Far too much media attention is being paid this week to the Vikings rough start, and not nearly enough to yet another Twins triumph. The only team that ever delivers in this town did so once again by clinching their 6th division title in 9 seasons two nights ago, with two weeks and 11 games to spare. It wasn't nearly as exciting as last year's epic clinch in Game 163, but not having to play immediately after staggering off a plane half-buzzed should give them a far better chance of advancing.
And they had better advance.
Because now that the glee has worn off, there are only the prospects of securing home field (big deal, but almost done) and baseball's best record (not that big a deal) to keep people entertained. There is also a whooooole lot of time for people to rest players, get the rotation set and have people pick at nits. There will be no easy excuses this time, even if it's the big, bad Yankees who show up at Target Field for the first round. The Twins pitching may not be ideally suited for the postseason, but it was good enough to propel them to the best record in baseball over the last 3 months, so no passes will be given there.
It might be a bit strong to say a win is expected, given the history with the tough teams they'll be facing, but it's not too strong to say a loss would be profoundly disappointing. At this time last year, nearly everyone who watched this team thought they were dead, or at least very close. It was an undermanned squad relying on guile and pluck, who barely eeked out their postseason spot. Losing to the Yankees was not only expected, but almost acceptable, give the energy expended to fight through the regular season shorthanded. This situation, from the payroll, to the roster, to basically everything other than the lack of Justin Morneau, is completely different.
Thanks for an awesome season Twins, you're the only team I root for who consistently meets or exceeds expectations, you make the long, boring summer tolerable and I love you for it.
I just need a little more.
Onto this week's football picks, time to get back on the right side of .500:
Cincinnati -3.5 over CAROLINA - The Jimmy Clausen Era officially kicks off in Carolina, as well as in my fantasy football dynasty league. (For those of you that don't know, dynasty leagues are where you keep your entire roster from year-to-year, in order to pretend you're an NFL GM. This leads to situations in which you're breaking down the 3rd round of the NFL draft in mid-July, so you can find the next potential star who you're going to stash on your bench for 3 years. Shockingly, as cool as it sounds, discussing this in public is not a good way to pick up women. Again, the title of the blog is about more than sports teams.) To borrow a line from Eastbound & Down, my current favorite HBO series which resumes this Sunday: Stafford, you're ****ing out, Clausen's ****ing in!
NEW ORLEANS -4 over Atlanta - Waffled a bit here, and if the Falcons were playing at home I'd pick them to win outright. But given that the Saints just came off a tough road game in San Fran, where the conditions are never favorable if you're a high-flying passing attack, I see them being sharp this time around. Haven't seen the best offense in the league click a whole lot so far, but it's bound to happen soon, although Atlanta's possession running game is the best chance to keep them in check.
Detroit +11 over MINNESOTA - Don't think the Lions will win outright, but that's a lot of points for a team that has put up 19 total through two games. The Vikings offense should get untracked here and make some plays, because the Lions are still brutal on defense, but a couple of stops and a long screen-pass TD from Jahvid Best could be all the Lions need to make this too close for most Purple fans comfort.
BALTIMORE -11 over Cleveland - Lotta points here too, but the Browns are s****y, there hasn't been a more aptly named team since I christened a fantasy team The Travshamockery halfway through 2007.
Tennessee +3 over NEW YORK GIANTS - Awhile back I got sick of the "Life is like a box of chocolates" line to describe unpredictable situations, frankly the Forrest Gump drawl was the only thing that made it fun to say in the first place. But it was still a necessary, as we need a go-to phrase for conveying the unknown nature of some things. So to that end, I've updated the phrase: "Life is like a Thai hooker, you never know what you're going to get". And this my friends is a classic Thai hooker game, no idea what we've got here, so I'm taking the points.
Dallas +3 over Houston - The amazing thing about this season's first two weeks is that the Vikings aren't even the NFC playoff team that's in the worst shape. Sure Dallas has got a better offense at the moment and I'd give them the nod if a rematch of last year's divisional round game was happening, but unfortunately the schedule is doing them no favors. Going on the road to face the Texans is certainly no picnic, but I have to believe the Cowboys will find a way to win here, just too much riding on it for them not to. Their season is dead and coach probably fired at 0-3,if they've got any heart at all, they come to play this Sunday.
Pittsburgh -3 over TAMPA BAY - Lot of consternation here, and I can't believe I'm picking either of these teams to go 3-0. I mean at some point this QB thing has to catch up with Pittsburgh, right? If Charlie Batch wins on the road, it's officially time to put things to the ultimate test and dust of Kordell Stewart for next week? We're talking that level of ridiculousness here. Would I actually gamble on this game? No way, no how, but expecting the Steelers to score a defensive TD off a mistake by an inexperienced QB is like expecting a Nicholas Cage movie to suck, I like those odds.
NEW ENGLAND -14.5 over Buffalo - The Pats D looked lousy last week, and Buffalo kept it close for a half in Green Bay, but I see New England taking out some offensive frustration and posting a big number in this one. If the game was in Buffalo, you could sell me on a scrappy effort to keep the margin under double digits, but the Bills offense trying to operate on the road is something I want no part of.
San Francisco -3 over KANSAS CITY - Speaking of venting frustrations, this will be an angry Niners team on a mission, if I were Matt Cassel, I'd be thinking about upping the life insurance this week.
Washington -4 over ST. LOUIS - The Skins pass D was shredded last week, but that was Houston and this is St. Louis. On the bright side for the Rams, Sam Bradford is playing decently and, more importantly, still walking. So far, so good.
Philadelphia -3 over JACKSONVILLE - Not much to like about the Jags at the moment, including the fact that their team name practically begs the derisive use of the term Jag-offs by fans when the team is struggling. Here I thought Queens was a hanging curve, this one's slow-pitch softball.
San Diego -6 over SEATTLE - Maybe the Seahawks are good at home, probably doesn't make a difference against the Chargers though. It's a real treat when the season matching up the AFC and NFC Wests rolls around, especially if you're a fan of the late-afternoon nap.
Oakland +4.5 over ARIZONA - Like the Oakland D stepping up big here, can Bruce Gradkowski do enough with an easy schedule to make the Raiders intriguing? Was trying to think of a good QB who's last name started with P, so I could dub Gradkowski the Polish ______, but all I can think of is a first name in Peyton Manning. The Polish Peyton has a bit of a ring to it, but people would think he was a halfback. Oh well.
Indianapolis -6 over DENVER - The Broncos could be missing one or both starting cornerbacks this week, I don't have to tell you the Colts are bad team to be up against in that situation.
New York Jets +2 over MIAMI - No Revis is a problem, but I think the Jets D can compensate, have still seen nothing out of Chad Henne to back up the opinions (mine and many others) that he'd have a breakout year with Brandon Marshall to throw to. Long season, but I don't think he gets it going this week.
Green Bay -3 over CHICAGO - Love this as a Monday Night matchup, Soldier Field can be a quirky place to play, and the Bears are 2-0, but I watched them play Detroit week one, and they're not on the Packers level. Bloom comes off the Jay Cutler rose this week, perhaps only temporarily, but in significant fashion. I'm setting the INT over/under at 2 1/2, which way are you going?
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