wild, Cuddyer would be locked in at $15 million for the better part of a decade and they'd still raise ticket prices this offseason. To go back to the familiar mantra, things could always be worse.
That might not seem possible right now, and I'd agree it's tough to fathom a deeper hole, but sinking lower still is always in play. The Vikings finished last, the Wolves remain a rudderless joke of a franchise, the Wild are locked into at least two more years of mediocrity due to crippling contracts, every team at the U of M is lousy and now even the reliable Twins are hoplessly inept...okay, where was I going with this? Oh yeah, things could still get worse.
Joe Mauer rumors are swirling, everything from Lyme's disease to multiple sclerosis, how about throwing a bona fide tragedy on top of the overblown one?
The NFL could start cancelling games here pretty soon, that would certainly add to my depression as a sports fan.
The Wolves could use the #2 pick in the draft on some foreigner who'll go years without playing for them (actually that's probably too crazy, we know they wouldn't do anything that stupid).
The Wild could extend Martin Havlat and Nicklas Backstrom for another 5 years.
That's what we've been reduced to here in Loserville, things are so bad on every front, we now have to invent potential bad things that haven't happened, just to make what is going on more palatable. All hope for our ballclub is dead, and it's not even Memorial Day yet. My third set of Twins tickets is on deck for this Saturday, a game I've been looking forward to for weeks. I expect it to rain, and I expect them to lose, as both seem to happen every single day. I will enjoy myself, because I will be with friends, and if there's one thing we know how to do, it's shrug off disappointment. I can't muster anger anymore, and disappointment has also fallen by the wayside. I've simply resigned myself to this unfortunate situation, as it will likely last forever.
So that's it, close to book on the 2011 Twins, it's over. But hey, at least it's only a couple months until football seas....oh yeah...f**k.
As a collective sporting public, Minnesota fans were, as usual, hanging their hat on the baseball club to be their saving grace. Not a damn thing had gone right in 6 months of flawed football, brutal basketball and half-*ssed hockey. Even the weather sucked. It was time for the only team in town that consistent met expectations to salvage something from this turn of the calendar. Unfortunately, the play of the team so far has not only been bad, it has been sickeningly brutal, to the tune of the worst record in the league and incompetence in every single phase of the game. When the pitching has been good, the bats have vanished. On the rare occasion the runs do appear, the starter gets shelled or bullpen implodes. Usually both. The idea of a Twins team this brutal is not completely unfathomable, after all, there is the 1990s for comparison. But the idea that a team could spend over $100 million dollars and have this little to show for it? Well that's just disgusting.
We thought that injuries were the problem, and once the lineup was intact, the ship would right itself. Unfortunately, the guys that have been playing are as bad or worse than the call-ups who are filling in, offering no hope of a turnaround even when (if?) the projected starting nine suits up. There's an undertone of soft and distinterested running through the whole roster at the moment. If being a professional baseball player was easy, everyone would do it. But that doesn't excuse the fact that some of the players are making the same mistakes over and over, with body language that can only be interpreted as careless indifference. Delmon Young has regressed to waving at any pitch thrown his way ala 2009, at least during the few moments he hasn't found himself on the DL with some minor ailment. Every time Alexi Casilla plays shortstop, it looks like the first time he's seen a baseball glove. On the rare occasions he does field a ball cleanly, there's a 1 in 3 chance it ends up in the 4th row behind first base. But hey, at least he bothers to get it out of his glove before the runner crosses the bag, unlike some other infielders we could mention.
The hitting is atrocious, Michael Cuddyer should dig the ski mask he wore to the ballpark during 2007-08 out of storage, because he is once again stealing from this team. Justin Morneau may eventully regain his timing, but at the moment he'd be better served walking to the plate holding a loaf of French bread. It certainly wouldn't cost him any hits, and you never know, the pitcher might be hungry, get distracted and walk him. The rest of the lineup is mostly retread prospects on their third or fourth spin through the minors. A bunch of once-promising never-will-bes with more holes in their game than Osama after his run-in with the SEALs. If we could just combine these guys in a lab somehow, say mixing a bit of Tolbert's fielding with Plouffe's bat, then we might have something. As it is, we have a collection of stiffs, and that might be the most depressing part. Bad seasons happen, but knowing you have exactly zero competent MLB players in the high minors? Well that's the sort of thing that dooms an organization.
And the pitching, good lord the pitching, where to even start with this nightmare. I'm not ready to say Joe Nathan is done as an MLB reliver, but he's definitely done getting paid double-digit millions to do so. Most Matt Capps outings these days make it seem as if he's determined to go down in Twins lore as "the guy we traded Wilson Ramos for". Just like the hitters, the balance of the pen is a bunch of guys who would seemingly be lucky to stick on a AAA club, it's gasoline on a fire every time they get the ball. The starters are decent some days, atrocious others. The oddest thing about this staff is the fact it's best pitchers (Baker, Blackburn, Perkins) were guys who totally flopped last season. Factoring in bounce back seasons from Span and Kubel, perhaps there's something to be said for a player re-focusing after a bad year. If that's the case, then this team should win the World Series next season, because just about every one of them is due for a career year.
It's tough to stomach just how bad the Minnesota Twins are right now, mostly because it all turned so quickly. Some bad luck has been involved, but there also seem to be no leaders on this team, and no fire to shock them out of their current funk. I'm sure a lot of guys are upset about their struggles, but a clubhouse full of monotone voices offering cliches and shrugs just doesn't convey much urgency. Nobody saw things disintegrating to this degree, but there were a few who were uneasy with the lack of offseason moves and spring training struggles. "It's only spring training", "the players just need to get their timing down" are the lines we hear, but it's clear now that more fundamental issues exist in the way this team approaches it's business. I get the impression that things might've been a bit too laid back, that after a few division titles, the players might've taken a playoff spot as a given, and let their focus slip. That's easier to swallow than a roster full of established players with productive histories all losing it at the same time.
So now I'm f***ing bitter, not at anyone in particular, just the whole situation. People may hammer the GM for not making moves, the manager for being too low-key, but that seems to miss the point. It was easy to rip a struggling Twins team when they were spending $60 million and grabbing cheap retreads off the discount rack, not so much when they have a payroll that puts them among the Top 10 in baseball. It must be mentioned that part of this is due to unfortunate timing. Nathan and Cuddyer having a year left on their overpriced contracts the same year Mauer's kicked in is a tough spot to be in. While they probably should've used the $7 million spent on Matt Capps to shore up the bullpen or middle infield, it was a defensible move. After all, when you hand over a highly-touted prospect for two months of a mediocre relief pitcher, you have to save face somehow.
Other than that, it's tough to kill the organization for what's happening here. The players that were being depended on to produce simply aren't. It's fair to wonder how so many draft picks have apparently amounted to nothing of value in the minor leagues, but that's the least of their problems. In a town this lousy, even the worst record in baseball can offer a silver lining, and that's the fact that this situation should be temporary. If this were the Wild, Cuddyer would be locked in at $15 million for the better part of a decade and they'd still raise ticket prices this offseason. To go back to the familiar mantra, things could always be worse.
That might not seem possible right now, and I'd agree it's tough to fathom a deeper hole, but sinking lower still is always in play. The Vikings finished last, the Wolves remain a rudderless joke of a franchise, the Wild are locked into at least two more years of mediocrity due to crippling contracts, every team at the U of M is lousy and now even the reliable Twins are hoplessly inept...okay, where was I going with this? Oh yeah, things could still get worse.
Joe Mauer rumors are swirling, everything from Lyme's disease to multiple sclerosis, how about throwing a bona fide tragedy on top of the overblown one?
The NFL could start cancelling games here pretty soon, that would certainly add to my depression as a sports fan.
The Wolves could use the #2 pick in the draft on some foreigner who'll go years without playing for them (actually that's probably too crazy, we know they wouldn't do anything that stupid).
The Wild could extend Martin Havlat and Nicklas Backstrom for another 5 years.
That's what we've been reduced to here in Loserville, things are so bad on every front, we now have to invent potential bad things that haven't happened, just to make what is going on more palatable. All hope for our ballclub is dead, and it's not even Memorial Day yet. My third set of Twins tickets is on deck for this Saturday, a game I've been looking forward to for weeks. I expect it to rain, and I expect them to lose, as both seem to happen every single day. I will enjoy myself, because I will be with friends, and if there's one thing we know how to do, it's shrug off disappointment. I can't muster anger anymore, and disappointment has also fallen by the wayside. I've simply resigned myself to this unfortunate situation, as it will likely last forever.
So that's it, close to book on the 2011 Twins, it's over. But hey, at least it's only a couple months until football seas....oh yeah...f**k.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Foul Balls
No, this is not a baseball post. I am currently in denial as to the state of the local baseball team, and will be attempting to distract myself as long as possible from their struggles.
The post title is instead an homage to the Minnesota Timberwolves history in the NBA draft lottery. I could've also gone with "Groundhog Day" or "Following The Bouncing Ball (Off A Cliff)". Last year's post was titled "Honestly, does anyone think this is going to go well?" Not surprisingly, it did not, and the Wolves are back in familiar territory as the worst team in the NBA as a result.
I could probably just re-post last year's version, as the broad strokes haven't changed much. The list of near-misses got a bit more stinging, with Derrick Rose moving into MVP territory and John Wall appearing to be the newest in a long line of superstars stolen by the ping-pong balls. The Wolves organization got a little lousier, with the on-court play treading water and the front office appearing shakier by the day. The biggest difference is the talent pool in this year's draft, which appears to be a lot thinner than at any time in recent memory. Although projections are only that, it's a bit tougher to get excited about winning the first pick when there isn't much of a consensus about who that guy is.
You'd be a fool to sneeze at the opportunity to pick first, that's obvious. But at the same time, there's typically a guy, like Wall last year, who makes fans salivate at the prospect of adding him to the roster. This year, the name most often mentioned is Kyrie Irving from Duke. The redundancy in that choice, picking a point guard Top 10 for the third time in three years, should make you chuckle. There are indications that Ricky Rubio may finally ride in on his white horse to save the franchise, would drafting another PG upset that apple cart? I'm not saying the team should care if it does, more of an observation on odd situations they always seem to find themselves in.
Beyond Irving, there's Derrick Williams, who is coming off a great NCAA tournament and would be a fun addition. Only problem is that a 6' 8" small forward is also pretty redundant on a team that has Michael Beasley and last year's 1st-rounder Wes Johnson pretty much in the same spot. Rest assured, I don't see Williams having a problem supplanting Johnson and/or Beasley, he just wouldn't do much in filling one of the many gaps on the squad. Otherwise, I'm seeing a crop of undersized centers and foreigners rounding out the Top 10. I'd find this whole thing much easier to get excited about if there was a scoring 2-guard who could play a bit of perimeter defense, but that guy does not appear to exist this season, at least not at the top of the round.
Being so ambivalent about this year's crop of draftees leads me to one conclusion: For the first time in their history, the Minnesota Timberwolves will win the NBA draft lottery.
What happens from there is anyone's guess. Maybe they package a couple of forwards for guard help and draft Williams. Perhaps they deal Rubio's rights and pick Irving to be the point guard of the future. Maybe they pull off some big time deal, sending the pick to a capped-out franchise in exchange for a superstar. There will certainly be many options opened up by winning this thing, which is never a bad thing. But after missing out on so many franchise-changing talents over the years, winning it this season would have a bittersweet tinge.
But hey, whatever keeps my mind of the Twins for a day.
The post title is instead an homage to the Minnesota Timberwolves history in the NBA draft lottery. I could've also gone with "Groundhog Day" or "Following The Bouncing Ball (Off A Cliff)". Last year's post was titled "Honestly, does anyone think this is going to go well?" Not surprisingly, it did not, and the Wolves are back in familiar territory as the worst team in the NBA as a result.
I could probably just re-post last year's version, as the broad strokes haven't changed much. The list of near-misses got a bit more stinging, with Derrick Rose moving into MVP territory and John Wall appearing to be the newest in a long line of superstars stolen by the ping-pong balls. The Wolves organization got a little lousier, with the on-court play treading water and the front office appearing shakier by the day. The biggest difference is the talent pool in this year's draft, which appears to be a lot thinner than at any time in recent memory. Although projections are only that, it's a bit tougher to get excited about winning the first pick when there isn't much of a consensus about who that guy is.
You'd be a fool to sneeze at the opportunity to pick first, that's obvious. But at the same time, there's typically a guy, like Wall last year, who makes fans salivate at the prospect of adding him to the roster. This year, the name most often mentioned is Kyrie Irving from Duke. The redundancy in that choice, picking a point guard Top 10 for the third time in three years, should make you chuckle. There are indications that Ricky Rubio may finally ride in on his white horse to save the franchise, would drafting another PG upset that apple cart? I'm not saying the team should care if it does, more of an observation on odd situations they always seem to find themselves in.
Beyond Irving, there's Derrick Williams, who is coming off a great NCAA tournament and would be a fun addition. Only problem is that a 6' 8" small forward is also pretty redundant on a team that has Michael Beasley and last year's 1st-rounder Wes Johnson pretty much in the same spot. Rest assured, I don't see Williams having a problem supplanting Johnson and/or Beasley, he just wouldn't do much in filling one of the many gaps on the squad. Otherwise, I'm seeing a crop of undersized centers and foreigners rounding out the Top 10. I'd find this whole thing much easier to get excited about if there was a scoring 2-guard who could play a bit of perimeter defense, but that guy does not appear to exist this season, at least not at the top of the round.
Being so ambivalent about this year's crop of draftees leads me to one conclusion: For the first time in their history, the Minnesota Timberwolves will win the NBA draft lottery.
What happens from there is anyone's guess. Maybe they package a couple of forwards for guard help and draft Williams. Perhaps they deal Rubio's rights and pick Irving to be the point guard of the future. Maybe they pull off some big time deal, sending the pick to a capped-out franchise in exchange for a superstar. There will certainly be many options opened up by winning this thing, which is never a bad thing. But after missing out on so many franchise-changing talents over the years, winning it this season would have a bittersweet tinge.
But hey, whatever keeps my mind of the Twins for a day.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Stadium Arcadium
There are a few tiresome things that have been dragging on far too long on the regional sports scene. The Fighting Sioux nickname controversy, the general ineptitude of the Timberwolves, and topping the list, the Vikings pursuit of a stadium.
To clarify an important point, I'm not against public money for stadiums, and I consider myself a huge Vikings fan. I'm willing to bet that I've attended more games and put more time/money into this team than 90% of fans out there. I do not want them to leave Minnesota, but it's hard to have much sympathy for their situation when they keep shooting themselves in the foot.
Let's take a trip down memory lane to the Anoka County stadium days, when the team had an agreement on a $675 million facility, with $250 coming from the team. With the inevitable overruns, the true cost would likely have been in the $750-800 million range, with the Vikings share falling around $300. Of course that was scuttled when Zygi started flirting with Minneapolis about a competing plan. The county lawmakers up north decided they did not appreciate being treated as pawns, and here we are 5 years later, in the same spot. A similar joint venture with the Gophers on a shared stadium was also slapped down along the way. So as you listen to the threats, coercion and woe-is-us messages coming from the Vikings camp, it's important to remember that this could've been solved long ago.
The problem of course, is greed. The end goal of the team has always been to have it's cake and eat it too; maximize profits, team value and share nothing with anyone. Anything less than the ideal solution that will allow for that is immediately dismissed as "unworkable". Now the saga continues against the backdrop of a state budget that's underwater by $5 billion and the NFL locked in a showdown of greed that could potentially cancel it's next season. If it wasn't for bad timing, this franchise would have none at all.
But again, they've made the choice that have brought them to this point.
So now we have two stadium proposals to ponder, a far-flung palace in Arden Hills vs. a new building on the current Metrodome site in dowtown Minneapolis. Assuming we look past the fact that the Vikings don't seem to be a trustworthy partner in this type of negotiation, and that if not for their greed, this whole situation could've been avoided, what does the public gain by footing the bill for this thing? Full disclosure, I was a big proponent of the Twins stadium after watching years of baseball in the Metrodump. Baseball needs to be played outdoors, and is also the last major sport that can be attended somewhat affordably by average people. I buy the argument that sports facities don't really spur new economic activity. That dollars simply flow from other forms of entertainment to offset trips to the game. Whether you buy into that notion fully is your decision, but it tends to strike me as logical. Lacking teams, money spent on sports would likely still be spent regardless, at least that's what happens in my life.
But what else other than sports is bringing tens of thousands of people to downtown Minneapolis 100+ nights a year? What connects more suburbanites to downtown that the excursions to watch these teams play? City dwellers may say the hell with those people, let them stay home and quit cluttering up my downtown. Unfortunately that's your tax base folks, and love em or hate em, the place you live is going to come out better the next time a budget is approved if more people have a vested interest in keeping it vibrant. Target Field has been a perfect example of a sports attraction's power in this area. New businesses are opening, old ones are making additions, and all of dowtown Minneapolis has felt the lift from the 3 million wallets going through it's turnstiles. Whether the honeymoon continues, as it has with the Xcel in St. Paul, remains to be seen. But for the moment at least, there are many more people with a personal connection to the city.
The same return on investment, in the form of more people having a vested interest in your city, won't be seen by a municipality hosting a football stadium. Sure the ten Vikings games played each year will be augmented by concerts and other events, but can we expect it to yield the same sort of day-to-day lift that other sports venues offer? Some business will get a charge, especially on game days, but it's unlikely that crowds will be consistent enough to generate similar impact to the last two publicly-backed projects we've seen.
As I've said, public financing for stadiums is not an issue for me. I like sports and pay for a million government services I don't use, why not get something I enjoy out of it? But I also do not appreciate being treated like a fool, which has too often been the feeling Vikings stadium discussions have given. Maybe this time they get everything they want, and this thing finally gets put to bed. But is the best thing for the team also the best thing for the fans?
Let's break it down, tale 'o the tape style:
Location
Arden Hills
Pros: Tailgating, better gameday experience, not having to hassle with downtown
Cons: Being screwed if you don't plan on tailgating, having to spend a boatload of money on new infrastructure, chances of a serious cluster**** developing while trying to exit
Minneapolis
Pros: Central location, easy access through existing infrastructure, access to about 1,000 restaurants, public transit, revitalized downtown businesses
Listen, I like tailgating as much as the next guy, but I don't want to be locked into it every time I feel like going to a game. Build the stadium in what's essentially an open field, and that's what you'll get. Make an island and you risk getting stranded. People will try to tell you that development of bars and restaurants will occur in the surrounding area, and I'm sure they'll be right to some degree. But whatever happens will not amount to even a fraction of what's available downtown. You want an example of what happens when they build a stadium in the middle of nowhere? Take a trip to University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale, AZ. Sure they have parking lots aplenty, but on days when it's a million degrees outside and folks don't feel like getting heat stroke before the game, they flock to the adjoining restaurants...all three of them.
When I was in attendance, the available venues were packed to the gills four hours before gametime, with lines of people stretching around the block waiting to get in. Seems to me this situation is going to mirror things pretty well if the Arden Hills site is chosen, with freezing patrons simply swapped for the sweltering ones. And don't even get me started on the nightmare that is 70,000 people attempting to leave via a cheesy network of roads that can't come close to handling them. Why build some cheap imitation of an entertainment district when the real thing already exists ten miles away? Why spend the estimated quarter-billion dollars on infrastructure when the light rail we already spent the same kind of money on rolls up to the door of the competing site? We drop money hand over fist to try and make downtown more accessible, then start throwing attractions halfway to Duluth? Get a grip folks, a few thousand people cooking brats in the parking lot never won anyone anything, look big picture here.
Advantage: Minneapolis
Financing
Arden Hills
A shade over $1 billion with a team contribution of $407 million
Minneapolis
$895 million with a requested $400 million from the team, also need to factor in an estimated $40-50 million lost from having to play at a smaller venue during construction
The question of "fair share" when discussing team contributions for stadiums is a dicey one. Many folks thing the number should be 100%. As I've said, that's not my camp, but it certainly doesn't seem unreasonable to begin discussions at a 50/50 split. A $450 million price tag for Minneapolis would top what other NFL teams have paid in terms of dollars, but is also a lower percentage than some, based on the $895 million total. The Vikings were quick to respond that the requested $400 million in funding for the Minneapolis proposal would be too much, particularly when the loss from 2-3 seasons spent in a college stadium factored in.
The team did offer a contribution of $407 million as part of the Arden Hills proposal. But that looks less generous when you factor in a total price tage of over $1 billion and the revenue streams from parking, naming rights, personal seat licenses, etc. being added to the franchise coffers. Reading from yesterday's Strib article gives the impression that the total tab could run higher still, approaching the $1.3 billion range:
Hours before the Arden Hills deal was announced, Ted Mondale, the governor's chief stadium negotiator, issued a long-awaited cost comparison of the two sites that showed the Arden Hills stadium would cost up to $1.28 billion, compared to $895 million at the Metrodome. According to the analysis, the Arden Hills site would require $275 million to $340 million in highway, parking and other improvements. The Metrodome site would need $30 million for new parking spaces and skyway connections
Call me cynical, but this whole thing reminds me of the bait-and-switch tactic being employed a few months ago, when the Purple offered to fund a higher percentage of a cheaper, open-air stadium. The tactic there seemed to be along the lines of "We'll pay half, but if you want a roof on it, that's your problem." They knew full well that a roof was a must to make it a year-round venue, but it looked better on paper to offer a 50% share of something a couple hundred millions dollars cheaper. As with most things, you have to read the fine print. This variation in infrastructure costs, which the state is on the hook for, feels like more of the same.
Advantage: Minneapolis (or at least it will be when the true cost comes out)
Timing
Arden Hills
Worked with the team and county over a period of weeks to develop a plan
Minneapolis
Haphazardly threw together a proposal at the 11th hour only after Hennepin County backed out. Compounded the error by cluttering it up with Timberwolves-related nonsense that should've been addressed separately.
Advantage: Arden Hills, by a mile
So what now? Tough to say, they have two weeks to go in the legislative session, which is my opinion is not enough time to answer the outstanding questions. Furthermore, the govenor seems to be giving off signals that he favors the downtown Minneapolis plan. This whole situation give the impression that, while progress is being made, we're still a year out from a solution. I for one hope that delay results in a cohesive Minneapolis plan being offered and accepted, for the reasons detailed above.
At this point, the only thing that we know for certain is that the Vikings will go for whichever plan benefits them the most financially. I can't blame them for that, no billionaire became a billionaire by failing to take the best deal available. But from the perspective of a taxpayer, even one who can stomach the idea of funding this thing, it's time to place one hand over your wallet. Pardon me for being leery of an industry that essentially prints money, yet keeps claiming poverty.
Nevermind that professional sports franchises are never willing to produce the financial records proving the losses they claim. Or that franchises constantly seem to appreciate, with a slew of prospective buyers any time one of them goes up for sale. No, no, just take they're word for it, this is a terrible business to be in and they'll soon be forced to sell, move or liquidate...unless of course you can spare a dime brother. To the city of Minneapolis and state of Minnesota, please don't blink here. Stick to your guns, as we learned with the Twins, it's amazing what suddenly becomes palatable when it becomes clear there are no other options.
Otherwise, if a compromise needs to be made, tie a back-end payment into the sale of the team if it occurs within 10 years. Zygi reportedly bought this pig for $600 million, and Forbes had it valued around $800 million in 2010. I'm no expert, but I'm guessing a new facility kicks that valuation up to at least $1 billion, if not higher. Factor in the operation revenue to be gained in the interim and for the first 10 years, anything north of that mark goes back to the state coffers.
So those are my stadium thoughts, sorry for the length, but it's the last I'll be writing about it until something actually gets signed, sealed and delivered. No telling when that will be. A lot of people may take issue with my views, saying that they're unrealistic, and this is the price of admission for being an NFL town, but I really don't care. As much as I love the Vikings, I can live without them more easily than just about any other team in town (save for the Wolves). In my opinion, the NFL has completely sold out it's in-person experience for the sake of TV audiences, and watching 5 games at once from the comfort of a couch or barstool bypassed the hassle of attending in person long ago. What's more, I've grown tired of the antics from both the league and this team. Both have grown like an invasive weed, to the point of choking out all other life on the sports landscape. Their arrogance offends me, and I would love for Minnesota to be the first market to say "Thanks, but no thanks" when the stadium gun is put to their head. Alas, I'm convinced there is no possible way that happens, but a guy can dream.
Worst case scenario, they move them to LA, big whoop. This might lose me my fan card, but I think that's been a hollow threat all along. It's doubtful that the people who want to build the LA stadium won't want a controlling interest in the team that plays there, and I don't see Zygi moving it just to cede control. But it's out there, so needs to be noted. If it happens, I'll get along like millions of other fans across the country, rooting for an out-of-market team the same way I typically do now, on TV. While my sympathies would lay with those dedicated souls who consider being in the stands on Sunday a staple of life, they'd have to understand that the team and league did it to themselves. Besides, nothing is easier than being a long-distance fan in the age of the Internet and satellite television, you guys will be okay. And hey, you never know, maybe we'll get an expansion team that's not a cursed pack of losers.
Like I said fellow Purple faithful, if getting fed up at this episode of team history is grounds for kicking me off the bandwagon, so be it. My first choice is for a workable deal to be struck, but if the Vikings keep angling for more and more, as has been their m.o. in the past, I have no problem walking away. Rest assured that there will always be that portion of me that only stirs while watching the Vikes play, it's too ingrained to ever leave, but this whole thing makes me feel as if I'm being treated like an idiot. Maybe things would be different if they're wasn't a petty labor squabble going on at the moment, I'm not sure. It's just that every time I turn around it seems like sports is eating another part of itself. The ticket prices keep going up, while the talent pools just grow more deluded and players more detached. It's hard not to feel stupid for caring about it at times.
Of course, my original offer to the Vikings still stands: Win a Super Bowl and we'll pay every dime.
I'm not holding my breath.
To clarify an important point, I'm not against public money for stadiums, and I consider myself a huge Vikings fan. I'm willing to bet that I've attended more games and put more time/money into this team than 90% of fans out there. I do not want them to leave Minnesota, but it's hard to have much sympathy for their situation when they keep shooting themselves in the foot.
Let's take a trip down memory lane to the Anoka County stadium days, when the team had an agreement on a $675 million facility, with $250 coming from the team. With the inevitable overruns, the true cost would likely have been in the $750-800 million range, with the Vikings share falling around $300. Of course that was scuttled when Zygi started flirting with Minneapolis about a competing plan. The county lawmakers up north decided they did not appreciate being treated as pawns, and here we are 5 years later, in the same spot. A similar joint venture with the Gophers on a shared stadium was also slapped down along the way. So as you listen to the threats, coercion and woe-is-us messages coming from the Vikings camp, it's important to remember that this could've been solved long ago.
The problem of course, is greed. The end goal of the team has always been to have it's cake and eat it too; maximize profits, team value and share nothing with anyone. Anything less than the ideal solution that will allow for that is immediately dismissed as "unworkable". Now the saga continues against the backdrop of a state budget that's underwater by $5 billion and the NFL locked in a showdown of greed that could potentially cancel it's next season. If it wasn't for bad timing, this franchise would have none at all.
But again, they've made the choice that have brought them to this point.
So now we have two stadium proposals to ponder, a far-flung palace in Arden Hills vs. a new building on the current Metrodome site in dowtown Minneapolis. Assuming we look past the fact that the Vikings don't seem to be a trustworthy partner in this type of negotiation, and that if not for their greed, this whole situation could've been avoided, what does the public gain by footing the bill for this thing? Full disclosure, I was a big proponent of the Twins stadium after watching years of baseball in the Metrodump. Baseball needs to be played outdoors, and is also the last major sport that can be attended somewhat affordably by average people. I buy the argument that sports facities don't really spur new economic activity. That dollars simply flow from other forms of entertainment to offset trips to the game. Whether you buy into that notion fully is your decision, but it tends to strike me as logical. Lacking teams, money spent on sports would likely still be spent regardless, at least that's what happens in my life.
But what else other than sports is bringing tens of thousands of people to downtown Minneapolis 100+ nights a year? What connects more suburbanites to downtown that the excursions to watch these teams play? City dwellers may say the hell with those people, let them stay home and quit cluttering up my downtown. Unfortunately that's your tax base folks, and love em or hate em, the place you live is going to come out better the next time a budget is approved if more people have a vested interest in keeping it vibrant. Target Field has been a perfect example of a sports attraction's power in this area. New businesses are opening, old ones are making additions, and all of dowtown Minneapolis has felt the lift from the 3 million wallets going through it's turnstiles. Whether the honeymoon continues, as it has with the Xcel in St. Paul, remains to be seen. But for the moment at least, there are many more people with a personal connection to the city.
The same return on investment, in the form of more people having a vested interest in your city, won't be seen by a municipality hosting a football stadium. Sure the ten Vikings games played each year will be augmented by concerts and other events, but can we expect it to yield the same sort of day-to-day lift that other sports venues offer? Some business will get a charge, especially on game days, but it's unlikely that crowds will be consistent enough to generate similar impact to the last two publicly-backed projects we've seen.
As I've said, public financing for stadiums is not an issue for me. I like sports and pay for a million government services I don't use, why not get something I enjoy out of it? But I also do not appreciate being treated like a fool, which has too often been the feeling Vikings stadium discussions have given. Maybe this time they get everything they want, and this thing finally gets put to bed. But is the best thing for the team also the best thing for the fans?
Let's break it down, tale 'o the tape style:
Location
Arden Hills
Pros: Tailgating, better gameday experience, not having to hassle with downtown
Cons: Being screwed if you don't plan on tailgating, having to spend a boatload of money on new infrastructure, chances of a serious cluster**** developing while trying to exit
Minneapolis
Pros: Central location, easy access through existing infrastructure, access to about 1,000 restaurants, public transit, revitalized downtown businesses
Listen, I like tailgating as much as the next guy, but I don't want to be locked into it every time I feel like going to a game. Build the stadium in what's essentially an open field, and that's what you'll get. Make an island and you risk getting stranded. People will try to tell you that development of bars and restaurants will occur in the surrounding area, and I'm sure they'll be right to some degree. But whatever happens will not amount to even a fraction of what's available downtown. You want an example of what happens when they build a stadium in the middle of nowhere? Take a trip to University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale, AZ. Sure they have parking lots aplenty, but on days when it's a million degrees outside and folks don't feel like getting heat stroke before the game, they flock to the adjoining restaurants...all three of them.
When I was in attendance, the available venues were packed to the gills four hours before gametime, with lines of people stretching around the block waiting to get in. Seems to me this situation is going to mirror things pretty well if the Arden Hills site is chosen, with freezing patrons simply swapped for the sweltering ones. And don't even get me started on the nightmare that is 70,000 people attempting to leave via a cheesy network of roads that can't come close to handling them. Why build some cheap imitation of an entertainment district when the real thing already exists ten miles away? Why spend the estimated quarter-billion dollars on infrastructure when the light rail we already spent the same kind of money on rolls up to the door of the competing site? We drop money hand over fist to try and make downtown more accessible, then start throwing attractions halfway to Duluth? Get a grip folks, a few thousand people cooking brats in the parking lot never won anyone anything, look big picture here.
Advantage: Minneapolis
Financing
Arden Hills
A shade over $1 billion with a team contribution of $407 million
Minneapolis
$895 million with a requested $400 million from the team, also need to factor in an estimated $40-50 million lost from having to play at a smaller venue during construction
The question of "fair share" when discussing team contributions for stadiums is a dicey one. Many folks thing the number should be 100%. As I've said, that's not my camp, but it certainly doesn't seem unreasonable to begin discussions at a 50/50 split. A $450 million price tag for Minneapolis would top what other NFL teams have paid in terms of dollars, but is also a lower percentage than some, based on the $895 million total. The Vikings were quick to respond that the requested $400 million in funding for the Minneapolis proposal would be too much, particularly when the loss from 2-3 seasons spent in a college stadium factored in.
The team did offer a contribution of $407 million as part of the Arden Hills proposal. But that looks less generous when you factor in a total price tage of over $1 billion and the revenue streams from parking, naming rights, personal seat licenses, etc. being added to the franchise coffers. Reading from yesterday's Strib article gives the impression that the total tab could run higher still, approaching the $1.3 billion range:
Hours before the Arden Hills deal was announced, Ted Mondale, the governor's chief stadium negotiator, issued a long-awaited cost comparison of the two sites that showed the Arden Hills stadium would cost up to $1.28 billion, compared to $895 million at the Metrodome. According to the analysis, the Arden Hills site would require $275 million to $340 million in highway, parking and other improvements. The Metrodome site would need $30 million for new parking spaces and skyway connections
Call me cynical, but this whole thing reminds me of the bait-and-switch tactic being employed a few months ago, when the Purple offered to fund a higher percentage of a cheaper, open-air stadium. The tactic there seemed to be along the lines of "We'll pay half, but if you want a roof on it, that's your problem." They knew full well that a roof was a must to make it a year-round venue, but it looked better on paper to offer a 50% share of something a couple hundred millions dollars cheaper. As with most things, you have to read the fine print. This variation in infrastructure costs, which the state is on the hook for, feels like more of the same.
Advantage: Minneapolis (or at least it will be when the true cost comes out)
Timing
Arden Hills
Worked with the team and county over a period of weeks to develop a plan
Minneapolis
Haphazardly threw together a proposal at the 11th hour only after Hennepin County backed out. Compounded the error by cluttering it up with Timberwolves-related nonsense that should've been addressed separately.
Advantage: Arden Hills, by a mile
So what now? Tough to say, they have two weeks to go in the legislative session, which is my opinion is not enough time to answer the outstanding questions. Furthermore, the govenor seems to be giving off signals that he favors the downtown Minneapolis plan. This whole situation give the impression that, while progress is being made, we're still a year out from a solution. I for one hope that delay results in a cohesive Minneapolis plan being offered and accepted, for the reasons detailed above.
At this point, the only thing that we know for certain is that the Vikings will go for whichever plan benefits them the most financially. I can't blame them for that, no billionaire became a billionaire by failing to take the best deal available. But from the perspective of a taxpayer, even one who can stomach the idea of funding this thing, it's time to place one hand over your wallet. Pardon me for being leery of an industry that essentially prints money, yet keeps claiming poverty.
Nevermind that professional sports franchises are never willing to produce the financial records proving the losses they claim. Or that franchises constantly seem to appreciate, with a slew of prospective buyers any time one of them goes up for sale. No, no, just take they're word for it, this is a terrible business to be in and they'll soon be forced to sell, move or liquidate...unless of course you can spare a dime brother. To the city of Minneapolis and state of Minnesota, please don't blink here. Stick to your guns, as we learned with the Twins, it's amazing what suddenly becomes palatable when it becomes clear there are no other options.
Otherwise, if a compromise needs to be made, tie a back-end payment into the sale of the team if it occurs within 10 years. Zygi reportedly bought this pig for $600 million, and Forbes had it valued around $800 million in 2010. I'm no expert, but I'm guessing a new facility kicks that valuation up to at least $1 billion, if not higher. Factor in the operation revenue to be gained in the interim and for the first 10 years, anything north of that mark goes back to the state coffers.
So those are my stadium thoughts, sorry for the length, but it's the last I'll be writing about it until something actually gets signed, sealed and delivered. No telling when that will be. A lot of people may take issue with my views, saying that they're unrealistic, and this is the price of admission for being an NFL town, but I really don't care. As much as I love the Vikings, I can live without them more easily than just about any other team in town (save for the Wolves). In my opinion, the NFL has completely sold out it's in-person experience for the sake of TV audiences, and watching 5 games at once from the comfort of a couch or barstool bypassed the hassle of attending in person long ago. What's more, I've grown tired of the antics from both the league and this team. Both have grown like an invasive weed, to the point of choking out all other life on the sports landscape. Their arrogance offends me, and I would love for Minnesota to be the first market to say "Thanks, but no thanks" when the stadium gun is put to their head. Alas, I'm convinced there is no possible way that happens, but a guy can dream.
Worst case scenario, they move them to LA, big whoop. This might lose me my fan card, but I think that's been a hollow threat all along. It's doubtful that the people who want to build the LA stadium won't want a controlling interest in the team that plays there, and I don't see Zygi moving it just to cede control. But it's out there, so needs to be noted. If it happens, I'll get along like millions of other fans across the country, rooting for an out-of-market team the same way I typically do now, on TV. While my sympathies would lay with those dedicated souls who consider being in the stands on Sunday a staple of life, they'd have to understand that the team and league did it to themselves. Besides, nothing is easier than being a long-distance fan in the age of the Internet and satellite television, you guys will be okay. And hey, you never know, maybe we'll get an expansion team that's not a cursed pack of losers.
Like I said fellow Purple faithful, if getting fed up at this episode of team history is grounds for kicking me off the bandwagon, so be it. My first choice is for a workable deal to be struck, but if the Vikings keep angling for more and more, as has been their m.o. in the past, I have no problem walking away. Rest assured that there will always be that portion of me that only stirs while watching the Vikes play, it's too ingrained to ever leave, but this whole thing makes me feel as if I'm being treated like an idiot. Maybe things would be different if they're wasn't a petty labor squabble going on at the moment, I'm not sure. It's just that every time I turn around it seems like sports is eating another part of itself. The ticket prices keep going up, while the talent pools just grow more deluded and players more detached. It's hard not to feel stupid for caring about it at times.
Of course, my original offer to the Vikings still stands: Win a Super Bowl and we'll pay every dime.
I'm not holding my breath.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Cracks in the facade
"If the Twins are still behind Kansas City in the standings a month from now, then I'll panic"
- P. Voltin, 4/4/11
It was just over a month ago when I penned this tounge-in-cheek statement about the Twins rough first series of the year. Tonight the team plays it's 33rd game, officially putting the first 1/5th of the campaign in the books. Everyone is doing the obligatory "lotta season left" disclaimer in their discussions, but without exception, every one of those discussions is pondering how things got this bad.
The Twins now sit 9 1/2 games behind Cleveland, trailing KC by 5 and Detroit by 3 1/2, with the White Sox similar meltdown being the only thing keeping them out of the cellar. As ugly as those standings are, they don't begin to convey how bad things have truly looked here. Minnesota isn't just losing games, they're getting worked over, with a -63 run differential that's the worst in baseball by a wide margin. The team's health has been a constant problem, and the players that have been able to stay on the field aren't offering much relief.
Pick a stat, any stat, and you're not going to like what you see. 30th in runs scored. A .230 batting average that's good for 27th in the majors. Unable to get on base to scratch out runs (30th in on-base %) and unable to get the big hits to compensate for lack of base runners (29th in slugging %). If the offense were the only problem, that would offer a bit of hope, but with the pitching staff only able to muster a 4.73 ERA (28th) and 15 quality starts (27th), there's no way to get by with that kind of production at the plate.
The whole thing has been so terrible, it has me imagining a conversation between Ron Gardenhire and his pitching coach that's straight out of Bull Durham:
Gardy: "Andy, what's our record?"
Andy: "12-20"
Gardy: "How the hell did we ever win 12?"
Andy: "It's a miracle."
Gardy: "It's a miracle."
Because odd as it sounds, looking at those numbers, things should probably be even worse. The list of well-copensated players on this team offering nothing was explored by Michael Rand in the Strib today, and it's a daunting list. Other than 2011 Twins My Guy Jason Kubel and Denard Span, nobody is doing anything close to what was anticipated. I'll give Danny Valencia partial credit, leading the team in RBIs is nice, but starts looking closer to opportunism than excellence when his .230 average is factored in.
Sure a lot of that can be blamed on injuries, but what about the guys that are playing? With Span and Kubel as the only two regulars hitting over .250, it's really not overstating things to say that every other player on the team is part of the problem. Okay, a couple of the pitchers have been decent as well, with Scott Baker (amazingly) leading the way, but that's it, the entire list.
With 130 more games to be played, there is more than enough time for a turnaround, but the team had better start showing some signs of life pretty quick. Everyone is scoffing at the idea of Cleveland winning the division, and they're probably correct. This start has shades of 2001 when the roles were reversed and a not-quite-ready-for-primetime Twins squad got wore down by the Tribe down the stretch. But if things go on much longer, and the deficit grows much wider, then we're going to be moving into historic comeback territory here. Even a team with a few historic comebacks under it's belt would be unwise to tempt fate in that department.
Panic? Not quite yet, but that could just be the NHL and NBA playoffs providing a distraction. At the moment, another 'p' word better sums up my feelings, because I'm mighty perplexed. I think most fans saw the holes that had developed coming into the season, and knew a return to the playoffs would hinge on the organization's ability to patch them as things wore on. But starting May as one of the worst teams in baseball? I mean this is the Twins, the team that's fit the Chinese food analogy over the years, even when they're bad, they're still pretty good.
I don't even want to think about how I'm going to pass the time in July if this ship doesn't get righted...
- P. Voltin, 4/4/11
It was just over a month ago when I penned this tounge-in-cheek statement about the Twins rough first series of the year. Tonight the team plays it's 33rd game, officially putting the first 1/5th of the campaign in the books. Everyone is doing the obligatory "lotta season left" disclaimer in their discussions, but without exception, every one of those discussions is pondering how things got this bad.
The Twins now sit 9 1/2 games behind Cleveland, trailing KC by 5 and Detroit by 3 1/2, with the White Sox similar meltdown being the only thing keeping them out of the cellar. As ugly as those standings are, they don't begin to convey how bad things have truly looked here. Minnesota isn't just losing games, they're getting worked over, with a -63 run differential that's the worst in baseball by a wide margin. The team's health has been a constant problem, and the players that have been able to stay on the field aren't offering much relief.
Pick a stat, any stat, and you're not going to like what you see. 30th in runs scored. A .230 batting average that's good for 27th in the majors. Unable to get on base to scratch out runs (30th in on-base %) and unable to get the big hits to compensate for lack of base runners (29th in slugging %). If the offense were the only problem, that would offer a bit of hope, but with the pitching staff only able to muster a 4.73 ERA (28th) and 15 quality starts (27th), there's no way to get by with that kind of production at the plate.
The whole thing has been so terrible, it has me imagining a conversation between Ron Gardenhire and his pitching coach that's straight out of Bull Durham:
Gardy: "Andy, what's our record?"
Andy: "12-20"
Gardy: "How the hell did we ever win 12?"
Andy: "It's a miracle."
Gardy: "It's a miracle."
Because odd as it sounds, looking at those numbers, things should probably be even worse. The list of well-copensated players on this team offering nothing was explored by Michael Rand in the Strib today, and it's a daunting list. Other than 2011 Twins My Guy Jason Kubel and Denard Span, nobody is doing anything close to what was anticipated. I'll give Danny Valencia partial credit, leading the team in RBIs is nice, but starts looking closer to opportunism than excellence when his .230 average is factored in.
Sure a lot of that can be blamed on injuries, but what about the guys that are playing? With Span and Kubel as the only two regulars hitting over .250, it's really not overstating things to say that every other player on the team is part of the problem. Okay, a couple of the pitchers have been decent as well, with Scott Baker (amazingly) leading the way, but that's it, the entire list.
With 130 more games to be played, there is more than enough time for a turnaround, but the team had better start showing some signs of life pretty quick. Everyone is scoffing at the idea of Cleveland winning the division, and they're probably correct. This start has shades of 2001 when the roles were reversed and a not-quite-ready-for-primetime Twins squad got wore down by the Tribe down the stretch. But if things go on much longer, and the deficit grows much wider, then we're going to be moving into historic comeback territory here. Even a team with a few historic comebacks under it's belt would be unwise to tempt fate in that department.
Panic? Not quite yet, but that could just be the NHL and NBA playoffs providing a distraction. At the moment, another 'p' word better sums up my feelings, because I'm mighty perplexed. I think most fans saw the holes that had developed coming into the season, and knew a return to the playoffs would hinge on the organization's ability to patch them as things wore on. But starting May as one of the worst teams in baseball? I mean this is the Twins, the team that's fit the Chinese food analogy over the years, even when they're bad, they're still pretty good.
I don't even want to think about how I'm going to pass the time in July if this ship doesn't get righted...
Friday, May 6, 2011
How bizzare
Earlier this week, while engaging in a text message conversation, I stated that Osama bin Laden was the Bizzaro John Lennon, since both of them getting shot was huge news, but elicited polar opposite reactions. I was in a bar when I heard Osama was dead (imagine that), and my reaction was to buy shots and toast his demise. John Lennon was before my time, but can only assume if people ordered drinks after hearing that news, it was driven more by the desire to drown sorrows than celebrate.
My buddy took exception to my characterization however, claiming that Lennon and bin Laden should never be mentioned in the same sentence. While I'd normally agree, I felt that my inclusion of the bizzaro tag was grounds for an exception. After all, I was trying to make a point that the men were polar opposites who happened to suffer the same fate, not equate the two of them in any fashion.
But this whole exchange got me thinking about the nature of the bizzaro, what defines it and examples that can be plucked from life. Sure it defines opposites, but there's more to it in my mind, a common thread of behavior and occurrences. For instance, in the simplest terms, you could probably say that white is the bizzaro black and dark the bizzaro light. But does this really give us much context for what white and black or dark and light are in the first place? Where they've been, where they are, and how they got there? Lennon/bin Laden arose because of the shooting connection, but fit because of the difference in how these men approached life. The former was a peace-loving musician who's passing brought grief to millions, the latter a war-mongering terrorist who's death literally had thousands dancing in the streets. The two of them fit as the yin and yang of famed shooting victims. If bin Laden had died in a plane crash, would he be the Bizzaro Buddy Holly? I think not. Maybe if he'd had some of those Coke bottle glasses there'd be a shot, but otherwise no way.
Because there's more to it than simple opposites, there needs to be a story to draw from. Case in point the Yankees and Red Sox. The Red Sox are not the Bizzaro Yankees, that would be the Kansas City Royals. If I had to pick a Bizzaro Red Sox, my vote would be for the Florida Marlins. Not only did the Fish win two World Series in their first 11 years of existence, they also did it in the only two years they made the postseason and never even won a division title during those seasons. Contrast that 1.000 postseason batting average with a Sawx team that endured countless chokes and near-misses during a 90+ year drought, and you've got the makings of a Bizzaro squad. Sure there's been a bit of luster lost from the contrast with the two Boston titles, but in 2003 there was no better polar opposites in baseball. In case you are wondering, the Bizarro Twins are the Chicago White Sox, one team gets to the postseason every year with a squad of feisty overachievers, the other misses with a lineup stacked with expensive home run hitters. Of course the team that always makes it has no World Series titles in the past decade, while the one they pretty much always beat to get there has one. Just adding to then Bizzaroishness of it all.
In football, there are also a few Bizzaro pairs to be found. Easiet one for me is the Ravens as the Bizzaro Browns, not only did they used to be the Browns, they won the Super Bowl that's eluded Cleveland all these years about a week and a half after leaving town. The natural inclination is to call the Vikings the Bizzaro Packers, but I'm not so sure about that one. Sure they're historic rivals and all that, but the Vikings don't exhibit the complete and total ineptitude that would garner them that tag. You'd think only an abject failure of a franchise could cause the levels of pain the Vikings have unleashed, but their incompetence is highly localized in the postseason. Oddly enough, you'd be insulting both franchises here. Instead, I'm tagging the Buffalo Bills as the Bizzaro Packers, with their Super Bowl track record, doormat status and perennial failures in the draft, they are the Lam-blow to Green Bay's Lambeau.
The Bizzaro Vikes? Gotta be the Steelers probably. They play down expectations, lurk in the weeds, rarely have a high-flying offense, instead grinding opponents down with their D...then BOOM, somebody in black and gold is holding the Lombardi trophy aloft while confetti streams down. And you never even saw it coming. Contrast that with the all style/no substance, all bark/no bite history of the Purple Hype Machine, and that's probably you're anti-doppleganger. I'd also accept a case being made for the San Francisco 49ers, they might not have the year-to-year regular season track record, but they do have the hardware us Viking fans would trade a whole lot of division titles (and out collective left nut) for.
The Bizzaro Wild is a supreme pizza. It's resonably priced, leaves you feeling satisfied and has a whole which is greater than the sum of it's parts. Even when the pizza is bad, it's still pretty good, and it usually ends up being better than you'd expect. In other words, it is everything the Wild is not.
The Bizzaro Wolves are the San Antonio Spurs, if you don't understand why, then you will never grasp this concept.
A bizzaro cheese danish is fruit salad. One has no place on a breakfast table, the other no business at a barbecue.
A crepe is a bizzaro burrito. Again, this should be self-explanatory, Happy Belated Cinco De Mayo.
Contrary to popular belief, wine is not bizzaro beer, that would be hard cider. Whiskey is bizzaro courage and Jagermeister bizzaro intelligence.
Steve Austin is the Bizzaro Richard Simmons, Marian Gaborik the Bizzaro Gordie Howe and Idi Amin the Bizzaro Ghandi. Good Scott Baker is the Bizzaro Evil Scott Baker.
France is the bizzaro Germany, which is why they've had so many issues with each other. You can't expect two places on such opposite ends of the spectrum to coexist side by side. That's why it's so fortunate the US sits between Canada and Mexico as a buffer. There is no bizzaro United States, just too many different types of places in this country, it's often a bizzaro version of itself. For instance, the bizzaro Las Vegas is one of those dry counties down south, or the campus of BYU, either one works.
Minnesota is the bizzaro Winnersville, wherever that may reside.
Hope that clears things up
My buddy took exception to my characterization however, claiming that Lennon and bin Laden should never be mentioned in the same sentence. While I'd normally agree, I felt that my inclusion of the bizzaro tag was grounds for an exception. After all, I was trying to make a point that the men were polar opposites who happened to suffer the same fate, not equate the two of them in any fashion.
But this whole exchange got me thinking about the nature of the bizzaro, what defines it and examples that can be plucked from life. Sure it defines opposites, but there's more to it in my mind, a common thread of behavior and occurrences. For instance, in the simplest terms, you could probably say that white is the bizzaro black and dark the bizzaro light. But does this really give us much context for what white and black or dark and light are in the first place? Where they've been, where they are, and how they got there? Lennon/bin Laden arose because of the shooting connection, but fit because of the difference in how these men approached life. The former was a peace-loving musician who's passing brought grief to millions, the latter a war-mongering terrorist who's death literally had thousands dancing in the streets. The two of them fit as the yin and yang of famed shooting victims. If bin Laden had died in a plane crash, would he be the Bizzaro Buddy Holly? I think not. Maybe if he'd had some of those Coke bottle glasses there'd be a shot, but otherwise no way.
Because there's more to it than simple opposites, there needs to be a story to draw from. Case in point the Yankees and Red Sox. The Red Sox are not the Bizzaro Yankees, that would be the Kansas City Royals. If I had to pick a Bizzaro Red Sox, my vote would be for the Florida Marlins. Not only did the Fish win two World Series in their first 11 years of existence, they also did it in the only two years they made the postseason and never even won a division title during those seasons. Contrast that 1.000 postseason batting average with a Sawx team that endured countless chokes and near-misses during a 90+ year drought, and you've got the makings of a Bizzaro squad. Sure there's been a bit of luster lost from the contrast with the two Boston titles, but in 2003 there was no better polar opposites in baseball. In case you are wondering, the Bizarro Twins are the Chicago White Sox, one team gets to the postseason every year with a squad of feisty overachievers, the other misses with a lineup stacked with expensive home run hitters. Of course the team that always makes it has no World Series titles in the past decade, while the one they pretty much always beat to get there has one. Just adding to then Bizzaroishness of it all.
In football, there are also a few Bizzaro pairs to be found. Easiet one for me is the Ravens as the Bizzaro Browns, not only did they used to be the Browns, they won the Super Bowl that's eluded Cleveland all these years about a week and a half after leaving town. The natural inclination is to call the Vikings the Bizzaro Packers, but I'm not so sure about that one. Sure they're historic rivals and all that, but the Vikings don't exhibit the complete and total ineptitude that would garner them that tag. You'd think only an abject failure of a franchise could cause the levels of pain the Vikings have unleashed, but their incompetence is highly localized in the postseason. Oddly enough, you'd be insulting both franchises here. Instead, I'm tagging the Buffalo Bills as the Bizzaro Packers, with their Super Bowl track record, doormat status and perennial failures in the draft, they are the Lam-blow to Green Bay's Lambeau.
The Bizzaro Vikes? Gotta be the Steelers probably. They play down expectations, lurk in the weeds, rarely have a high-flying offense, instead grinding opponents down with their D...then BOOM, somebody in black and gold is holding the Lombardi trophy aloft while confetti streams down. And you never even saw it coming. Contrast that with the all style/no substance, all bark/no bite history of the Purple Hype Machine, and that's probably you're anti-doppleganger. I'd also accept a case being made for the San Francisco 49ers, they might not have the year-to-year regular season track record, but they do have the hardware us Viking fans would trade a whole lot of division titles (and out collective left nut) for.
The Bizzaro Wild is a supreme pizza. It's resonably priced, leaves you feeling satisfied and has a whole which is greater than the sum of it's parts. Even when the pizza is bad, it's still pretty good, and it usually ends up being better than you'd expect. In other words, it is everything the Wild is not.
The Bizzaro Wolves are the San Antonio Spurs, if you don't understand why, then you will never grasp this concept.
A bizzaro cheese danish is fruit salad. One has no place on a breakfast table, the other no business at a barbecue.
A crepe is a bizzaro burrito. Again, this should be self-explanatory, Happy Belated Cinco De Mayo.
Contrary to popular belief, wine is not bizzaro beer, that would be hard cider. Whiskey is bizzaro courage and Jagermeister bizzaro intelligence.
Steve Austin is the Bizzaro Richard Simmons, Marian Gaborik the Bizzaro Gordie Howe and Idi Amin the Bizzaro Ghandi. Good Scott Baker is the Bizzaro Evil Scott Baker.
France is the bizzaro Germany, which is why they've had so many issues with each other. You can't expect two places on such opposite ends of the spectrum to coexist side by side. That's why it's so fortunate the US sits between Canada and Mexico as a buffer. There is no bizzaro United States, just too many different types of places in this country, it's often a bizzaro version of itself. For instance, the bizzaro Las Vegas is one of those dry counties down south, or the campus of BYU, either one works.
Minnesota is the bizzaro Winnersville, wherever that may reside.
Hope that clears things up
Monday, May 2, 2011
Nice
Here I was all poised to rant and rave today about the Twins coming apart at the seams, the fact it's 35 degrees in May and everything generally going to sh*t.
But then I saw the news about Mr. bin Laden, and all my frustrations kind of melted away, at least for a day. A big tip o the cap to the finest military forces in all the world. Here's hoping this gives a bit of closure to a few families out there.
Sleep tight America, scary men with large weapons have got your back, I'm going to listen to "Born in the USA" on repeat during my drive home tonight.
But then I saw the news about Mr. bin Laden, and all my frustrations kind of melted away, at least for a day. A big tip o the cap to the finest military forces in all the world. Here's hoping this gives a bit of closure to a few families out there.
Sleep tight America, scary men with large weapons have got your back, I'm going to listen to "Born in the USA" on repeat during my drive home tonight.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)