No, this blog post is not about REO Speedwagon, frankly I don't possess anything near the literary talent it would take to do justice to that iconic band. Instead I'm looking to come to grips with the changes impacting my favorite professional football team, and somehow talk myself into the possibility that the upcoming season is about to go well.
Now positivity is not something we're known for in Loserville. Given past experience, those that tend to take the optimistic view on the prospect of things like beating the Yankees, finishing at the top of an NBA lottery or, most of all, winning a Super Bowl are typically disregarded as delusional. They are the Charlie Browns of the local sports scene, doggedly continuing in their attempts to kick that football, despite continuously falling on their ass. The more grizzled among us keep our knees bent whenever we're faced with one of these situations, ready to flee at the first sign of failure, since failure is where things always seem to end.
But in a way, I'm envious of the optimistic folks, misguided though they may be, because they get to enjoy the run-up to any event infinitely more than people like me. As it is now, periods like this offseason leave me as a ball of fear and loathing, unable to see any scenario in which things are going to go well. We'll probably end up in the same place, cursing our fortunes, but they will at least allow themselves to enjoy the ride. A few months ago, I had a friend say to me during a Twins game we were watching "Sometimes I don't even know why you watch these games, they seem to make you miserable." Of course that was a Scott Baker start, which would make anyone miserable, but somewhere in that statement was a greater point, and it's something I'm striving to do better on.
Because sports are supposed to be fun, and too often my approach makes them otherwise. This is not to suggest that I will ever be able to keep myself from being upset after an excruciating loss (still several years and 2 or 3 therapists from that), but at least I can avoid the preemptive negativity that I allow to creep into my head. I mean if I'm not going to be able to enjoy things after the games are over, or when they are taking place, I should at least be able to enjoy them before they start, right?
So to that end, I'm putting this Vikings training camp through the spin cycle, and finding a silver lining to all the troubles the squad has endured thus far:
Brett Favre is older than dirt, and our backups have the collective quarterbacking skills of a cheese danish.
Wow, I'm shaking over here, Favre has only played every game since...oh yeah, EVER. They said the same thing last year, too old, won't stay on the field, blah blah blah, and all he did was have one of the best years of his career. As for the backups, we probably won't need them, but if we do, they're good enough to get us a couple of wins down the stretch with the defense and running game on this team, it's not like we're talking rookies here, Gus Frerotte won with the same squad a couple years ago.
Might be able to buy into Favre staying healthy if it didn't look like the O-line had spent the offseason at matador school, Julius Peppers is going to have to send McKinnie a Rolex for all the incentives he's going to help him hit. Our center has been MIA since week one of camp and the whole thing looks like a shambles, what are we going to do?!?!?!?
Whoa, overreact to the preseason much? How in the world can we play without our crucial center? Isn't that the same center who stepped in as a first-year starter last season and had people crowing that he couldn't handle the spot during training camp, that center? I mean it's pretty much impossible to expect players to step in and flourish as new starters on the offensive line, I mean you have to go all the way back to LAST SEASON in order to find an example of that. Julius Peppers, don't make me laugh, the guy actually tries about four times a season, and three of those happen during the first month, since when do we worry about the Bears anyway?
Fine, but what about Sidney Rice, I mean that has to bug you, right? Guy was a friggin Pro Bowler last year and made one huge play after another, how can that be shrugged off? Throw in Harvin's migranes and the fact we're now counting on the fact Javon Walker's knees won't crumble like the T-1000 hitting liquid nitrogen, if Favre actually does stay upright, who's he going to throw to?
Listen, of course it would be good to have Rice, but who was Sidney Rice before Brett Favre got here? Just another average receiver who a great QB turned into a star. Favre has been doing that his whole career, with Robert Brooks, Antonio Freeman, Mark Chmura, the list goes on. Bernard Berrian wasn't healthy all of last year, Percy Harvin has a year of experience under his belt, hell Favre won an ESPY for Play of the Year throwing to Greg effing LEWIS, what more do you need to see??? And again, don't get me started on the run game and defense, we had to lean on the passing game last season more than we will this time around.
About that defense, down a few cornerbacks now, Griffin sounds like he won't be back until week 7, Chris Cook just tore his meniscus and will miss a couple games, any worries there?
Nice players, but ultimately replaceable, we have good depth in the secondary and the pass rush will pick up the slack until they're back at full strength.
No Chester Taylor this year, and no heir apparent emerging for 3rd downs, how do we get all those big 1st downs that he supplied last season?
You know I really don't like your attitude. Percy will pick up the 1st down slack in more of a hybrid role, Young and Gerhart will emerge as their pass protection improves and they get more familiar with the playbook.
Schedule is absolutely brutal, particularly our of the gate, talk about terrible timing for all these injuries, this team could start 2-5 really easily.
F*ck off you, tough on the front end means easy on the back end, we'll just enter the playoffs on a roll this way.
Could be last year was a fluke too, all those lucky breaks, Favre-to-Lewis, the missed field goal in the Baltimore game, everything went right. It's tough to duplicate that kind of run in this league, just look at the Giants or Titans last year, Seahawks or Packers the year before that, things can unraveling in a hurry in this league, it's the NFL, Not For Long.
Take your superstition and shove it, ever hear of creating your own luck? Teams also have good extended stretches too, or did you miss that while cherry-picking your info? Moron.
Well this is getting a bit contentious, so I'll just leave you with this: Brad Childress
Oh you motherf**ker
I tried :)
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