Many happy returns of the holiday season to you and yours, hope everyone had an excellent holiday and got just what they were. I myself did not find a franchise quarterback under the tree, but hopefully that's just because he was stuck in Philadelphia, guess time will have to tell on that one.
There I go again, discussing that team who is supposed to be avoided, but they just won't let me off the hook. Now there's another postponement prolonging this season of weird, making the Vikings the first team ever to play on Thursday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday in the same season. Pity they didn't have a Saturday game squeezed in there to complete this bizarre calendar sweep. So rather than falling among the din of the NFL weekend, another meaningless game lost in the shuffle, tonight's game gets the full "nothing else is going on treatment" from the local and national media.
The problem is there's a lot going on tonight, with the Gophers tipping off the Big Ten basketball season against the hated Wisconsin Badgers and Team USA facing Slovakia in the World Juniors. Now instead of being able to enjoy these two meaningful tilts in peace, I'm going to be buried in an avalanche of Viking fans, who are apparently unaware the clock on this season struck midnight some time ago. Look, I'm all for sticking with your team when you're trying to draw inspiration for next year, but half the players and the coach will likely be different when next year rolls around, if it even happens at all. Meanwhile some oblivious bartender is going to come bumbling along changing the station with the Gophers up one and five minutes left to play. And then we'll all have to let loose an irritated "WHOA!" to make her realize her mistake and rectify the situation. Point being, I love the NFL as much as (probably more than) the next guy, but get some perspective.
Of course, speaking of perspective, it's always important to remember that things could be worse. For today's example, we look no further than Loserville's favorite guest poster/Gopher football superfan, my friend Derek. Because today is the day, after fathering two great kids, that Derek will be going under the knife for the operation that makes any man wince uncomfortably. I have two vasectomy vignettes (killer alliteration there) to offer, the first in the form of one of my favorite jokes:
What's the definition of tough? Jogging home from your own vasectomy. If' you're going for the pun in this case, change "tough" to "ballsy". Seemed a little much here.
The second is the story of the time a few years back that I thought I was watching a knee surgery on some random channel. Having had a couple of knee surgeries, I found this interesting and paused to watch for a moment. It was rather perplexing that they appeared to be cutting a ligament, rather than reattaching it. As the camera panned back, I understood what I was seeing...and was not pleased.
Anyway Big D, here's hoping that the Gopher hoops team doesn't add any more pain to your day.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Beyond BizzaroDome
A nice bit of novelty in the form of an outdoor professional football game came to Minneapolis last night. It was a spectacle, and that spectacle was pretty darn cool. From the fans tossing snow in the air to the wisps of smoke rising from player's helmets, everything about it was about 70% more entertaining than a similarly meaningless game played in the plastic atmosphere of the Dome would've been. Much like the Twins move to Target Field, it made me think that I could get back into attending Vikings games if they held them outdoors.
Why didn't I go? Got scared off by the idea of getting turned away at the gate because there would be too many fans attending. Turned out not to be the case, and things actually seemed much smoother than I'd anticipated; all in all, I regret missing it. Then again, considering the parking situation and the fact I was battling yet another 4 inches of white plauge during yesterday's rush hour, my arrival likely would've been just in time to catch the Gophers kicking off spring practice. The good news is, I now have new-found hope that a stadium deal will get done. That way the Vikes can play outside for a couple of years, I can get some reasonable tickets for bad weather games, then go back to watching from the couch when they move into their new palace, price out the average fan by jacking up tickets to nosebleed levels and end up with the ensuing soul-dead corporate crowd. Lot of cold-weather cities are building outdoor stadiums, but we'll get a roof, and it will suck, life goes on.
Speaking of life going on, let's click the count down by one on the "Brett Favre's No Longer A Viking-O-Meter". I'm now back to the place I spent all but about 16 months of my life: Damn I hate that guy. From his injury BS to the constant fawning, it makes every game a drag now. And yes, I know I'm a fraud for throwing him support last year, have admitted it many times. Tell me you wouldn't have done the same and you're a liar. The tragedy of all this is that I never thought to make "Brett Favre Bingo", including such phrases as: "He's like a kid out there", "You have to admire the toughness of a Brett Favre", "Consecutive games streak", "Gunslinger" and so on. Two games left Bert, happy trails.
Every week I say I'm moving on, and I do...then something happens. I mean has a team ever had a more interesting time playing out the string than this one? But barring the team plane being hijacked or Brett Favre exposing himself during a drunken press conference, I don't see much happening Vikings-wise that will require our attention prior to draft chatter heating up in March. Check back then.
In the meantime, there are some very intriguing things on the horizon in the coming week, including the kickoff of the World Junior hockey championships this Sunday and the opening of the Gopher's Big Ten basketball slate a week from today against the hated Badgers. Of course the two weeks left of football season are nothing to sneeze at, plenty of intrigue to be settled, but it won't offer much help in relieving your weeknight boredom. Steelers-Panthers on Thursday and Cowboys-Cardinals Saturday, be still my heart.
All I want for Christmas is a bona fide franchise QB, the kind it looked like Daunte Culpepper would pan out to be circa 2004. Unfortunately that won't be addressed until closer to April Fool's (fittingly) than Christmas, so let's put this thing to rest, and try to focus on forgetting how bad Joe Webb looked last night. We're goingt to need something to talk ourselves into come July.
Why didn't I go? Got scared off by the idea of getting turned away at the gate because there would be too many fans attending. Turned out not to be the case, and things actually seemed much smoother than I'd anticipated; all in all, I regret missing it. Then again, considering the parking situation and the fact I was battling yet another 4 inches of white plauge during yesterday's rush hour, my arrival likely would've been just in time to catch the Gophers kicking off spring practice. The good news is, I now have new-found hope that a stadium deal will get done. That way the Vikes can play outside for a couple of years, I can get some reasonable tickets for bad weather games, then go back to watching from the couch when they move into their new palace, price out the average fan by jacking up tickets to nosebleed levels and end up with the ensuing soul-dead corporate crowd. Lot of cold-weather cities are building outdoor stadiums, but we'll get a roof, and it will suck, life goes on.
Speaking of life going on, let's click the count down by one on the "Brett Favre's No Longer A Viking-O-Meter". I'm now back to the place I spent all but about 16 months of my life: Damn I hate that guy. From his injury BS to the constant fawning, it makes every game a drag now. And yes, I know I'm a fraud for throwing him support last year, have admitted it many times. Tell me you wouldn't have done the same and you're a liar. The tragedy of all this is that I never thought to make "Brett Favre Bingo", including such phrases as: "He's like a kid out there", "You have to admire the toughness of a Brett Favre", "Consecutive games streak", "Gunslinger" and so on. Two games left Bert, happy trails.
Every week I say I'm moving on, and I do...then something happens. I mean has a team ever had a more interesting time playing out the string than this one? But barring the team plane being hijacked or Brett Favre exposing himself during a drunken press conference, I don't see much happening Vikings-wise that will require our attention prior to draft chatter heating up in March. Check back then.
In the meantime, there are some very intriguing things on the horizon in the coming week, including the kickoff of the World Junior hockey championships this Sunday and the opening of the Gopher's Big Ten basketball slate a week from today against the hated Badgers. Of course the two weeks left of football season are nothing to sneeze at, plenty of intrigue to be settled, but it won't offer much help in relieving your weeknight boredom. Steelers-Panthers on Thursday and Cowboys-Cardinals Saturday, be still my heart.
All I want for Christmas is a bona fide franchise QB, the kind it looked like Daunte Culpepper would pan out to be circa 2004. Unfortunately that won't be addressed until closer to April Fool's (fittingly) than Christmas, so let's put this thing to rest, and try to focus on forgetting how bad Joe Webb looked last night. We're goingt to need something to talk ourselves into come July.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Getting back to what's important
Man it's a great day to be alive, even if you're trapped in a snowbound metropolis with cosmic war being waged against your sports structures. Not only is it Friday, but for the first time since Labor Day weekend, this guy will not have to see the inside of a library. That my friends is a reason for celebration, and believe me I plan too.
It's tough to execute a good old fashioned bender these days the way I once did. The body is a lot less resilient and the schedule more hectic, but that doesn't mean I can't make a concerted effort to booze for 48 hours starting at 5 PM today. The anticipation of having no school work for the first time since Labor Day has me almost giddy. Even the random things that normally irritate me, like the Brazil nut (big ugly bastard that no one wants to eat crowding out cashews from my can of mixed nuts) or media coverage of English royalty (we fought a war to get away from these people, why the **** do so many of you care who they marry?) are rolling off my mind like water off a ducks back.
But even in this relaxed state, I can't quite let everything slide, and as usual, most of my qualms are sports related:
Kudos to my brother Ben for keeping the picks train rolling last week (although you'll soon see why I kind of wish he hadn't, never make picks on Sunday from a car):
Week 13: 9-7
Last week: 5-10-1 (Hurts to type that)
Overall: 91-84-2
Ben
Week 13: 11-5 (On fire!)
Last week: 6-9-1 (Fire extinguished)
Overall: 54-46-2
Brent
Week 13: 9-7
Last week: 8-8 (Pretty respectable, all things considered)
Overall: 56-46-1
Kansas City +1 over ST LOUIS
Houston +1.5 over TENNESSEE
INDIANAPOLIS -5 over Jacksonville
Arizona +2.5 over CAROLINA
Cleveland +1 over CINCINATTI
Buffalo +5.5 over MIAMI
NY GIANTS -2.5 over Philadelphia
DALLAS -7 over Washington
TAMPA BAY -5.5 over Detroit
New Orleans +1.5 over BALTIMORE
Atlant -6 over SEATTLE
NY Jets +6 over PITTSBURGH
OAKLAND +7 over Denver
NEW ENGLAND -13 over Green Bay
Chicago -6.5 over MINNESOTA
Call it the week of the road underdog.
It's tough to execute a good old fashioned bender these days the way I once did. The body is a lot less resilient and the schedule more hectic, but that doesn't mean I can't make a concerted effort to booze for 48 hours starting at 5 PM today. The anticipation of having no school work for the first time since Labor Day has me almost giddy. Even the random things that normally irritate me, like the Brazil nut (big ugly bastard that no one wants to eat crowding out cashews from my can of mixed nuts) or media coverage of English royalty (we fought a war to get away from these people, why the **** do so many of you care who they marry?) are rolling off my mind like water off a ducks back.
But even in this relaxed state, I can't quite let everything slide, and as usual, most of my qualms are sports related:
- I'm irritated that we're here in the first place, but credit to the Big Ten for realizing today that it's idea for division naming is about 4 degrees to the left of retarded. Please let them act upon this revelation and ditch the Legends/Leaders alignment for just about anything else. As has been said by many, simply going with A/B, 1/2, East/West would be preferable, and when things are that simple, you've really outdone yourself. This is the equivalent of buying a dog and naming it 'Hitler'. 'Dog' may be an unimaginative name, but it is highly preferable in this circumstance. So bravo commish, I'll give you some points for taking action even if you were helped along by, in your words, a "90 percent disapproval rating" from your fans. Hope the marketing firm that help develop those names didn't charge too steeply, might want to think about a focus group or two next time around.
- The outdoor Vikings game idea, which started out as a novelty, is quickly descending into the realm of gong show. Now it's going to be 64,000 tickets for 50,000 general admission seats, with the potential for people to wait in line for hours and not get in, there isn't a better way to handle this? Field isn't heated, concessions might not work, water pipes could blow, it goes on and on. As much as I liked the idea in the beginning, it's all becoming more trouble than it's worth. Would be one thing if the team was actually competitive and the home field advatage mattered, but they're not and it doesn't, so why go through all this? Two reasons that spring to mind are money and eliminating the idea of sharing a football stadium with the Gophers permanently. The latter situation would give the team incentive to actually make conditions worse, because the more problems, the more ammo they have. But that's the cynical view. (Note: I reserve the right to change my opinion at the drop of a hat if there's a snowstorm on Monday night and it looks really cool)
- The Wild absolutely suck out loud right now. The best player on the team is (gulp) Halfthat, and the rest of them look like a colective glob of monkey ****. Capped out and going to finish in last place, good thing they gouged the sporting public for some much ticket money on their climb to the middle, because that well is going dry in a big hurry. Every year the team gets worse and the tickets get steeper, it's quite a racket if the fans keep letting you off the hook, I look forward to the day I'm paying T-Wolves prices to sit center ice, judging by things, it ain't far off.
Kudos to my brother Ben for keeping the picks train rolling last week (although you'll soon see why I kind of wish he hadn't, never make picks on Sunday from a car):
Week 13: 9-7
Last week: 5-10-1 (Hurts to type that)
Overall: 91-84-2
Ben
Week 13: 11-5 (On fire!)
Last week: 6-9-1 (Fire extinguished)
Overall: 54-46-2
Brent
Week 13: 9-7
Last week: 8-8 (Pretty respectable, all things considered)
Overall: 56-46-1
Kansas City +1 over ST LOUIS
Houston +1.5 over TENNESSEE
INDIANAPOLIS -5 over Jacksonville
Arizona +2.5 over CAROLINA
Cleveland +1 over CINCINATTI
Buffalo +5.5 over MIAMI
NY GIANTS -2.5 over Philadelphia
DALLAS -7 over Washington
TAMPA BAY -5.5 over Detroit
New Orleans +1.5 over BALTIMORE
Atlant -6 over SEATTLE
NY Jets +6 over PITTSBURGH
OAKLAND +7 over Denver
NEW ENGLAND -13 over Green Bay
Chicago -6.5 over MINNESOTA
Call it the week of the road underdog.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Game called on account of apocalypse
Sorry for the long layoff, but things have been conspiring against me lately. From being crazy busy at work, to snowbound in Mankato, to taking grad school finals, my ramblings here have been put on the back burner. Not to mention there hasn't been a whole lot of discussion fodder to work with recently.
But I had to pop in for a quick word on the official end to the Vikings season, which came last night, in Detroit of all places, as they were eliminated from playoff contention by the Giants. Thus ends a season of bad vibes and worse luck, on a neutral field in front of people who didn't care. Fittingly, the most enduring images of this season will be of a popped Metrodome roof sagging down toward the field, and turning the team into a band of nomads. The figurative roof caved in about three weeks prior to the literal one.
Also fitting was the presence of Brett Favre on the sideline in street clothes as Tavaris Jackson attempted to keep hope alive...and reminding us once again that if he is your only hope, then you really have none to speak of. If the ultimate villain in the franchise's latest downfall is going to be collecting a buyout on a beach someplace, at least the most enduring reminder of his failure could be there to put the final nail in the coffin.
But plenty of time in the coming months to discuss how we go about dusting ourselves, for now I just wanted to remind you that rumors of my demise were greatly exaggerated. The blizzard tried, but failed to end my run. Much more to come when Thursday is past and I am once again a free man. Including the Loserville: State of the Sports Union.
I know, you can't wait, oh boy.
But I had to pop in for a quick word on the official end to the Vikings season, which came last night, in Detroit of all places, as they were eliminated from playoff contention by the Giants. Thus ends a season of bad vibes and worse luck, on a neutral field in front of people who didn't care. Fittingly, the most enduring images of this season will be of a popped Metrodome roof sagging down toward the field, and turning the team into a band of nomads. The figurative roof caved in about three weeks prior to the literal one.
Also fitting was the presence of Brett Favre on the sideline in street clothes as Tavaris Jackson attempted to keep hope alive...and reminding us once again that if he is your only hope, then you really have none to speak of. If the ultimate villain in the franchise's latest downfall is going to be collecting a buyout on a beach someplace, at least the most enduring reminder of his failure could be there to put the final nail in the coffin.
But plenty of time in the coming months to discuss how we go about dusting ourselves, for now I just wanted to remind you that rumors of my demise were greatly exaggerated. The blizzard tried, but failed to end my run. Much more to come when Thursday is past and I am once again a free man. Including the Loserville: State of the Sports Union.
I know, you can't wait, oh boy.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Kill Me Now
Well you got the breakdown of who Derek wanted a couple weeks ago, so of course you've got to be clamoring to his reaction on who the University of Minnesota ultimately hired in it's latest attempt to resurrect it's dormant (that's dormant, not doormat) football program. The consensus around town seems to be that if you like puns, it's a Kill-er move, otherwise not so much:
In a word: Underwhelming. When I heard his name on Friday, I thought I might like it more, but I just can’t get excited yet, perhaps because of all the initial negativity. Frankly, that shouldn’t bother me, because none of the commenters on the Strib, or people in the media, know much about college football, so I just need some time for this to sink in.
Maturi obviously couldn’t sell it to any of my top 7 or 8 guys, and had to start bouncing down his list. Sounds like we are paying him about $1M per season, which is not the “$2M-plus” that I had heard we had available to hire a big name guy. Having a new Prez and being a lame-duck AD didn’t help us either obviously. I have never been a hater of Maturi like many others. (I am not a huge fan or anything, but he has done some great things for the Athletic Dept.) He is an honest, passionate guy, but just doesn’t have the charisma to sell this job to anyone of note. His first mistake was to ridiculously declare that he was going to make a “Tubby Smith-like” hire. While that is fine as an aspiration, don’t set us up for disappointment by actually saying it. To get a major coach in basketball to come to the U is a realistic expectation, for football, just been too long since we were good.
On the hire itself, my pros and cons as of now:
Pros:
• He has 17 years of head-coaching experience, so he won’t have to learn that on the job like Brew did or like Chryst (Wisco OC that was reportedly on the radar this week, but Joel already promised he wouldn’t hire another guy without HC experience) would have.
• His coordinators are extremely loyal to him. He has had success, and anytime you have that, you often have coordinators that look for other jobs. IMHO, the biggest problem of the Brewster era (there were a few) was three offensive and three defensive coordinators in four years. Nearly impossible to gain momentum when that happens. We shouldn’t have this problem with Kill.
• He has had success everywhere he has been, slowing rising on the ladder.
• Say what you want about this, but he is a cancer survivor. He knows adversity, and won’t crumble under it like Brewster, Mason, Wacker, Gutekunst, Salem, et. al.
• He has a pretty cool surname. Lots of creative things we can do with the word “Kill”.
• From a money standpoint, at $1M per season, we probably won’t have another Mason/Monson situation where we hamstring ourselves for years buying out their contracts. I hate that I am listing this as a “pro”; almost like I am expecting this guy to fail.
Cons:
• Most of his experience is not FBS, only three years at NIU. And he hadn’t even had a “great” year until this season at NIU.
• He doesn’t appear to have the charisma that it takes to recruit. And, frankly, there aren’t a ton of big battles that you are involved in by coaching in the MAC. It is a good mid-level conference overall, but these schools are searching among the two-star recruits, and there are hundreds and hundreds of those, and most of them likely have just one or two offers.
• People saying that he “turned around” Northern Illinois aren’t 100% accurate. Yes, in 2007, the year before his arrival, they went 2-10, but they had a ton of injuries that year and actually had winnings seasons from 2000-2006, and made two bowl games in there. So, it’s not like he stepped into Doormat U, righted all the wrongs and had success.
• He just isn’t the sexy hire we needed to inject life into the program. I can completely understand the lack of interest in Mike Leach. The guy is a prick, doesn’t get along with people, is suing his former school, locks players in closets, has some baggage, and the list goes on. But, at some point you have to roll the dice. When Golden, Hoke, Calhoun, and Fedora weren’t interested, you need to see the writing on the wall, and get him in for an interview, at the very least. You could have structured the contract in a way that would absolve the University of responsibility if he did certain things that he has done in his past. He would have sold tickets, and right now.
• The continued apathy for the football program won’t help to raise money for anything else. Yes, we are saving money on hiring him that may be spent on the new baseball stadium or the basketball practice facility. But, when you have a good football program, all ships rise. If he wins, they will come back, but that may take a while.
In the end, no one truly has any idea whatsoever how he will do. We are upset because we think the chances are smaller, but we have no idea. Current case in point: Gene Chizik (5-19 at Iowa State before hired as HC at Auburn) took the Gophers defensive coordinator (typically not good defensive football) with him and is playing for the national title. So, only time will tell.
Bottom line: Gopher football is my favorite team on the planet (insert one-liners here), and he is my coach, and I will support the coach from right now going forward. That’s the thing about college sports, players and coaches alike make the decision to come be a part of my team, so I will support them. Go Kill!!!
A couple ways that I will be monitoring his abilities/progress prior to the start of the season:
• National signing day is February 2, 2011. Do we keep all 15 commits that we currently have (14 three-star kids and one two-star kid)? We are currently rated 6th in the Big Ten for next year’s class, so not great, but decent. Do we get additional guys that have the U on their radar? Most importantly in my mind, do we keep Max Shortell? See link below. I like the sound of a 6-6 qb who plays pro-style offense.
http://rivals.yahoo.com/minnesota/football/recruiting/player-Max-Shortell-95202;_ylt=AmVgDaMQXKrbMQM9Sb3oEnXPspB4
• Is he visible? Probably Brewster’s greatest asset (that turned into a negative over time), was his ability to get people excited, to be positive and to get press on the Gopher program. Do we see articles in the Strib during the offseason? Does he have passion?
Here’s to 2011. We open against USC (yes, that USC) in Los Angeles on September 3rd. I plan to be there with The Killer.
Go Gophers! Ski-U-Mah!
For my one-liner, I will go with: Have you considered trying out another planet? But serious, I think we all hope things go well and this hire isn't Kill-ing our chances at a turnaround.
That will not get old for a very long time.
In a word: Underwhelming. When I heard his name on Friday, I thought I might like it more, but I just can’t get excited yet, perhaps because of all the initial negativity. Frankly, that shouldn’t bother me, because none of the commenters on the Strib, or people in the media, know much about college football, so I just need some time for this to sink in.
Maturi obviously couldn’t sell it to any of my top 7 or 8 guys, and had to start bouncing down his list. Sounds like we are paying him about $1M per season, which is not the “$2M-plus” that I had heard we had available to hire a big name guy. Having a new Prez and being a lame-duck AD didn’t help us either obviously. I have never been a hater of Maturi like many others. (I am not a huge fan or anything, but he has done some great things for the Athletic Dept.) He is an honest, passionate guy, but just doesn’t have the charisma to sell this job to anyone of note. His first mistake was to ridiculously declare that he was going to make a “Tubby Smith-like” hire. While that is fine as an aspiration, don’t set us up for disappointment by actually saying it. To get a major coach in basketball to come to the U is a realistic expectation, for football, just been too long since we were good.
On the hire itself, my pros and cons as of now:
Pros:
• He has 17 years of head-coaching experience, so he won’t have to learn that on the job like Brew did or like Chryst (Wisco OC that was reportedly on the radar this week, but Joel already promised he wouldn’t hire another guy without HC experience) would have.
• His coordinators are extremely loyal to him. He has had success, and anytime you have that, you often have coordinators that look for other jobs. IMHO, the biggest problem of the Brewster era (there were a few) was three offensive and three defensive coordinators in four years. Nearly impossible to gain momentum when that happens. We shouldn’t have this problem with Kill.
• He has had success everywhere he has been, slowing rising on the ladder.
• Say what you want about this, but he is a cancer survivor. He knows adversity, and won’t crumble under it like Brewster, Mason, Wacker, Gutekunst, Salem, et. al.
• He has a pretty cool surname. Lots of creative things we can do with the word “Kill”.
• From a money standpoint, at $1M per season, we probably won’t have another Mason/Monson situation where we hamstring ourselves for years buying out their contracts. I hate that I am listing this as a “pro”; almost like I am expecting this guy to fail.
Cons:
• Most of his experience is not FBS, only three years at NIU. And he hadn’t even had a “great” year until this season at NIU.
• He doesn’t appear to have the charisma that it takes to recruit. And, frankly, there aren’t a ton of big battles that you are involved in by coaching in the MAC. It is a good mid-level conference overall, but these schools are searching among the two-star recruits, and there are hundreds and hundreds of those, and most of them likely have just one or two offers.
• People saying that he “turned around” Northern Illinois aren’t 100% accurate. Yes, in 2007, the year before his arrival, they went 2-10, but they had a ton of injuries that year and actually had winnings seasons from 2000-2006, and made two bowl games in there. So, it’s not like he stepped into Doormat U, righted all the wrongs and had success.
• He just isn’t the sexy hire we needed to inject life into the program. I can completely understand the lack of interest in Mike Leach. The guy is a prick, doesn’t get along with people, is suing his former school, locks players in closets, has some baggage, and the list goes on. But, at some point you have to roll the dice. When Golden, Hoke, Calhoun, and Fedora weren’t interested, you need to see the writing on the wall, and get him in for an interview, at the very least. You could have structured the contract in a way that would absolve the University of responsibility if he did certain things that he has done in his past. He would have sold tickets, and right now.
• The continued apathy for the football program won’t help to raise money for anything else. Yes, we are saving money on hiring him that may be spent on the new baseball stadium or the basketball practice facility. But, when you have a good football program, all ships rise. If he wins, they will come back, but that may take a while.
In the end, no one truly has any idea whatsoever how he will do. We are upset because we think the chances are smaller, but we have no idea. Current case in point: Gene Chizik (5-19 at Iowa State before hired as HC at Auburn) took the Gophers defensive coordinator (typically not good defensive football) with him and is playing for the national title. So, only time will tell.
Bottom line: Gopher football is my favorite team on the planet (insert one-liners here), and he is my coach, and I will support the coach from right now going forward. That’s the thing about college sports, players and coaches alike make the decision to come be a part of my team, so I will support them. Go Kill!!!
A couple ways that I will be monitoring his abilities/progress prior to the start of the season:
• National signing day is February 2, 2011. Do we keep all 15 commits that we currently have (14 three-star kids and one two-star kid)? We are currently rated 6th in the Big Ten for next year’s class, so not great, but decent. Do we get additional guys that have the U on their radar? Most importantly in my mind, do we keep Max Shortell? See link below. I like the sound of a 6-6 qb who plays pro-style offense.
http://rivals.yahoo.com/minnesota/football/recruiting/player-Max-Shortell-95202;_ylt=AmVgDaMQXKrbMQM9Sb3oEnXPspB4
• Is he visible? Probably Brewster’s greatest asset (that turned into a negative over time), was his ability to get people excited, to be positive and to get press on the Gopher program. Do we see articles in the Strib during the offseason? Does he have passion?
Here’s to 2011. We open against USC (yes, that USC) in Los Angeles on September 3rd. I plan to be there with The Killer.
Go Gophers! Ski-U-Mah!
For my one-liner, I will go with: Have you considered trying out another planet? But serious, I think we all hope things go well and this hire isn't Kill-ing our chances at a turnaround.
That will not get old for a very long time.
Friday, December 3, 2010
On the run
Reasons it's acceptable to drink before noon
1) Haven’t gone to sleep yet
2) On vacation (Must be actual traveling vacation, standard days off do not qualify.)
3) Killing time in an airport (Business or personal travel)
4) Tailgating
5) Sunday brunch
6) Attending a sports championship game or tournament (Full day qualifies, even if event starts after noon)
7) Viewing any sporting event that starts at or before 1 PM EST
8) Hunting/Fishing
9) Holidays (Thanksgiving, St Paddy’s, etc.)
10) Personal events/Celebrations (Weddings, funerals, birthdays)
11) More than 100 miles from home
12) Within the city limits of Las Vegas or any college town (Applies to non-residents only, likely redundant to #11, but sometimes only one applies and you need to be covered)
13) Participating in leisure sports tourney (Golf, bowling, billiards, darts, etc.)
14) Killing a mean hangover (Void if prior to going into work)
15) Divorce (Valid for the longer of one week or two days for every 10% of wealth lost)
16) Job loss (Valid for one week, then get your lazy butt up and find something new)
17) Being diagnosed with a terminal illness
18) Armageddon (Over 6" of snow in less than 24 hours counts)
NFL Picks
Last week: 8-8 (Riding the mediocrity train)
Overall: 77-67-3
Ben
Last week: 7-9
Overall: 37-32-1
Brent
Last week: 8-8
Overall: 39-31-1
Misery loves company
Houston +8 over Philadelphia (Starting off on the wrong foot here)
TENNESSEE -3 over Jacksonville
GREEN BAY -10 over San Francisco
Buffalo +6 over MINNESOTA
NEW YORK GIANTS -7 over Washington
NEW ORLEANS -7 over Cincinnati
Cleveland +4.5 over MIAMI
Chicago -5.5 over DETROIT
Denver +9 over KANSAS CITY
Oakland +13 over SAN DIEGO
St Louis -3.5 over ARIZONA
Atlanta -3 over TAMPA BAY
Dallas +5.5 over INDIANAPOLIS
SEATTLE -6 over Carolina
BALTIMORE -3 over Pittsburgh
New York Jets +4 over NEW ENGLAND
1) Haven’t gone to sleep yet
2) On vacation (Must be actual traveling vacation, standard days off do not qualify.)
3) Killing time in an airport (Business or personal travel)
4) Tailgating
5) Sunday brunch
6) Attending a sports championship game or tournament (Full day qualifies, even if event starts after noon)
7) Viewing any sporting event that starts at or before 1 PM EST
8) Hunting/Fishing
9) Holidays (Thanksgiving, St Paddy’s, etc.)
10) Personal events/Celebrations (Weddings, funerals, birthdays)
11) More than 100 miles from home
12) Within the city limits of Las Vegas or any college town (Applies to non-residents only, likely redundant to #11, but sometimes only one applies and you need to be covered)
13) Participating in leisure sports tourney (Golf, bowling, billiards, darts, etc.)
14) Killing a mean hangover (Void if prior to going into work)
15) Divorce (Valid for the longer of one week or two days for every 10% of wealth lost)
16) Job loss (Valid for one week, then get your lazy butt up and find something new)
17) Being diagnosed with a terminal illness
18) Armageddon (Over 6" of snow in less than 24 hours counts)
NFL Picks
Last week: 8-8 (Riding the mediocrity train)
Overall: 77-67-3
Ben
Last week: 7-9
Overall: 37-32-1
Brent
Last week: 8-8
Overall: 39-31-1
Misery loves company
Houston +8 over Philadelphia (Starting off on the wrong foot here)
TENNESSEE -3 over Jacksonville
GREEN BAY -10 over San Francisco
Buffalo +6 over MINNESOTA
NEW YORK GIANTS -7 over Washington
NEW ORLEANS -7 over Cincinnati
Cleveland +4.5 over MIAMI
Chicago -5.5 over DETROIT
Denver +9 over KANSAS CITY
Oakland +13 over SAN DIEGO
St Louis -3.5 over ARIZONA
Atlanta -3 over TAMPA BAY
Dallas +5.5 over INDIANAPOLIS
SEATTLE -6 over Carolina
BALTIMORE -3 over Pittsburgh
New York Jets +4 over NEW ENGLAND
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Yikes!
Rough week here in Loserville, of course when was the last time that wasn't true?
Thought we had a little something with the pro hockey team, turns out they are who we thought they were. Think I'm going to start referring to them as the Minnesota Wild Neat, because there are no shots on the ice when they're involved. 23 games in and they've been outshot in 21 of them. Of course they outshot Calgary last night and lost 3-0, so take that for what it's worth. They also can't score at even strength and have lost their leading goal scorer from last season for most of (the rest of?) the year. Other than that, things are going swimmingly.
The Wolves continue to be a bit better, but still can't close anyone out, good chance to beat the Spurs last week was squandered when they blew a 21-point lead in the second half. Not to mention a phantom foul call as time expired that allowed the Spurs to force overtime inspired me to make a "I thought Tim Donaghy was in prison?" joke. Reputation calls for good teams in crunch time is reason #135 that I have trouble getting into the NBA, incidentally, the first 130 have to do with the Miami Heat and ESPN's coverage of them.
The Vikings can't do anything right, they lose when they should win and win when they should lose. Call me a bad fan if you want, but I flipped into rooting for a draft pick mode following the Packer debacle. If you want the team to win these games, that's fine, but don't call me fairweather or anything like that. I'm looking out for the long-term future of the club, and every win from this point forward is actually hurting us. If it comes down to our first-round draft pick vs. the Cardinals first-rounder in the Kevin Kolb sweepstakes this spring, don't say I didn't warn you. Hope the warm fuzzy your got from the 5-1 finish helps compensate for the misery of watching Alex Smith/Vince Young/Derek Anderson/Jake Delhomme bumble his way through another season with no heir apparent on the horizon. But hey, other than that, Go Vikes, yay.
Gopher hoops melted down last night against an awful team that got blown out by 43 points a couple games ago. We'll chalk that one up the a bad night, these things happen...just hopefully not too often.
The Twins did win the right to negotiate with some Japanese shortstop, Idonwanotruble Ifeelsorryfoyomotha, or something like that. Nice to have the financial juice behind the team to participate in these kind of things, but there's still a long way to go. First they have to hammer out a contract, then we need to settle on an acceptable nickname (assume Gardy will be leading the way on this) and then he needs to be closer to Ichiro and Hideki Matsui than the nine total stiffs that have followed them. Sounds promising, but who can tell with this stuff? It's Japanese baseball, they might play with pieces of frozen cod for all I know. Then again, hitting frozen cod at a .346 clip can't be easy. Wonder what the rules are when the cod shatters, do you need to collect all pieces and get them to first, or is one piece acceptable for an out? Perhaps you need more than 50% by weight? Seems like this would have a major impact on how many infield hits were being collected, I need to study up on Japanese baseball to figure out what we've got here.
Thought we had a little something with the pro hockey team, turns out they are who we thought they were. Think I'm going to start referring to them as the Minnesota Wild Neat, because there are no shots on the ice when they're involved. 23 games in and they've been outshot in 21 of them. Of course they outshot Calgary last night and lost 3-0, so take that for what it's worth. They also can't score at even strength and have lost their leading goal scorer from last season for most of (the rest of?) the year. Other than that, things are going swimmingly.
The Wolves continue to be a bit better, but still can't close anyone out, good chance to beat the Spurs last week was squandered when they blew a 21-point lead in the second half. Not to mention a phantom foul call as time expired that allowed the Spurs to force overtime inspired me to make a "I thought Tim Donaghy was in prison?" joke. Reputation calls for good teams in crunch time is reason #135 that I have trouble getting into the NBA, incidentally, the first 130 have to do with the Miami Heat and ESPN's coverage of them.
The Vikings can't do anything right, they lose when they should win and win when they should lose. Call me a bad fan if you want, but I flipped into rooting for a draft pick mode following the Packer debacle. If you want the team to win these games, that's fine, but don't call me fairweather or anything like that. I'm looking out for the long-term future of the club, and every win from this point forward is actually hurting us. If it comes down to our first-round draft pick vs. the Cardinals first-rounder in the Kevin Kolb sweepstakes this spring, don't say I didn't warn you. Hope the warm fuzzy your got from the 5-1 finish helps compensate for the misery of watching Alex Smith/Vince Young/Derek Anderson/Jake Delhomme bumble his way through another season with no heir apparent on the horizon. But hey, other than that, Go Vikes, yay.
Gopher hoops melted down last night against an awful team that got blown out by 43 points a couple games ago. We'll chalk that one up the a bad night, these things happen...just hopefully not too often.
The Twins did win the right to negotiate with some Japanese shortstop, Idonwanotruble Ifeelsorryfoyomotha, or something like that. Nice to have the financial juice behind the team to participate in these kind of things, but there's still a long way to go. First they have to hammer out a contract, then we need to settle on an acceptable nickname (assume Gardy will be leading the way on this) and then he needs to be closer to Ichiro and Hideki Matsui than the nine total stiffs that have followed them. Sounds promising, but who can tell with this stuff? It's Japanese baseball, they might play with pieces of frozen cod for all I know. Then again, hitting frozen cod at a .346 clip can't be easy. Wonder what the rules are when the cod shatters, do you need to collect all pieces and get them to first, or is one piece acceptable for an out? Perhaps you need more than 50% by weight? Seems like this would have a major impact on how many infield hits were being collected, I need to study up on Japanese baseball to figure out what we've got here.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Return to Respectability
So everyone is talking about Brad Childress getting fired this week, and that's all well and good. The mayor was never a Chilly fan and felt his success was more due to an ever-expanding payroll than anything else. Nobody will convince me that Mike Tice, who was generally thought of as a buffoon, couldn't have accomplished the same things if given the same resources. Frankly I think he probably would've done better.
But the discussion of the Vikings is a much bigger production than I have the patience to delve into today, the team is at a crossroads, rest assured it will be examined thoroughly down the line. Your excitement at this prospect is so palpable I can feel in through the keyboard.
Instead, we're going to stay in the same vein of teams at a crossroads, but go a slightly different way. Partially because this week is the final weekend of the Gopher football season (as if you didn't already know) and partially because I have a slight hangover, I'm handing over the reins to my pal Derek, the most knowledgeable college football fan I know, with some thoughts on the Gophers upcoming coaching hire:
As a Gopher football fan, I grow weary of looking forward. I can’t revel in past success, as I am only 35. (We may have had the most dominant program in the country from 1934 to 1960, but I get annoyed with Packer fans bringing up their dominance in the WWII era, so I can’t be hypocritical and do the same.) I can’t look at the present too often because the last 40 years have only produced a handful seasons that one would call “successful”. So, as usual, unless I can revel in another “who-cares” bowl appearance with a straight face, I have to look forward.
Each time we have hired a new coach in the 20 years that I have been closely following Gopher football, I am filled with anticipation that THIS will be OUR Barry Alvarez; the guy that can take us to the Rose Bowl. In just four years, Alvarez took Wisconsin, one of the biggest doormats in college football for decades, from 1-10 and averaging less than 30,000 fans per game, to the Rose Bowl in 1994.
Who is that guy for the U? Who is the guy that can win recruiting battles like Brewster, coach offense like Mason, and actually build a respectable defense? Joel Maturi has suggested he wants to bring in a “name” like he did with Tubby Smith for basketball. Kudos to Joel for getting Tubby, and aspiring to do the same on the gridiron. But while that might be possible with Gopher basketball, as we have a program that has a tradition of respectability (even went to the Final Four in 1997, trust me, I remember), I don’t think that is possible any longer with Gopher football. It has just been too long since we were good.
Let’s break it down a bit:
The UofM football coach is a good job. It is good even compared to some others within our own conference:
• We have the nicest stadium in the country, bar none (yes, there are stadiums with more history and tradition, but none are nicer)
• We are located in a major metropolitan area with all the amenities one could desire (save the weather from mid-November through mid-March)
• In an apples-to-apples comparison of total spend on the program (i.e., NOT the Sid Hartman numbers) we rank 6th in the conference, so we are putting in money on coaches, recruiting, facilities (okay, yes, this is probably a major reason we are 6th, and not much worse), scholarships, etc…
• We are willing to pay big dollars to a new coach (e.g., Tubby Smith was the highest paid in the country in his first year, has since slipped to about 10th, but the money is there).
• The bar is relatively low here (notice me taking the main reason some one wouldn’t want the job and turning it into a positive). You simply get us to the Rose Bowl, the job is yours for at least the next decade and we may build a statue of you outside the stadium.
There are names bubbling all over the blogosphere, some very realistic and some very unrealistic, but these are my top choices. Just so you know, my list includes the following criteria:
1) 50 years old is about my limit. Sure, it would be nice to get Phil Fulmer to come in here and turn things around, but he is already 62 and might not be interested in more than a few years of service. I want a long-term guy.
2) They have a resume that includes head coaching experience in Division 1-A (FBS). We may hire Leslie Frazier or Marc Trestman, but I think we have an obligation to get a guy who has had success in the role we are hiring for. Pro coaches have it easier as the players are simply presented to them, they have very little “recruiting” to do. Great coordinators have promise, but haven’t been the head guy. If we were in another situation, I would be open to other options, but we can’t miss this time.
3) I have heard them mentioned in connection with the job by a reputable source, indicating that they are indeed on the radar. Would I like Nick Saban to leave Alabama and come to Minnesota? Sure. But, I am trying to be grounded in reality here. For example, I am not including Chris Peterson or Gary Patterson because those guys have had such tremendous success at small schools that they can have any job they want, meaning I think they are waiting for USC, Florida, Michigan, Notre Dame, etc… to open up and REALLY cash in on the big stage.
My list (incidentally, you can go to The Daily Gopher and read HUGE profiles on each one of these guys, and many more):
1) Al Golden – my top choice for the job. He is in his fifth year as head coach at Temple University, going 1-11, 4-8, 5-7, 9-4 and a bowl berth, and is 8-2 this year. If you can win at Temple, you can win anywhere. Temple isn’t in the Big East like the good ol’ days, but he has found a way to turnaround a program that has underachieved for some time. He has recently been a candidate for the job at Cincinnati where he pulled his name, and Tennessee where he wasn’t selected. Prior to Temple he was the defensive coordinator for Virginia and coached Linebackers at Penn State (LB U) and Boston College. He knows his defense. Plus, can you THINK of a better name for a guy to coach the Golden Gophers!?!?!
2) Brady Hoke – like this guy because he turned around Ball State, took them to 12-1 in his sixth and final year there, and is currently in the midst of his second season at San Diego State where he has brought them to 7-2 and within a hair of beating TCU on the road last week. Prior to Ball State he coached D-Line at Michigan for 8 years, D-Line at Oregon State for 6, and various other defensive coaching positions prior to that. He also knows his defense, sensing my theme? He is 51 years old, but I gave him a pass because it is so close. San Diego State’s AD used to be the assistant AD at the U. So, we might have to fight him for this guy.
3) Mike Leach – The biggest “name” on the list, this guy needs no introduction. Led Texas Tech to the most prolific offense in the nation for a decade, and is currently out of work. He didn’t end his term with Texas Tech very well as he allegedly locked a kid with a concussion in a dark closet as treatment. Personally, I don’t think it would have been near as big a deal if that kid had not been the son of an ESPN analyst, but I digress. This guy coaches offense like nobody’s business, but coaches defense like Glen Mason. And, the Big 12 is notorious for not playing defense, so would his schemes translate? Plus, I don’t think Minnesota wants to bring in anybody that has questions about their character. I would be happy if he was named coach though, as this would put us back on the map immediately.
4) Larry Fedora – Currently in his third year as head coach at Southern Mississippi. He is 48 years old and a passionate guy, who can recruit. (And by “recruit” I mean win battles for kids against bigger and better schools.) His first two years he went 7-6, but this season appears to be coming together for him as they are 7-3. He knows his offense, as he was the Offensive Coordinator at Florida for Ron Zook and was the Offensive Coordinator at Oklahoma State. I love his passion, that is why I have him high on my list. But, Tim Brewster had passion too, and that didn’t work out so well.
5) Troy Calhoun – Currently the head coach at Air Force. He has brought Air Force to some decent seasons, nothing better than 9-4, but that is really good at Air Force considering their recruiting disadvantages. He has been the Offensive Coordinator at Wake Forest and Ohio, where both schools achieved tremendous success. He was recently with the Denver Broncos as a “defensive assistant” and was the Offensive Coordinator for one year with the Houston Texans. His name was mentioned frequently early in the search, but Shooter had a column earlier this week suggesting that he has not been contacted by the U. I think that is a mistake if he is interested, because he brings a lot to the table, but I wouldn’t put him ahead of the previous four
The second tier (I would be merely satisfied to get one of these guys, not excited)
6) Kevin Sumlin – He was the initial most-often-mentioned-name but that steam has cooled as of late. Currently the head coach at the University of Houston. He is African-American, and I know that the current regime puts importance on diversity. He has served under Bob Stoops at Oklahoma as Co-Offensive Coordinator (not sure exactly what that position means) as well as Offensive Coordinator at Texas A&M. This guy knows his offense. He runs the spread offense, which scares me a bit. I personally think we are going to return to relevance with a solid defense that has good schemes, so that is why he isn’t at the top of my list. This year the Cougars are just 5-5, so he is losing some momentum there as well.
7) Randy Edsall – head coach at Connecticut and has had solid success. Since they became D-1 and joined the relatively weak Big East Conference in 2004, his best record is 9-4, with a couple 8-5’s as well. So, no breakthrough season as yet. He has coached both sides of the ball as an assistant, and is a very passionate guy.
8) DeWayne Walker – former Gopher and head coach at New Mexico State, but his record there is awful. Some success as D-Coordinator of UCLA.
Others mentioned:
1) Jim Harbaugh – seen his name often, would go nuts if he was hired, but it’s not realistic to expect him to come here. Creating a great program at Stanford, maybe want to return to the Big Ten, but he will probably be patient and wait for Rich Rodriguez to get fired at Michigan and returnit’s not realistic to expect him to come here. Creating a great program at Stanford, maybe want to return to the Big Ten, but he will probably be patient and wait for Rich Rodriguez to get fired at Michigan and return to his alma mater.
2) Mark Mangino – another controversial, and large, figure. I doubt the U is interested, and Tim Brewster was a close friend, so I don’t see him as a real candidate. But he won at Kansas, which was unthinkable upon his arrival.
3) Mike Stoops – currently the head coach at Arizona. Maybe he wants to return closer to home as he is from the Midwest, think he lived in Ohio, and South Dakota for a while, but he has a solid thing going at Arizona, and not sure why he would want to leave there beyond this.
I expect us to hire our new coach by mid-December. If we wait any longer than that, we are hurting ourselves. Colorado is a similar program that is also searching, and we need to move quickly. I think Maturi understands that as well. And, if we don’t have a guy by then, it means we are being turned down. Here’s to 2011 Gopher football!!! Ski-U-Mah.
Great stuff D, the education is much appreciated, here's hoping we get one of the 4 in your top 5 not named Mike Leach. Frankly I'm intrigued by Larry Fedora, guy has gotta have an awesome hat collection, right?
NFL Picks
Last week: 8-8 (Meh)
Overall: 69-59-3
Ben
Last week: 8-8 (Double meh)
Overall: 30-23-1
Brent
Last week: 11-5 (Performances like this are a good way to get banned from Loserville)
Overall: 31-23-1
New England -6.5 over DETROIT
New Orleans -4 over DALLAS
NEW YORK JETS -9 over Cincinnati
Minnesota +1.5 over WASHINGTON
Pittsburgh -6.5 over BUFFALO
HOUSTON -6.5 over Tennessee
NEW YORK GIANTS -7 over Jacksonville
CLEVELAND -11 over Carolina
Tampa Bay +7.5 over BALTIMORE
Philadelphia -3.5 over CHICAGO
Green Bay +2 over ATLANTA
OAKLAND -3 over Miami
Kansas City -1.5 over SEATTLE
St. Louis +4 over DENVER
INDIANAPOLIS +3 over San Diego
San Francisco -1 over ARIZONA
But the discussion of the Vikings is a much bigger production than I have the patience to delve into today, the team is at a crossroads, rest assured it will be examined thoroughly down the line. Your excitement at this prospect is so palpable I can feel in through the keyboard.
Instead, we're going to stay in the same vein of teams at a crossroads, but go a slightly different way. Partially because this week is the final weekend of the Gopher football season (as if you didn't already know) and partially because I have a slight hangover, I'm handing over the reins to my pal Derek, the most knowledgeable college football fan I know, with some thoughts on the Gophers upcoming coaching hire:
As a Gopher football fan, I grow weary of looking forward. I can’t revel in past success, as I am only 35. (We may have had the most dominant program in the country from 1934 to 1960, but I get annoyed with Packer fans bringing up their dominance in the WWII era, so I can’t be hypocritical and do the same.) I can’t look at the present too often because the last 40 years have only produced a handful seasons that one would call “successful”. So, as usual, unless I can revel in another “who-cares” bowl appearance with a straight face, I have to look forward.
Each time we have hired a new coach in the 20 years that I have been closely following Gopher football, I am filled with anticipation that THIS will be OUR Barry Alvarez; the guy that can take us to the Rose Bowl. In just four years, Alvarez took Wisconsin, one of the biggest doormats in college football for decades, from 1-10 and averaging less than 30,000 fans per game, to the Rose Bowl in 1994.
Who is that guy for the U? Who is the guy that can win recruiting battles like Brewster, coach offense like Mason, and actually build a respectable defense? Joel Maturi has suggested he wants to bring in a “name” like he did with Tubby Smith for basketball. Kudos to Joel for getting Tubby, and aspiring to do the same on the gridiron. But while that might be possible with Gopher basketball, as we have a program that has a tradition of respectability (even went to the Final Four in 1997, trust me, I remember), I don’t think that is possible any longer with Gopher football. It has just been too long since we were good.
Let’s break it down a bit:
The UofM football coach is a good job. It is good even compared to some others within our own conference:
• We have the nicest stadium in the country, bar none (yes, there are stadiums with more history and tradition, but none are nicer)
• We are located in a major metropolitan area with all the amenities one could desire (save the weather from mid-November through mid-March)
• In an apples-to-apples comparison of total spend on the program (i.e., NOT the Sid Hartman numbers) we rank 6th in the conference, so we are putting in money on coaches, recruiting, facilities (okay, yes, this is probably a major reason we are 6th, and not much worse), scholarships, etc…
• We are willing to pay big dollars to a new coach (e.g., Tubby Smith was the highest paid in the country in his first year, has since slipped to about 10th, but the money is there).
• The bar is relatively low here (notice me taking the main reason some one wouldn’t want the job and turning it into a positive). You simply get us to the Rose Bowl, the job is yours for at least the next decade and we may build a statue of you outside the stadium.
There are names bubbling all over the blogosphere, some very realistic and some very unrealistic, but these are my top choices. Just so you know, my list includes the following criteria:
1) 50 years old is about my limit. Sure, it would be nice to get Phil Fulmer to come in here and turn things around, but he is already 62 and might not be interested in more than a few years of service. I want a long-term guy.
2) They have a resume that includes head coaching experience in Division 1-A (FBS). We may hire Leslie Frazier or Marc Trestman, but I think we have an obligation to get a guy who has had success in the role we are hiring for. Pro coaches have it easier as the players are simply presented to them, they have very little “recruiting” to do. Great coordinators have promise, but haven’t been the head guy. If we were in another situation, I would be open to other options, but we can’t miss this time.
3) I have heard them mentioned in connection with the job by a reputable source, indicating that they are indeed on the radar. Would I like Nick Saban to leave Alabama and come to Minnesota? Sure. But, I am trying to be grounded in reality here. For example, I am not including Chris Peterson or Gary Patterson because those guys have had such tremendous success at small schools that they can have any job they want, meaning I think they are waiting for USC, Florida, Michigan, Notre Dame, etc… to open up and REALLY cash in on the big stage.
My list (incidentally, you can go to The Daily Gopher and read HUGE profiles on each one of these guys, and many more):
1) Al Golden – my top choice for the job. He is in his fifth year as head coach at Temple University, going 1-11, 4-8, 5-7, 9-4 and a bowl berth, and is 8-2 this year. If you can win at Temple, you can win anywhere. Temple isn’t in the Big East like the good ol’ days, but he has found a way to turnaround a program that has underachieved for some time. He has recently been a candidate for the job at Cincinnati where he pulled his name, and Tennessee where he wasn’t selected. Prior to Temple he was the defensive coordinator for Virginia and coached Linebackers at Penn State (LB U) and Boston College. He knows his defense. Plus, can you THINK of a better name for a guy to coach the Golden Gophers!?!?!
2) Brady Hoke – like this guy because he turned around Ball State, took them to 12-1 in his sixth and final year there, and is currently in the midst of his second season at San Diego State where he has brought them to 7-2 and within a hair of beating TCU on the road last week. Prior to Ball State he coached D-Line at Michigan for 8 years, D-Line at Oregon State for 6, and various other defensive coaching positions prior to that. He also knows his defense, sensing my theme? He is 51 years old, but I gave him a pass because it is so close. San Diego State’s AD used to be the assistant AD at the U. So, we might have to fight him for this guy.
3) Mike Leach – The biggest “name” on the list, this guy needs no introduction. Led Texas Tech to the most prolific offense in the nation for a decade, and is currently out of work. He didn’t end his term with Texas Tech very well as he allegedly locked a kid with a concussion in a dark closet as treatment. Personally, I don’t think it would have been near as big a deal if that kid had not been the son of an ESPN analyst, but I digress. This guy coaches offense like nobody’s business, but coaches defense like Glen Mason. And, the Big 12 is notorious for not playing defense, so would his schemes translate? Plus, I don’t think Minnesota wants to bring in anybody that has questions about their character. I would be happy if he was named coach though, as this would put us back on the map immediately.
4) Larry Fedora – Currently in his third year as head coach at Southern Mississippi. He is 48 years old and a passionate guy, who can recruit. (And by “recruit” I mean win battles for kids against bigger and better schools.) His first two years he went 7-6, but this season appears to be coming together for him as they are 7-3. He knows his offense, as he was the Offensive Coordinator at Florida for Ron Zook and was the Offensive Coordinator at Oklahoma State. I love his passion, that is why I have him high on my list. But, Tim Brewster had passion too, and that didn’t work out so well.
5) Troy Calhoun – Currently the head coach at Air Force. He has brought Air Force to some decent seasons, nothing better than 9-4, but that is really good at Air Force considering their recruiting disadvantages. He has been the Offensive Coordinator at Wake Forest and Ohio, where both schools achieved tremendous success. He was recently with the Denver Broncos as a “defensive assistant” and was the Offensive Coordinator for one year with the Houston Texans. His name was mentioned frequently early in the search, but Shooter had a column earlier this week suggesting that he has not been contacted by the U. I think that is a mistake if he is interested, because he brings a lot to the table, but I wouldn’t put him ahead of the previous four
The second tier (I would be merely satisfied to get one of these guys, not excited)
6) Kevin Sumlin – He was the initial most-often-mentioned-name but that steam has cooled as of late. Currently the head coach at the University of Houston. He is African-American, and I know that the current regime puts importance on diversity. He has served under Bob Stoops at Oklahoma as Co-Offensive Coordinator (not sure exactly what that position means) as well as Offensive Coordinator at Texas A&M. This guy knows his offense. He runs the spread offense, which scares me a bit. I personally think we are going to return to relevance with a solid defense that has good schemes, so that is why he isn’t at the top of my list. This year the Cougars are just 5-5, so he is losing some momentum there as well.
7) Randy Edsall – head coach at Connecticut and has had solid success. Since they became D-1 and joined the relatively weak Big East Conference in 2004, his best record is 9-4, with a couple 8-5’s as well. So, no breakthrough season as yet. He has coached both sides of the ball as an assistant, and is a very passionate guy.
8) DeWayne Walker – former Gopher and head coach at New Mexico State, but his record there is awful. Some success as D-Coordinator of UCLA.
Others mentioned:
1) Jim Harbaugh – seen his name often, would go nuts if he was hired, but it’s not realistic to expect him to come here. Creating a great program at Stanford, maybe want to return to the Big Ten, but he will probably be patient and wait for Rich Rodriguez to get fired at Michigan and returnit’s not realistic to expect him to come here. Creating a great program at Stanford, maybe want to return to the Big Ten, but he will probably be patient and wait for Rich Rodriguez to get fired at Michigan and return to his alma mater.
2) Mark Mangino – another controversial, and large, figure. I doubt the U is interested, and Tim Brewster was a close friend, so I don’t see him as a real candidate. But he won at Kansas, which was unthinkable upon his arrival.
3) Mike Stoops – currently the head coach at Arizona. Maybe he wants to return closer to home as he is from the Midwest, think he lived in Ohio, and South Dakota for a while, but he has a solid thing going at Arizona, and not sure why he would want to leave there beyond this.
I expect us to hire our new coach by mid-December. If we wait any longer than that, we are hurting ourselves. Colorado is a similar program that is also searching, and we need to move quickly. I think Maturi understands that as well. And, if we don’t have a guy by then, it means we are being turned down. Here’s to 2011 Gopher football!!! Ski-U-Mah.
Great stuff D, the education is much appreciated, here's hoping we get one of the 4 in your top 5 not named Mike Leach. Frankly I'm intrigued by Larry Fedora, guy has gotta have an awesome hat collection, right?
NFL Picks
Last week: 8-8 (Meh)
Overall: 69-59-3
Ben
Last week: 8-8 (Double meh)
Overall: 30-23-1
Brent
Last week: 11-5 (Performances like this are a good way to get banned from Loserville)
Overall: 31-23-1
New England -6.5 over DETROIT
New Orleans -4 over DALLAS
NEW YORK JETS -9 over Cincinnati
Minnesota +1.5 over WASHINGTON
Pittsburgh -6.5 over BUFFALO
HOUSTON -6.5 over Tennessee
NEW YORK GIANTS -7 over Jacksonville
CLEVELAND -11 over Carolina
Tampa Bay +7.5 over BALTIMORE
Philadelphia -3.5 over CHICAGO
Green Bay +2 over ATLANTA
OAKLAND -3 over Miami
Kansas City -1.5 over SEATTLE
St. Louis +4 over DENVER
INDIANAPOLIS +3 over San Diego
San Francisco -1 over ARIZONA
Friday, November 19, 2010
Everything but the NFL (and of course NFL picks)
As a dedicated (some might say demented) follower of all things sports, particularly the local variety, my favorite place on Earth is a bar called Joe Senser's in Eagan, MN. With 4 x 6' screens ringing the inside and every sports package known to man, it is truly a sportsfan's paradise if you catch it on the right evening. Tonight, with the Wild facing the Red Wings, Wolves playing the Lakers, and Gopher hoops squaring off against North Carolina, happens to be one of those evenings. Heck, there's even a Duluth-Wisconsin college hockey showdown thrown in to boot.
Although these winter sports teams have been in action for a few weeks, tonight feels like the true lidlifter on the season. Perhaps it's the first meaningful college hoops game, first Timberwolves game that is actually being broadcast (more on that later), or just the fact there's snow on the ground, I'm ready to embrace the Boys of Winter. So far, they're making it seem like that love may not be squandered.
The Wolves are what they are, a team that we're simply not expecting much from in terms of results. The success or failure of the season will hinge on intangibles: Staying competitive, finding an identity, young players improving. So far, with the emergence of Michael Beasley as an elite scorer, Kevin Love's amazing rebounding and Wes Johnson's promise, they're delivering in spades. I've been a big critic of GM David Kahn the past couple of years, due to the arrogance I perceived from him and some flat-out preposterous statements he's made. It must be acknowledged that we are only 13 games into this thing, but based on the early returns, we could be a few months away from an official apology being issued. The bar is low, and the first steps are always easiest, but for the first time in a very long time, I'm intrigued by Timberwolves basketball. And that's really all I was asking this season.
The Wild had more expected of them this season, and haven't exactly gotten off to a blazing start. But things certainly haven't been bad either, and some of the keys to success I addressed way back in June have shown promise. The bottom line is they're going to need more goals, period. But with Nicklas Backstrom returning to form to steal a few games in the earlygoing, Brent Burns looking like his old self and the addition of Matt Cullen proving to be a revelation, things are looking up a bit. Even my nemesis Halfthat has looked suprisingly competent. Are there concerns? Heck yes. The ridiculous powerplay percentage won't hold up, last year's leading goal scorer is on the shelf with an injury and the goaltenders can't keep this up all season. But the good news is, so far so good, and after a 2009-10 season in which an early hole was dug, leaving the team trying to claw out of it all season, we'll take it.
Gopher hoops was to be the savior this winter. No national, or even Big Ten, title aspirations, but a fun team with talent up and down the lineup that closed out last year on a high note. College basketball is a fantastic sport, consistently exciting, with wild swings of momentum and scoring, played in historic venues in front of rabid crowds, I just can't say enough about it. The Gophers have never been a star-studded group of high-achievers, but they've always been competent, save the dark days of the Muson Era. But now, in year 4 of the Tubby Smith Revolution, the team seemed poised to make a leap. Frankly, it was a leap that was supposed to be made last season, before a rash off suspensions and ineligibility derailed everything. So you can imagine the foreboding that was being felt when the teams best guard, Davoe Joseph, was suspended for a violation of team rules last week. We still don't know what he did, or when he'll be back, but we do know one thing: When (if?) he returns, this team could be really good.
Now I don't want to get too far down the road on you, but is there any event that packs more excitement per minute than March Madness? With a whole season of ups and downs, wins and losses, avoiding injury and other missteps, still to come, it's way early to be chatting about this. But I can't get the thought of making it through that first weekend out of my head, and from what I can see (knock on wood) this team could have the pieces to do it. Of course that whole opinion might get turned on it's ear after watching them play the #8 team in the country tonight, but I love that this matchup is happening. Beyond the experience of simply facing good competition, these games have a way of hanging around all season. The past two years is't been early-season upsets of ranked opponents that helped the Gophers earn tourney berths, and while I hope that's not necessary this season, a good showing is always nice to have. I don't expect a win by any means, but I am hoping for one. At any rate, hope you can enjoy a great evening of sports.
(Closed-circuit to Fox Sports North, it doesn't wreck my night that you're not showing the Gopher hockey game tonight, but did you really have to show a home game of a hated rival? Don't get me wrong, I'm always a fan of a good college hockey game, and being that I can't watch my Sioux in the wilds of Omaha tonight, will be casting an eye toward the Bulldogs and Badgers. But if I was a Gopher hockey fan, or a Timberwolves diehard who missed K-Love's 31-31 game or Beasley's last second winner on Sunday, I'd feel pretty jerked around.
I know it's a rough economy and all that, so not sending a production crew to Houghton, Michigan might be excusable, but the simple fact is we've got too many things going on in this town to live with your paltry bandwith. Sports stations in other cities have alternate channels that pop up when games conflict, so with two professional teams and a popular college program colliding at least once a weekend for nearly half the year, I gotta ask, where are you at on that one? And don't tell me to get a life and not worry about watching all three at once, I'm your bread-n-butter consumer here folks.)
NFL Picks
Last week: 9-4 (I believe 'scintilating' is the word you're looking for)
Overall: 61-51-3
Ben
Last week: 6-7 (Thud)
Overall: 22-15-1
Brent
Last week: 6-7 (Double thud)
Overall: 20-18-1
MIAMI -1.5 over Chicago (Little hiccup there, don't ever pick Miami at home, lesson learned)
PITTSBURGH -7 over Oakland
NY JETS -7 over Houston
Baltimore -10.5 over CAROLINA
TENNESEE -7 over Washington
Detroit +6.5 over DALLAS
Green Bay -3 over MINNESOTA
Buffalo +6 over CINCINATTI
Cleveland +1.5 over JACKSONVILLE
KANSAS CITY -8 over Arizona
Seattle +11.5 over NEW ORLEANS
Atlanta -3 over ST. LOUIS
Tampa Bay +3.5 over SAN FRANCISCO
NEW ENGLAND -3.5 over Indianapolis
NY Giants +3 over PHILADELPHIA
SAN DIEGO -10 over Denver
Although these winter sports teams have been in action for a few weeks, tonight feels like the true lidlifter on the season. Perhaps it's the first meaningful college hoops game, first Timberwolves game that is actually being broadcast (more on that later), or just the fact there's snow on the ground, I'm ready to embrace the Boys of Winter. So far, they're making it seem like that love may not be squandered.
The Wolves are what they are, a team that we're simply not expecting much from in terms of results. The success or failure of the season will hinge on intangibles: Staying competitive, finding an identity, young players improving. So far, with the emergence of Michael Beasley as an elite scorer, Kevin Love's amazing rebounding and Wes Johnson's promise, they're delivering in spades. I've been a big critic of GM David Kahn the past couple of years, due to the arrogance I perceived from him and some flat-out preposterous statements he's made. It must be acknowledged that we are only 13 games into this thing, but based on the early returns, we could be a few months away from an official apology being issued. The bar is low, and the first steps are always easiest, but for the first time in a very long time, I'm intrigued by Timberwolves basketball. And that's really all I was asking this season.
The Wild had more expected of them this season, and haven't exactly gotten off to a blazing start. But things certainly haven't been bad either, and some of the keys to success I addressed way back in June have shown promise. The bottom line is they're going to need more goals, period. But with Nicklas Backstrom returning to form to steal a few games in the earlygoing, Brent Burns looking like his old self and the addition of Matt Cullen proving to be a revelation, things are looking up a bit. Even my nemesis Halfthat has looked suprisingly competent. Are there concerns? Heck yes. The ridiculous powerplay percentage won't hold up, last year's leading goal scorer is on the shelf with an injury and the goaltenders can't keep this up all season. But the good news is, so far so good, and after a 2009-10 season in which an early hole was dug, leaving the team trying to claw out of it all season, we'll take it.
Gopher hoops was to be the savior this winter. No national, or even Big Ten, title aspirations, but a fun team with talent up and down the lineup that closed out last year on a high note. College basketball is a fantastic sport, consistently exciting, with wild swings of momentum and scoring, played in historic venues in front of rabid crowds, I just can't say enough about it. The Gophers have never been a star-studded group of high-achievers, but they've always been competent, save the dark days of the Muson Era. But now, in year 4 of the Tubby Smith Revolution, the team seemed poised to make a leap. Frankly, it was a leap that was supposed to be made last season, before a rash off suspensions and ineligibility derailed everything. So you can imagine the foreboding that was being felt when the teams best guard, Davoe Joseph, was suspended for a violation of team rules last week. We still don't know what he did, or when he'll be back, but we do know one thing: When (if?) he returns, this team could be really good.
Now I don't want to get too far down the road on you, but is there any event that packs more excitement per minute than March Madness? With a whole season of ups and downs, wins and losses, avoiding injury and other missteps, still to come, it's way early to be chatting about this. But I can't get the thought of making it through that first weekend out of my head, and from what I can see (knock on wood) this team could have the pieces to do it. Of course that whole opinion might get turned on it's ear after watching them play the #8 team in the country tonight, but I love that this matchup is happening. Beyond the experience of simply facing good competition, these games have a way of hanging around all season. The past two years is't been early-season upsets of ranked opponents that helped the Gophers earn tourney berths, and while I hope that's not necessary this season, a good showing is always nice to have. I don't expect a win by any means, but I am hoping for one. At any rate, hope you can enjoy a great evening of sports.
(Closed-circuit to Fox Sports North, it doesn't wreck my night that you're not showing the Gopher hockey game tonight, but did you really have to show a home game of a hated rival? Don't get me wrong, I'm always a fan of a good college hockey game, and being that I can't watch my Sioux in the wilds of Omaha tonight, will be casting an eye toward the Bulldogs and Badgers. But if I was a Gopher hockey fan, or a Timberwolves diehard who missed K-Love's 31-31 game or Beasley's last second winner on Sunday, I'd feel pretty jerked around.
I know it's a rough economy and all that, so not sending a production crew to Houghton, Michigan might be excusable, but the simple fact is we've got too many things going on in this town to live with your paltry bandwith. Sports stations in other cities have alternate channels that pop up when games conflict, so with two professional teams and a popular college program colliding at least once a weekend for nearly half the year, I gotta ask, where are you at on that one? And don't tell me to get a life and not worry about watching all three at once, I'm your bread-n-butter consumer here folks.)
NFL Picks
Last week: 9-4 (I believe 'scintilating' is the word you're looking for)
Overall: 61-51-3
Ben
Last week: 6-7 (Thud)
Overall: 22-15-1
Brent
Last week: 6-7 (Double thud)
Overall: 20-18-1
MIAMI -1.5 over Chicago (Little hiccup there, don't ever pick Miami at home, lesson learned)
PITTSBURGH -7 over Oakland
NY JETS -7 over Houston
Baltimore -10.5 over CAROLINA
TENNESEE -7 over Washington
Detroit +6.5 over DALLAS
Green Bay -3 over MINNESOTA
Buffalo +6 over CINCINATTI
Cleveland +1.5 over JACKSONVILLE
KANSAS CITY -8 over Arizona
Seattle +11.5 over NEW ORLEANS
Atlanta -3 over ST. LOUIS
Tampa Bay +3.5 over SAN FRANCISCO
NEW ENGLAND -3.5 over Indianapolis
NY Giants +3 over PHILADELPHIA
SAN DIEGO -10 over Denver
Thursday, November 18, 2010
A fate worse than _____
So that happened, damn I hate it when I'm right. We came, we saw, they conquered. Vidi, veni, ve'll see ya next year-i. Not a surprise given the Vikings recent Chicago history, not really much of a dissapointment in the context of history, just a feeble ending to a feeble season.
A heart that's been scarred over so many times takes a sharp blade to pierce it anew, and this year's team was about as keen as a spoon. What does get me a bit though is the realization that the window is officially closed with this version of the Vikings; too many free agents, no QB of the future and perhaps even a new coach, it's time to drop back and punt.
That leads me down me down memory lane to last season, and the five years wandering in the wilderness that preceeded it. They built a team, the stars aligned, it didn't quite happen. And I think most of us knew at the time that was the best shot we would see from that group, trying to prop it up this year was a last gasp.
So I put it to you, fellow Vikings fan, to finish this sentence, and offer all that apply for me personally:
"If the Vikings had won the Super Bowl last season, I would..."
Take a swift kick in the nuts.
Be fine with them losing every game they play for 5 years.
Have no problem with a 10-year playoff drought.
Kiss Brad Childress on the mouth.
Shrug off the Packers winning 3 titles in a row.
Name my first-born son Brett Favre Voltin.
Never need another team I root for to win a title for the rest of my life.
Handle it okay if they packed up the team and moved them to LA.
And with that, it's officially winter sports season.
(Tonight's pick: MIAMI -1 over Chicago)
A heart that's been scarred over so many times takes a sharp blade to pierce it anew, and this year's team was about as keen as a spoon. What does get me a bit though is the realization that the window is officially closed with this version of the Vikings; too many free agents, no QB of the future and perhaps even a new coach, it's time to drop back and punt.
That leads me down me down memory lane to last season, and the five years wandering in the wilderness that preceeded it. They built a team, the stars aligned, it didn't quite happen. And I think most of us knew at the time that was the best shot we would see from that group, trying to prop it up this year was a last gasp.
So I put it to you, fellow Vikings fan, to finish this sentence, and offer all that apply for me personally:
"If the Vikings had won the Super Bowl last season, I would..."
Take a swift kick in the nuts.
Be fine with them losing every game they play for 5 years.
Have no problem with a 10-year playoff drought.
Kiss Brad Childress on the mouth.
Shrug off the Packers winning 3 titles in a row.
Name my first-born son Brett Favre Voltin.
Never need another team I root for to win a title for the rest of my life.
Handle it okay if they packed up the team and moved them to LA.
And with that, it's officially winter sports season.
(Tonight's pick: MIAMI -1 over Chicago)
Friday, November 12, 2010
This may not be the Windy City, but the predictions certainly blow
Quick thought on the latest, greatest must-win Vikings game of the season. Why am I hearing things like “I could see the Vikings winning big this week” from people who are paid to opine on the team and (allegedly) know what they’re talking about? Has past history really given any indication that’s likely to happen? Now I’d like to opine on sports for a living, but at the moment it’s merely a hobby. A lot of us like to think we’re smarter than we are about this stuff, arguing with friends about trades and draft picks, saying “so-and-so is an idiot, I can’t believe they actually put him on the air”. Most of us are full of it most of the time, we just don’t have anyone recording all of our stupid utterances and preserving them for posterity. The opportunity to look back on my opinions, crowing about what I got right and laughing about what I got wrong, is the one of the main reasons I started this blog in the first place; right behind boredom and the fact a lot of my friends tired of my whining and complaining via email.
But what give every armchair analyst out there the impression that they could step in for the guy on the radio is hearing statements like the one I just mentioned. I might not be a pro here, but I have been paying close enough attention over the last decade to realize that the idea of a Viking blowout in Soldier Field would be pretty damned unique. Anything is possible, but I would love to ask the guy what gives him that impression. A 5-minute flourish against a terrible Cardinal team? The fact that the defensive end who singlehandedly destroyed a much better Vikings squad at Carolina last year is now residing in Chicago? (If this game was at the Dome, I’d suggest handing out pairs of Bryant McKinnie novelty roller skates to the first 10,000 fans) Or is it just the stellar history the Vikings are bringing with them to town? I’d suggest renaming Soldier Field “Metrodome South”, but only if the South is intended as a reference to hell.
In the last decade of facing the Bears on the road, Minnesota has crafted a gaudy 2-8 record. The last one, 34-31 in 2007, could not exactly be termed a cakewalk, as it required 224 rushing (at the time a team record) and 361 all-purpose (3rd most in NFL history) from Adrian Peterson to get it done. You recall that game, it took a 70-yard kick return with a minute left to set up the winning FG, quite the thrashing indeed. Before that? Roll back the clock to 2000 and the high-flying Vertical Vikes of the Randy Moss Era (do I need to clarify that I mean the first one ?), which seems like a lifetime ago. Those were the days.
So to recap, one 3-point win in the last nine games, and getting it took one of the great individual efforts in the history of football. Seems like a recipe for a blowout to me, how about you? And sure, you can say the Bears had some pretty good teams during that stretch, great D early in the decade, went to a Super Bowl. But I will see that defense and raise you Jim Miller, Kordell Stewart, Rex Grossman, Chad Hutchinson, Jonathan Quinn, Kyle Orton (rookie version) and Craig Krenzel. Heck, even Moses Moreno might’ve started one of those games for all I know. Should’ve been able to manage more than one win on their turf, and that’s why I think there’s something more cosmic going on here. They may eek out a win, but a blowout? Don’t make me laugh.
Although I will say if AP goes for 361 all-purpose, I think we win handily. Just throwing that out there. Sometimes you’ve gotta be bold.
Speaking of reflecting back, we’re heading into Week 10, and most teams have half their season in the books. Seems like a good time to see how my NFL preview is panning out.
AFC West
San Diego
Prediction: 9-7
Current Record: 4-5
Comment: I said the early season slate looked easy, forgot that Norv Turner teams don’t starting playing until October. Guess we all have memory lapses once in awhile.
Kansas City
Prediction: 9-7
Current Record: 5-3
Comment: Loving this! The Official 2010 Sleeper of Loserville is making things happen, and the sked looks favorable from here, keeping the fingers crossed.
Oakland
Prediction: 6-10
Current Record: 5-4
Comment: Blinded by Jason Campbell and never even saw the league’s scariest running game north of Houston coming. Campbell’s been pretty solid too, but when every safety takes two steps forward at the snap, a lot of mediocre QBs can look great. Just not T-Jack.
Denver
Prediction: 5-11
Current Record: 2-6
Comment: Are who I thought they were. Now roll Tebow out there to get pummeled so we can put this whole “I’m a quarterback!” farce behind us and see what he can do at H-back next year.
AFC South
Indianapolis
Prediction: 12-4
Current Record: 5-3
Comment: Stormy seas thus far, but I stand by my initial assessment…well maybe a couple more paces to the right of it, but in the same general vicinity
Houston
Prediction: 10-6
Current Record: 4-4
Comment: Hmm, got roped in by the Houston hype again, felt good about this a month in, now not so much. Still, beat Denver, Jacksonville twice, split with Tennessee…and then you only have to get two of @PHI, @NYJ, vsBAL, @TEN? Yeah, maybe the playoffs aren’t happening after all.
Tennessee
Prediction: 8-8
Current Record: 5-3
Comment: I’m claiming victory on my Expectations > Vince Young take from the preseason, as he’s been missed games due to both injury and ineffectiveness this season. Sure he’s 3-2 and sporting a 103.1 passer rating, but he still plays from the sandlot “one-big heave” school of quarterbacking, as evident by his 10-21/253/2 TDs line last week. The Titans still haven’t faced Indy, and I think they’ve still got it in them to blow it.
Jacksonville
Prediction: 7-9
Current Record: 4-4
Comment: With how bad they’ve looked at times, it’s pretty jarring to check out the standings and see them at 4-4. My brain has trouble reconciling it, every time I hear someone mention them as still being in the hunt, I’m momentarily confused. And the I remember this is a bizarre year where the Parity Monster is running amok.
AFC North
Baltimore
Prediction: 11-5
Current Record: 6-3
Comment: Shouldn’t have lost last night, but still seems okay. Double the opposition’s best WR in the last minute fellas, free advice from me to you.
Cincinnati
Prediction: 8-8
Current Record: 2-6
Comment: Was getting bad vibes off them in the preseason, should’ve picked them lower, oh well
Pittsburgh
Prediction: 7-9
Current Record: 6-2
Comment: An excerpt from my preview: “I’m feeling a down year for the Steelers. I’m well aware that this is the pick most likely to make me look stupid though, they’re a scrappy team going back as far as I can remember.” Sometimes, deep down, you know, but for some reason you don’t acknowledge that part of you that knows something. That’s probably about the time you start expecting the Vikings to blow out the Bears at Soldier Field.
Cleveland
Prediction: 3-13
Current Record: 3-5
Comment: Happy to be proven wrong here, next to the Chiefs and Raiders resurgence, a competent (could even call the dangerous) Browns team is my favorite storyline of 2010.
AFC East
New England
Prediction: 11-5
Current Record: 6-2
Comment: Return to glory? Check. Huge year for the Brady-Moss connection? Not so much.
New York Jets
Prediction: 9-7
Current Record: 6-2
Comment: Preseason quote #2, “Replacing Thomas Jones with LaDanian Tomlinson was a mistake in my mind, nobody ever wants Jones, but all he does is produce.” Also called them overhyped. Whoops.
Miami
Prediction: 9-7
Current Record: 4-4
Comment: MAKE THE EVIL VOICES STOP!!! “Very excited for the Chad Henne Era now that Brandon Marshall is in the fold”
Buffalo
Prediction: 8-8
Current Record: 0-8
Comment: Best 0-8 team ever? Technically not mathematically impossible? Yeah, I know, FAIL!
NFC West
San Francisco
Prediction: 10-6
Current Record: 2-6
Comment: Don’t think anybody saw this coming.
Arizona
Prediction: 7-9
Current Record: 3-5
Comment: Here’s to cheap Cardinals tickets readily available during my holiday trips!
Seattle
Prediction: 4-12
Current Record: 4-4
Comment: In my defense, they do suck. They just suck selectively.
St. Louis
Prediction: 3-13
Current Record: 4-4
Comment: Ceiling was low, what a pleasant surprise, it’s fun to be a Rams fan again! Here’s hoping they can take this crap division.
NFC South
New Orleans
Prediction: 12-4
Current Record: 6-3
Comment: Had them at 8-1 through 9 weeks, but the slate of tough road games I brought up (@DAL, @BAL, @ATL, @CIN) is looking quite a bit friendlier.
Atlanta
Prediction: 10-6
Current Record: 7-2
Comment: Convoluted theory of mine about blowing the playoffs in the final week no longer in play.
Carolina
Prediction: 6-10
Current Record: 1-7
Comment: They get a “meh” and no more
Tampa Bay
Prediction: 1-15
Current Record: 5-3
Comment: Dear Josh Freeman, I don’t watch Kansas St. football, and Bucs games were never on TV last year, how was I to know? But now I see the error of my ways and would like to say, I’m sorry. Your pal, Pat.
NFC North
Green Bay
Prediction: 12-4
Current Record: 6-3
Comment: Another team doing an impressive job of weathering the storm, right on track with 7 to play.
Minnesota
Prediction: 10-6
Current Record: 3-5
Comment: Murphy can take his Law and shove it up his ***
Chicago
Prediction: 8-8
Current Record: 5-3
Comment: Good one here. “This season will tell us with some certainty whether Jay Cutler is actually good, or if he was just being propped up by Brandon Marshall, we shall see.” I still have no clue, can I say both?
Detroit
Prediction: 5-11
Current Record: 2-6
Comment: Yikes. “Matthew Stafford will suffer a career-threatening in Game 1 of the 2012 season” Doubtful he makes it that far.
NFC East
Dallas
Prediction: 11-5
Current Record: 1-7
Comment: Why wait until the postseason to completely fall apart? Many thanks for taking a bit of the focus off the Vikings season, otherwise it would be unbearable.
New York Giants
Prediction: 10-6
Current Record: 1-7
Comment: Feelin alright here
Philadelphia
Prediction: 9-7
Current Record: 5-3
Comment: High comedy here, wrong, wrong and wrong. “I’m a Kevin Kolb believer, but still think the Eagles running game is going to lack something fierce with LeSean McCoy as its top back. Just didn’t see anything out of him last year that made me think he’s going to get better, and if he can’t pickup blitzes in this offense, get ready for a lot of Leonard Weaver.”
Washington
Prediction: 6-10
Current Record: 4-4
Comment: Nailed it “Couple epic McNabb performances, he beats Philly once, misses some games due to injury, same as it ever was"
Won't bother with Super Bowl predictions, because everything is a mess at this point, even Vegas has a logjam of a bunch of teams at 7/8-1, no clear favorite emerging. Getting to be one of the schizophrenic seasons in recent memory. I mean if somebody offered you a million dollars to pick a winner, but the downside was they got to shoot you in the head if you were wrong, would you take it? If so, how many teams could you trust? Ponder this highly plausible situation for awhile, while I make my Week 10 picks.
Last week: 7-5-1
Overall: 52-47-3
You've heard of the Pros from Dover? Well these are the Pretenders from Denver, two chumps who thought they could out-pick the master. I trounced them last week, this week one of them got the better of me and the other tied. Someone must've tampered with my thumbwarmer, it will not happen again.
BenLast week: 8-3-1 (Didn't pick the Jets-Lions, should probably get a loss for it, but I'm a nice guy)
Overall: 16-8-1
Brent
Last week: 7-5-1
Overall: 14-11-1
Missed the game last night, too bad because I would've won...at least as far as you know.
Detroit +3 over BUFFALO
New York Jets -3 over CLEVELAND
INDIANAPOLIS -7 over Cincinnati
TAMPA BAY -7 over Carolina
Houston +1 over JACKSONVILLE
Tennessee -2 over MIAMI
CHICAGO +1.5 over Minnesota
Kansas City -1 over DENVER
St Louis +6 over SAN FRANCISCO
Seattle +3 over ARIZONA
Dallas +14 over NEW YORK GIANTS
New England +4.5 over PITTSBURGH
Philadelphia -3 over WASHINGTON
There are 13 of them Ben.
But what give every armchair analyst out there the impression that they could step in for the guy on the radio is hearing statements like the one I just mentioned. I might not be a pro here, but I have been paying close enough attention over the last decade to realize that the idea of a Viking blowout in Soldier Field would be pretty damned unique. Anything is possible, but I would love to ask the guy what gives him that impression. A 5-minute flourish against a terrible Cardinal team? The fact that the defensive end who singlehandedly destroyed a much better Vikings squad at Carolina last year is now residing in Chicago? (If this game was at the Dome, I’d suggest handing out pairs of Bryant McKinnie novelty roller skates to the first 10,000 fans) Or is it just the stellar history the Vikings are bringing with them to town? I’d suggest renaming Soldier Field “Metrodome South”, but only if the South is intended as a reference to hell.
In the last decade of facing the Bears on the road, Minnesota has crafted a gaudy 2-8 record. The last one, 34-31 in 2007, could not exactly be termed a cakewalk, as it required 224 rushing (at the time a team record) and 361 all-purpose (3rd most in NFL history) from Adrian Peterson to get it done. You recall that game, it took a 70-yard kick return with a minute left to set up the winning FG, quite the thrashing indeed. Before that? Roll back the clock to 2000 and the high-flying Vertical Vikes of the Randy Moss Era (do I need to clarify that I mean the first one ?), which seems like a lifetime ago. Those were the days.
So to recap, one 3-point win in the last nine games, and getting it took one of the great individual efforts in the history of football. Seems like a recipe for a blowout to me, how about you? And sure, you can say the Bears had some pretty good teams during that stretch, great D early in the decade, went to a Super Bowl. But I will see that defense and raise you Jim Miller, Kordell Stewart, Rex Grossman, Chad Hutchinson, Jonathan Quinn, Kyle Orton (rookie version) and Craig Krenzel. Heck, even Moses Moreno might’ve started one of those games for all I know. Should’ve been able to manage more than one win on their turf, and that’s why I think there’s something more cosmic going on here. They may eek out a win, but a blowout? Don’t make me laugh.
Although I will say if AP goes for 361 all-purpose, I think we win handily. Just throwing that out there. Sometimes you’ve gotta be bold.
Speaking of reflecting back, we’re heading into Week 10, and most teams have half their season in the books. Seems like a good time to see how my NFL preview is panning out.
AFC West
San Diego
Prediction: 9-7
Current Record: 4-5
Comment: I said the early season slate looked easy, forgot that Norv Turner teams don’t starting playing until October. Guess we all have memory lapses once in awhile.
Kansas City
Prediction: 9-7
Current Record: 5-3
Comment: Loving this! The Official 2010 Sleeper of Loserville is making things happen, and the sked looks favorable from here, keeping the fingers crossed.
Oakland
Prediction: 6-10
Current Record: 5-4
Comment: Blinded by Jason Campbell and never even saw the league’s scariest running game north of Houston coming. Campbell’s been pretty solid too, but when every safety takes two steps forward at the snap, a lot of mediocre QBs can look great. Just not T-Jack.
Denver
Prediction: 5-11
Current Record: 2-6
Comment: Are who I thought they were. Now roll Tebow out there to get pummeled so we can put this whole “I’m a quarterback!” farce behind us and see what he can do at H-back next year.
AFC South
Indianapolis
Prediction: 12-4
Current Record: 5-3
Comment: Stormy seas thus far, but I stand by my initial assessment…well maybe a couple more paces to the right of it, but in the same general vicinity
Houston
Prediction: 10-6
Current Record: 4-4
Comment: Hmm, got roped in by the Houston hype again, felt good about this a month in, now not so much. Still, beat Denver, Jacksonville twice, split with Tennessee…and then you only have to get two of @PHI, @NYJ, vsBAL, @TEN? Yeah, maybe the playoffs aren’t happening after all.
Tennessee
Prediction: 8-8
Current Record: 5-3
Comment: I’m claiming victory on my Expectations > Vince Young take from the preseason, as he’s been missed games due to both injury and ineffectiveness this season. Sure he’s 3-2 and sporting a 103.1 passer rating, but he still plays from the sandlot “one-big heave” school of quarterbacking, as evident by his 10-21/253/2 TDs line last week. The Titans still haven’t faced Indy, and I think they’ve still got it in them to blow it.
Jacksonville
Prediction: 7-9
Current Record: 4-4
Comment: With how bad they’ve looked at times, it’s pretty jarring to check out the standings and see them at 4-4. My brain has trouble reconciling it, every time I hear someone mention them as still being in the hunt, I’m momentarily confused. And the I remember this is a bizarre year where the Parity Monster is running amok.
AFC North
Baltimore
Prediction: 11-5
Current Record: 6-3
Comment: Shouldn’t have lost last night, but still seems okay. Double the opposition’s best WR in the last minute fellas, free advice from me to you.
Cincinnati
Prediction: 8-8
Current Record: 2-6
Comment: Was getting bad vibes off them in the preseason, should’ve picked them lower, oh well
Pittsburgh
Prediction: 7-9
Current Record: 6-2
Comment: An excerpt from my preview: “I’m feeling a down year for the Steelers. I’m well aware that this is the pick most likely to make me look stupid though, they’re a scrappy team going back as far as I can remember.” Sometimes, deep down, you know, but for some reason you don’t acknowledge that part of you that knows something. That’s probably about the time you start expecting the Vikings to blow out the Bears at Soldier Field.
Cleveland
Prediction: 3-13
Current Record: 3-5
Comment: Happy to be proven wrong here, next to the Chiefs and Raiders resurgence, a competent (could even call the dangerous) Browns team is my favorite storyline of 2010.
AFC East
New England
Prediction: 11-5
Current Record: 6-2
Comment: Return to glory? Check. Huge year for the Brady-Moss connection? Not so much.
New York Jets
Prediction: 9-7
Current Record: 6-2
Comment: Preseason quote #2, “Replacing Thomas Jones with LaDanian Tomlinson was a mistake in my mind, nobody ever wants Jones, but all he does is produce.” Also called them overhyped. Whoops.
Miami
Prediction: 9-7
Current Record: 4-4
Comment: MAKE THE EVIL VOICES STOP!!! “Very excited for the Chad Henne Era now that Brandon Marshall is in the fold”
Buffalo
Prediction: 8-8
Current Record: 0-8
Comment: Best 0-8 team ever? Technically not mathematically impossible? Yeah, I know, FAIL!
NFC West
San Francisco
Prediction: 10-6
Current Record: 2-6
Comment: Don’t think anybody saw this coming.
Arizona
Prediction: 7-9
Current Record: 3-5
Comment: Here’s to cheap Cardinals tickets readily available during my holiday trips!
Seattle
Prediction: 4-12
Current Record: 4-4
Comment: In my defense, they do suck. They just suck selectively.
St. Louis
Prediction: 3-13
Current Record: 4-4
Comment: Ceiling was low, what a pleasant surprise, it’s fun to be a Rams fan again! Here’s hoping they can take this crap division.
NFC South
New Orleans
Prediction: 12-4
Current Record: 6-3
Comment: Had them at 8-1 through 9 weeks, but the slate of tough road games I brought up (@DAL, @BAL, @ATL, @CIN) is looking quite a bit friendlier.
Atlanta
Prediction: 10-6
Current Record: 7-2
Comment: Convoluted theory of mine about blowing the playoffs in the final week no longer in play.
Carolina
Prediction: 6-10
Current Record: 1-7
Comment: They get a “meh” and no more
Tampa Bay
Prediction: 1-15
Current Record: 5-3
Comment: Dear Josh Freeman, I don’t watch Kansas St. football, and Bucs games were never on TV last year, how was I to know? But now I see the error of my ways and would like to say, I’m sorry. Your pal, Pat.
NFC North
Green Bay
Prediction: 12-4
Current Record: 6-3
Comment: Another team doing an impressive job of weathering the storm, right on track with 7 to play.
Minnesota
Prediction: 10-6
Current Record: 3-5
Comment: Murphy can take his Law and shove it up his ***
Chicago
Prediction: 8-8
Current Record: 5-3
Comment: Good one here. “This season will tell us with some certainty whether Jay Cutler is actually good, or if he was just being propped up by Brandon Marshall, we shall see.” I still have no clue, can I say both?
Detroit
Prediction: 5-11
Current Record: 2-6
Comment: Yikes. “Matthew Stafford will suffer a career-threatening in Game 1 of the 2012 season” Doubtful he makes it that far.
NFC East
Dallas
Prediction: 11-5
Current Record: 1-7
Comment: Why wait until the postseason to completely fall apart? Many thanks for taking a bit of the focus off the Vikings season, otherwise it would be unbearable.
New York Giants
Prediction: 10-6
Current Record: 1-7
Comment: Feelin alright here
Philadelphia
Prediction: 9-7
Current Record: 5-3
Comment: High comedy here, wrong, wrong and wrong. “I’m a Kevin Kolb believer, but still think the Eagles running game is going to lack something fierce with LeSean McCoy as its top back. Just didn’t see anything out of him last year that made me think he’s going to get better, and if he can’t pickup blitzes in this offense, get ready for a lot of Leonard Weaver.”
Washington
Prediction: 6-10
Current Record: 4-4
Comment: Nailed it “Couple epic McNabb performances, he beats Philly once, misses some games due to injury, same as it ever was"
Won't bother with Super Bowl predictions, because everything is a mess at this point, even Vegas has a logjam of a bunch of teams at 7/8-1, no clear favorite emerging. Getting to be one of the schizophrenic seasons in recent memory. I mean if somebody offered you a million dollars to pick a winner, but the downside was they got to shoot you in the head if you were wrong, would you take it? If so, how many teams could you trust? Ponder this highly plausible situation for awhile, while I make my Week 10 picks.
Last week: 7-5-1
Overall: 52-47-3
You've heard of the Pros from Dover? Well these are the Pretenders from Denver, two chumps who thought they could out-pick the master. I trounced them last week, this week one of them got the better of me and the other tied. Someone must've tampered with my thumbwarmer, it will not happen again.
BenLast week: 8-3-1 (Didn't pick the Jets-Lions, should probably get a loss for it, but I'm a nice guy)
Overall: 16-8-1
Brent
Last week: 7-5-1
Overall: 14-11-1
Missed the game last night, too bad because I would've won...at least as far as you know.
Detroit +3 over BUFFALO
New York Jets -3 over CLEVELAND
INDIANAPOLIS -7 over Cincinnati
TAMPA BAY -7 over Carolina
Houston +1 over JACKSONVILLE
Tennessee -2 over MIAMI
CHICAGO +1.5 over Minnesota
Kansas City -1 over DENVER
St Louis +6 over SAN FRANCISCO
Seattle +3 over ARIZONA
Dallas +14 over NEW YORK GIANTS
New England +4.5 over PITTSBURGH
Philadelphia -3 over WASHINGTON
There are 13 of them Ben.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Limbo, Tebow, and other tragedies of the human condition
The third dictionary definition of the word limbo, following the religious and beach party game versions, is "an intermediate, transitional, or midway state or place". This is where we sit currently, similar to the middle of the baseball season. Sure there's a lot going on: football, hockey, basketball; it's just that none of it has much gravity at the moment. Either the season is two weeks old, the local team was out of contention long ago or, in the case of the one thing that should matter, the writing is on the wall. And it's printed in indelible ink.
This was supposed to be the time of year when a potential championship football team (no, not talking about the Gophers) was working it's fanbase into a lather with thoughts of division championships and playoff seedings. Unfortunately it's been anything but a smooth ride, and unless you want to delude yourself, hopes of a Super Bowl are officially dead. Even making the playoffs at this point seems a tall order. The NFC West champ will take one spot, there are currently four 6-win NFC teams and beyond that three 5-win squads. Throw out the Bears and Bucs from the 5-win group, and the Vikes will still have to leapfrog Philadelphia to grab the 6th spot. The good news is they play the Eagles head-to-head, controlling their own destiny; the bad news, that game is on the road, where the Purple is 1-9 over it's last 10 games.
But as I've said many times before, it's a funny league, so let's let's give them the benefit of the doubt and a playoff berth. What are we supposed to do about the aforementioned woes on the road? Playoffs would be nice, and you never know how they will shake out (unless of course T-Jack is involved), but can they even go on the road and beat a single playoff team, never mind three in a row? By my count that's happened a total of twice in the past two and a half seasons: Green Bay in Week 8 last year and a checked-out Arizona team in Week 15 of 2008 (otherwise known as the T-Jack Fluke 4-TD Game). The track record doesn't inspire great confidence that this operation can somehow find a way to string together a Super Bowl run from the Wild Card spot.
So why not just think division championship and avoid all that you say? Well that's certainly a nice thought, but sitting 2 1/2 games behind the Packers for the division lead, that's going to take some doing. I had the Vikings finishing with a 10-6 record after going 4-4 through the season's first half, but their long-term health is a bit worse than I expected, and frankly that one loss is looming pretty huge. 4-4 at this point would mean 6-2 down the stretch gets it done, assuming the remaining losses are outside the division. Now, one has to assume that Green Bay is good for at least 10 wins with their remaining schedule, and that likely means 7-1 is the only way to avoid the road throughout. Not much margin for error there, especially when you consider the key pieces still missing from this team, and they fact they needed a miraculous comeback to save their season against a horsebleep Arizona team last Sunday. There's just not much to talk about right now, winning is simply surviving, call me when you're back over .500 and perhaps I can muster a bit of hope.
Confronting this reality has got me a bit cranky, and when that happens, I finds it's best to head to the complaint department and vent on a couple things that are sticking in my craw:
The death of Sunday Night Football.
The rhythm of the football viewing day was already significantly damaged when NFL Primetime moved from it's perfect Sunday format to the oddly placed Monday version. That show's value was in the fact that it provided the perfect breather from the afternoon action and bridge into the evening, recapping anything you'd missed throughout the day while previewing what was upcoming. The emphasis was constantly on the field of play, with brief bits of reaction as follow up. You could keep tabs on it while cooking dinner, folding laundry, or whatever other mundane task needed to be completed before you started your week, and still follow things perfectly.
Now? Football Night in America (a fittingly terrible title for a terrible show) has totally wrecked that vibe. Between the monologues, human interest stories, interviews and NFL insider mumbo-jumbo, I have absolutely no idea what's going on. Gone are the slickly packaged highlights hitting rapid-fire, replaced by the long-winded ramblings of Bob Costas on lord knows what. I like Costas in certain spots, he can call my baseball games any time, and I hear he does a solid job with the Olympics, but since when does he have anything relevant to say about football beyond "and it looks like the Dolphins will be forced to punt"?
What is this line of thinking that everything in sports needs greater context now? When did the game itself stop being a good enough story? You want to wax poetic on the grand old history of the game of baseball Bob, that's fine, I might not like it, but at least it fits. What doesn't fit is a midget in a blazer giving me a 5-minute speech on the motivations of an NFL football team. I'm sure Costas is a fine human being, but he strikes me as the kind of guy who thinks people care more about what he has to say than the subject he's discussing. Perhaps most viewers are fans, but if so, they must be concentrated outside of everyone I know. The general consensus seems to agree he's pretty well-described by a line from the movie Tommy Boy, "You're a smug, unhappy little man who treats people like they're idiots". Good announcer, bad commentator. Too harsh a critique perhaps, but he hates people like me anyway, so I don't think I'm losing a potential golfing buddy here.
And if it were only one annoying segment, that could be overcome. Problem is, that's just the tip of the iceberg. It's gotten to the point where nothing from this show could surprise me. Story on how the Giants D-line is fighting childhood obesity with a charity cookbook? Check. Feature on the offseason camel excursion Nnamdi Asomugha took across the deserts of Dubai? Why not. Peter King discussing inkblots that remind him of Brett Favre with a psychologist? Roll tape. Meanwhile, I'm just thinking, PLAY THE HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE BUCS GAME FOR F**KS SAKE!!!
You want to say I should change the channel? Fine, put Primetime back on in it's old format and I will be ever so happy to do so. The problem is that NBC assassinated the best highlight show on TV in order to get a monopoly on Sunday night, so now we get Primetime Lite with it's nuts cut off on Mondays, after you've already spent a day seeing/reading every twist and turn that took place. And if the argument is this stuff is watered down because they're being forced to fill time, then start the damn games at 7:00 so I can get to bed before midnight.
One rant down, moving on to...
That's enough Tim Tebow
Full disclosure, I've never liked Tim Tebow. I hate the Florida Gators, most running QBs (transcendant exceptions like Michael Vick aside) and players whose aliterative names compel announcers to use both first and last every time they reference them, so natural. Successful wacky spread offenses in college football beget more wacky spread offenses, and pretty soon before you know it, we end up with a professional league full of Alex Smiths.
Urban Meyer had already unleashed his first plauge on my favorite sports team, but doing it with the Utah Utes was somewhat foregivable (unless of course you happen to be a 49ers fan), due to their scrappiness and underdog status. With the move to Florida, a powerhouse at the top of my college football enemies list, I was pretty much locked into disliking anything he did. A bad situation then was compounded with the arrival of America's favorite boy scout on campus, a seemingly endless run of wins and another nail in the coffin of every QBs who could complete a 15-yard out.
Fact is, I was all ready to absolve Tebow of the blame here. After all, it was historical hatred of his university, his system and his cult, er fans, that really got under my skin. What blame could I really put on him for those things? I mean if you think about it, Steve Spurrier is more to blame for how I feel than Tim Tebow, he just showed up and played great football. Then the bomb dropped, he said he was still a virgin...and became truly hateable.
Now you know from my ramblings here that I'm no great shakes with the ladies. My favorite line ever on picking up women came from the movie "A Beautiful Mind", when Russel Crowe's character is trying to break the ice with a girl in a bar, and eventually says "I don't exactly know what I am required to say in order for you to have intercourse with me. But could we assume that I said all that?" I saw that and thought BRILLIANT! If only it were that easy! Well people, for Tim Tebow, for four years, ON THE UNIVERSITY OF FLORIDA CAMPUS OF ALL PLACES...it was just that easy. And he did nothing to take advantage of that. And that is not only indescribably sad, it is an affront to all men everywhere.
Now I'm not say you need to throw down every heifer and bar skank you run across, all of us have our limits (in theory). But when you're among an endless supply of beautiful and willing coeds, able to dictate terms and hold things to the utmost standard, yet choose to do nothing? Well I just don't understand that, I don't understand it at all. Furthermore, I refuse to do what they tell me I should do and applaud you for it, because it's just dumb. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. If you didn't at least use your campus juice to get your buddies laid, you sir are a horror of a human being. When Tim Tebow gets to heaven, God is going shrug and to tell him "You know Tim, you could've banged that cheerleader with the double Ds, no big deal. Tried to tell you, even sent her to your dorm room that night as a sign, sorry bro." And then Tim Tebow will know regret.
So sorry for harping on that, as it's old news, just gets hoppin mad every time I think about it. That was only the foundation of my Double T dislike, the newest reason is because, at the ripe old age of 23, is writing a memoir.
Now I get that fame only last for 15 minutes, and his best days as a football player are probably behind him. I also get that he's viewed by many as some kind of "Dalai Lama meets John Elway" prophet, but seriously, a memoir? Tebow's life story is certainly interesting: Son of missionaries, miracle baby, college football star, blue ball aficionado, but what exactly does the man have to say? At 23-years old, we're pretty much all optimists. Barring a major f**kup earlier in life (like jail time, or marriage), you've got all options open to you and nothing holding you back from whatever you want. Unless they've beaten cancer, escaped a genocide or persevered through some other great handicap, the wisdom of a 23-year old is neither profound nor helpful.
Give me the book by the guy who's been up, then down, then up again, and knows how to make it through those bad days, even if just barely. Give me the book by somebody who's had to do the truly hard work of guiding the life of another, rather than the comparatively easy job of just looking out for himself. Give me a true reflection on the complete picture that is a full life, not some ghost-written fluff tagged with the name of a kid a year out of college.
I usually hate the argument that a given age is required to do certain things, I find it closed-minded and usually incorrect. But in this case, I'm on the old side, you have to have a few years in before a memoir is acceptable. And yeah, I know people will buy it, but that doesn't make it relevant.
Perhaps Mr. Tebow's intentions are noble, and he honestly thinks he can help some folks out, maybe inspire a few lives or even donate a few bucks to charity. But I have to call it for what it seems to be on the surface, an attempt to cash in before his 15 minutes are up. Certainly nothing unique about that these days I suppose.
Still pisses me off though.
This was supposed to be the time of year when a potential championship football team (no, not talking about the Gophers) was working it's fanbase into a lather with thoughts of division championships and playoff seedings. Unfortunately it's been anything but a smooth ride, and unless you want to delude yourself, hopes of a Super Bowl are officially dead. Even making the playoffs at this point seems a tall order. The NFC West champ will take one spot, there are currently four 6-win NFC teams and beyond that three 5-win squads. Throw out the Bears and Bucs from the 5-win group, and the Vikes will still have to leapfrog Philadelphia to grab the 6th spot. The good news is they play the Eagles head-to-head, controlling their own destiny; the bad news, that game is on the road, where the Purple is 1-9 over it's last 10 games.
But as I've said many times before, it's a funny league, so let's let's give them the benefit of the doubt and a playoff berth. What are we supposed to do about the aforementioned woes on the road? Playoffs would be nice, and you never know how they will shake out (unless of course T-Jack is involved), but can they even go on the road and beat a single playoff team, never mind three in a row? By my count that's happened a total of twice in the past two and a half seasons: Green Bay in Week 8 last year and a checked-out Arizona team in Week 15 of 2008 (otherwise known as the T-Jack Fluke 4-TD Game). The track record doesn't inspire great confidence that this operation can somehow find a way to string together a Super Bowl run from the Wild Card spot.
So why not just think division championship and avoid all that you say? Well that's certainly a nice thought, but sitting 2 1/2 games behind the Packers for the division lead, that's going to take some doing. I had the Vikings finishing with a 10-6 record after going 4-4 through the season's first half, but their long-term health is a bit worse than I expected, and frankly that one loss is looming pretty huge. 4-4 at this point would mean 6-2 down the stretch gets it done, assuming the remaining losses are outside the division. Now, one has to assume that Green Bay is good for at least 10 wins with their remaining schedule, and that likely means 7-1 is the only way to avoid the road throughout. Not much margin for error there, especially when you consider the key pieces still missing from this team, and they fact they needed a miraculous comeback to save their season against a horsebleep Arizona team last Sunday. There's just not much to talk about right now, winning is simply surviving, call me when you're back over .500 and perhaps I can muster a bit of hope.
Confronting this reality has got me a bit cranky, and when that happens, I finds it's best to head to the complaint department and vent on a couple things that are sticking in my craw:
The death of Sunday Night Football.
The rhythm of the football viewing day was already significantly damaged when NFL Primetime moved from it's perfect Sunday format to the oddly placed Monday version. That show's value was in the fact that it provided the perfect breather from the afternoon action and bridge into the evening, recapping anything you'd missed throughout the day while previewing what was upcoming. The emphasis was constantly on the field of play, with brief bits of reaction as follow up. You could keep tabs on it while cooking dinner, folding laundry, or whatever other mundane task needed to be completed before you started your week, and still follow things perfectly.
Now? Football Night in America (a fittingly terrible title for a terrible show) has totally wrecked that vibe. Between the monologues, human interest stories, interviews and NFL insider mumbo-jumbo, I have absolutely no idea what's going on. Gone are the slickly packaged highlights hitting rapid-fire, replaced by the long-winded ramblings of Bob Costas on lord knows what. I like Costas in certain spots, he can call my baseball games any time, and I hear he does a solid job with the Olympics, but since when does he have anything relevant to say about football beyond "and it looks like the Dolphins will be forced to punt"?
What is this line of thinking that everything in sports needs greater context now? When did the game itself stop being a good enough story? You want to wax poetic on the grand old history of the game of baseball Bob, that's fine, I might not like it, but at least it fits. What doesn't fit is a midget in a blazer giving me a 5-minute speech on the motivations of an NFL football team. I'm sure Costas is a fine human being, but he strikes me as the kind of guy who thinks people care more about what he has to say than the subject he's discussing. Perhaps most viewers are fans, but if so, they must be concentrated outside of everyone I know. The general consensus seems to agree he's pretty well-described by a line from the movie Tommy Boy, "You're a smug, unhappy little man who treats people like they're idiots". Good announcer, bad commentator. Too harsh a critique perhaps, but he hates people like me anyway, so I don't think I'm losing a potential golfing buddy here.
And if it were only one annoying segment, that could be overcome. Problem is, that's just the tip of the iceberg. It's gotten to the point where nothing from this show could surprise me. Story on how the Giants D-line is fighting childhood obesity with a charity cookbook? Check. Feature on the offseason camel excursion Nnamdi Asomugha took across the deserts of Dubai? Why not. Peter King discussing inkblots that remind him of Brett Favre with a psychologist? Roll tape. Meanwhile, I'm just thinking, PLAY THE HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE BUCS GAME FOR F**KS SAKE!!!
You want to say I should change the channel? Fine, put Primetime back on in it's old format and I will be ever so happy to do so. The problem is that NBC assassinated the best highlight show on TV in order to get a monopoly on Sunday night, so now we get Primetime Lite with it's nuts cut off on Mondays, after you've already spent a day seeing/reading every twist and turn that took place. And if the argument is this stuff is watered down because they're being forced to fill time, then start the damn games at 7:00 so I can get to bed before midnight.
One rant down, moving on to...
That's enough Tim Tebow
Full disclosure, I've never liked Tim Tebow. I hate the Florida Gators, most running QBs (transcendant exceptions like Michael Vick aside) and players whose aliterative names compel announcers to use both first and last every time they reference them, so natural. Successful wacky spread offenses in college football beget more wacky spread offenses, and pretty soon before you know it, we end up with a professional league full of Alex Smiths.
Urban Meyer had already unleashed his first plauge on my favorite sports team, but doing it with the Utah Utes was somewhat foregivable (unless of course you happen to be a 49ers fan), due to their scrappiness and underdog status. With the move to Florida, a powerhouse at the top of my college football enemies list, I was pretty much locked into disliking anything he did. A bad situation then was compounded with the arrival of America's favorite boy scout on campus, a seemingly endless run of wins and another nail in the coffin of every QBs who could complete a 15-yard out.
Fact is, I was all ready to absolve Tebow of the blame here. After all, it was historical hatred of his university, his system and his cult, er fans, that really got under my skin. What blame could I really put on him for those things? I mean if you think about it, Steve Spurrier is more to blame for how I feel than Tim Tebow, he just showed up and played great football. Then the bomb dropped, he said he was still a virgin...and became truly hateable.
Now you know from my ramblings here that I'm no great shakes with the ladies. My favorite line ever on picking up women came from the movie "A Beautiful Mind", when Russel Crowe's character is trying to break the ice with a girl in a bar, and eventually says "I don't exactly know what I am required to say in order for you to have intercourse with me. But could we assume that I said all that?" I saw that and thought BRILLIANT! If only it were that easy! Well people, for Tim Tebow, for four years, ON THE UNIVERSITY OF FLORIDA CAMPUS OF ALL PLACES...it was just that easy. And he did nothing to take advantage of that. And that is not only indescribably sad, it is an affront to all men everywhere.
Now I'm not say you need to throw down every heifer and bar skank you run across, all of us have our limits (in theory). But when you're among an endless supply of beautiful and willing coeds, able to dictate terms and hold things to the utmost standard, yet choose to do nothing? Well I just don't understand that, I don't understand it at all. Furthermore, I refuse to do what they tell me I should do and applaud you for it, because it's just dumb. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. If you didn't at least use your campus juice to get your buddies laid, you sir are a horror of a human being. When Tim Tebow gets to heaven, God is going shrug and to tell him "You know Tim, you could've banged that cheerleader with the double Ds, no big deal. Tried to tell you, even sent her to your dorm room that night as a sign, sorry bro." And then Tim Tebow will know regret.
So sorry for harping on that, as it's old news, just gets hoppin mad every time I think about it. That was only the foundation of my Double T dislike, the newest reason is because, at the ripe old age of 23, is writing a memoir.
Now I get that fame only last for 15 minutes, and his best days as a football player are probably behind him. I also get that he's viewed by many as some kind of "Dalai Lama meets John Elway" prophet, but seriously, a memoir? Tebow's life story is certainly interesting: Son of missionaries, miracle baby, college football star, blue ball aficionado, but what exactly does the man have to say? At 23-years old, we're pretty much all optimists. Barring a major f**kup earlier in life (like jail time, or marriage), you've got all options open to you and nothing holding you back from whatever you want. Unless they've beaten cancer, escaped a genocide or persevered through some other great handicap, the wisdom of a 23-year old is neither profound nor helpful.
Give me the book by the guy who's been up, then down, then up again, and knows how to make it through those bad days, even if just barely. Give me the book by somebody who's had to do the truly hard work of guiding the life of another, rather than the comparatively easy job of just looking out for himself. Give me a true reflection on the complete picture that is a full life, not some ghost-written fluff tagged with the name of a kid a year out of college.
I usually hate the argument that a given age is required to do certain things, I find it closed-minded and usually incorrect. But in this case, I'm on the old side, you have to have a few years in before a memoir is acceptable. And yeah, I know people will buy it, but that doesn't make it relevant.
Perhaps Mr. Tebow's intentions are noble, and he honestly thinks he can help some folks out, maybe inspire a few lives or even donate a few bucks to charity. But I have to call it for what it seems to be on the surface, an attempt to cash in before his 15 minutes are up. Certainly nothing unique about that these days I suppose.
Still pisses me off though.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Quick picks
Last week: 9-4
Season: 45-42-2
TB +8.5 over ATL
NE -5 over CLE
HOU +3 over SD
MIA +5 over BAL
NYJ -5 over DET
ARI +8 over MIN
BUF +3 over CHI
NO -7 over CAR
SEA +7 over NYG
OAK pick over KC
IND +3 over PHI
GB -7.5 over DAL
PIT -5 over DAL
Season: 45-42-2
TB +8.5 over ATL
NE -5 over CLE
HOU +3 over SD
MIA +5 over BAL
NYJ -5 over DET
ARI +8 over MIN
BUF +3 over CHI
NO -7 over CAR
SEA +7 over NYG
OAK pick over KC
IND +3 over PHI
GB -7.5 over DAL
PIT -5 over DAL
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Election 2010: Ask not what you can do for Loserville, but what Loserville can do for you! And you know, we'll get right on that...
With all the recent Vikings-related hubub I completely forgot that we've got an election on our hands and my post as mayor of this accursed burg hangs in the balance. Fortunately the required campaigning should be minimal, since I'm running unopposed. Not surprisingly, this post is coveted by few. But hey we at least have to do go through the ritual, right? So here's the old platform for your consideration.
For those not well acquainted with my record, I've been a permanent resident of Loserville for the last decade, after spending parts of my youth abroad in Seriestown and attending college in Frozenfourburgh. However, instead of infusing a general optimism into my sports outlook, these early successes only served to rope me in completely to the euphoria that a championship team can bring. I bought into the sportsfan ethic hook, line and sinker, confident that more happy days were surely just around the corner.
The ensuing 10 years of brutal pummeling at every turn in my existence of a fan has left me with a smoldering crust of bitterness caked around my heart, like molten lava that has cooled from a volcano or queso left in the microwave too long. Although I make occasional frays into the realm of positivity, typically in the early days of a fresh season or playoff "run", I'm generally incapable of expecting anything positive from the sports realm, and spend my days perpetually waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Now as we've discussed before, you may be asking, why are you still here? Why not spare yourself (and those of us that have to be in your immediate presence) the anguish of all this? The answer to that question is two-fold. First, I just don't have a lot going on. Not a big fan of movies, theater, bird watching, bug collecting, gardening beyond basic lawncare. No interest in camping or stamping (although I think we all enjoy the occasional bit of tramping, amiright?), not a biker or hiker, rather drink a beer than shoot a deer (so fishing is a thumbs up, I suppose). The point is this is what I do, I follow sports, and I opine on them...poorly perhaps, but you get what you pay for.
But believe me when I tell ya, you want me on that wall folks, you need me on that wall. I'm that guy in the office with an opinion on everything (whether you want to hear it or not), that buddy who's always game to watch the game, no matter who's playing or what they're playing (within reason of course, nothing involving ladies or an excessive amount of foreigners). Basically I'm here offering what little value I have in exchange for no value whatsoever, which is a great deal any way you slice it! All I ask is for your vote, and the occasional acknowledgment of something you find funny, bizarre, etc. in my ramblings. Even if that acknowledgement takes the form of a look of bewilderment, followed by the phrase "You're a weird dude". Obviously we're all about low standards here in Loserville.
But as part of the ongoing quest for improvement in said standards, I offer you my personal pledge that the next two years will be a better two years out of this blog in terms of content. Unfortunately I can't make that same guarantee as far as on the field performance, but until that part of the puzzle falls into place, I'll be with you every step of the way. With more T-Jack and Scott Baker rips, more midseason pronouncements of doom, more hope to sell in the preseason and vitriol to spew in the post, that I can promise.
When Brett Favre finally retires, hopefully with the words "Hey y'all, that was my c*ck, I'm out!", I'll be there. When Brad Childress coaches his last game for the Vikings, presumably just before being torn limb-from-limb by an angry mob, I'll be there. When Nick Punto plays his last game in a Twins uniform, because the police finally find the small room under his house where he's been holding Gardy's wife captive, I'll be there. When Ricky Rubio is standing next to David Stern, hoisting the NBA Championship trophy as his Knicks jersey gets doused with champagne...like I said, positivity is a work in progress.
I may not make it to the mountaintop with you, but I'm going to keep hanging in there, hoping that one of these years is truly our year...well you know, unless the cops find me dangling from the rafters in the garage, with a makeshift noose fashioned out of Homer Hankies and Howl Towels, following a Hail Mary loss in an NFC Championship game.
(Note to self: New Year's resolution #1 - Lose enough weight to ensure makeshift noose of Homer Hankies and Howl Towels holds...then again if it snaps, the Twins will actually have a playoff save to their credit.)
Anyway, Vote Voltin! I'll buy you a beer!
For those not well acquainted with my record, I've been a permanent resident of Loserville for the last decade, after spending parts of my youth abroad in Seriestown and attending college in Frozenfourburgh. However, instead of infusing a general optimism into my sports outlook, these early successes only served to rope me in completely to the euphoria that a championship team can bring. I bought into the sportsfan ethic hook, line and sinker, confident that more happy days were surely just around the corner.
The ensuing 10 years of brutal pummeling at every turn in my existence of a fan has left me with a smoldering crust of bitterness caked around my heart, like molten lava that has cooled from a volcano or queso left in the microwave too long. Although I make occasional frays into the realm of positivity, typically in the early days of a fresh season or playoff "run", I'm generally incapable of expecting anything positive from the sports realm, and spend my days perpetually waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Now as we've discussed before, you may be asking, why are you still here? Why not spare yourself (and those of us that have to be in your immediate presence) the anguish of all this? The answer to that question is two-fold. First, I just don't have a lot going on. Not a big fan of movies, theater, bird watching, bug collecting, gardening beyond basic lawncare. No interest in camping or stamping (although I think we all enjoy the occasional bit of tramping, amiright?), not a biker or hiker, rather drink a beer than shoot a deer (so fishing is a thumbs up, I suppose). The point is this is what I do, I follow sports, and I opine on them...poorly perhaps, but you get what you pay for.
But believe me when I tell ya, you want me on that wall folks, you need me on that wall. I'm that guy in the office with an opinion on everything (whether you want to hear it or not), that buddy who's always game to watch the game, no matter who's playing or what they're playing (within reason of course, nothing involving ladies or an excessive amount of foreigners). Basically I'm here offering what little value I have in exchange for no value whatsoever, which is a great deal any way you slice it! All I ask is for your vote, and the occasional acknowledgment of something you find funny, bizarre, etc. in my ramblings. Even if that acknowledgement takes the form of a look of bewilderment, followed by the phrase "You're a weird dude". Obviously we're all about low standards here in Loserville.
But as part of the ongoing quest for improvement in said standards, I offer you my personal pledge that the next two years will be a better two years out of this blog in terms of content. Unfortunately I can't make that same guarantee as far as on the field performance, but until that part of the puzzle falls into place, I'll be with you every step of the way. With more T-Jack and Scott Baker rips, more midseason pronouncements of doom, more hope to sell in the preseason and vitriol to spew in the post, that I can promise.
When Brett Favre finally retires, hopefully with the words "Hey y'all, that was my c*ck, I'm out!", I'll be there. When Brad Childress coaches his last game for the Vikings, presumably just before being torn limb-from-limb by an angry mob, I'll be there. When Nick Punto plays his last game in a Twins uniform, because the police finally find the small room under his house where he's been holding Gardy's wife captive, I'll be there. When Ricky Rubio is standing next to David Stern, hoisting the NBA Championship trophy as his Knicks jersey gets doused with champagne...like I said, positivity is a work in progress.
I may not make it to the mountaintop with you, but I'm going to keep hanging in there, hoping that one of these years is truly our year...well you know, unless the cops find me dangling from the rafters in the garage, with a makeshift noose fashioned out of Homer Hankies and Howl Towels, following a Hail Mary loss in an NFC Championship game.
(Note to self: New Year's resolution #1 - Lose enough weight to ensure makeshift noose of Homer Hankies and Howl Towels holds...then again if it snaps, the Twins will actually have a playoff save to their credit.)
Anyway, Vote Voltin! I'll buy you a beer!
Monday, November 1, 2010
Going down with the ship
Stop me if you've heard this one before: It's a very disappointing season to be a fan of the Minnesota Vikings.
Seven games into a highly-anticipated year, the USS Viking is taking on water in ever-increasing quantities. Yesterday's loss left the team sitting at 2-5 and you'd be hard pressed to come up with any positives from the team's play. The quarterback was a bit better, but the receivers couldn't get open with enough frequency or hold onto the ball when they did. The defensive backfield played better than I anticipated, but that's likely the result of a gameplan focused on minimizing risk. As a result, the pass rush was nonexistent and Tom Brady had all the time he needed to chuck the ball around.
Now the schedule softens up considerably, but there is no indication that any turnaround is about to occur, at least not one of the magnitude need to reach 9-10 win neighborhood needed for the playoffs. Popular opinion has long held that the Vikings winning ways of the last few years were accomplished more IN SPITE of their coaching than BECAUSE of it. While I've tried to give Brad Childress the benefit of the doubt, pointing out that winning in the NFL is no easy task, things are starting to wear thin. It's the easiest thing in the world to throw everything at the feet of the coach when tough scheduling, injuries and just plain bad luck, so I'm trying not to be knee-jerk...but he's lost me.
There's no one among us who'd call him a great tactician, despite what we were told upon his arrival about the game plans he crafted in Philadelphia. There's no one who'd call him an inspiring or colorful leader, given his monotone press conferences and generally flavorless appearance. And he is certainly not the quarterback guru that some (most notably himself) appeared to think that he was, look no further than the ongoing charade that is Tavaris Jackson. But what you could say about Chilly is: He had control of the room.
In the game of ego management and millionaire motivation, key to any professional sports endeavor, Brad Childress seemed to know how to push the right buttons to keep his teams focused and ready to play. One can't overlook the huge upgrade in resources he had over his predecessors, or the self-inflicted wounds that his ego inflicted on offense by remaining undermanned at QB, but at least you could say he knew how to work with what he had. Over the last season and a half, that reputation has been turned on it's head, because like most of us fans out there, Chilly got desparate.
It started with Favre, and the new set of rules that were crafted for him. Continued into the swing for the fences that was Randy Moss this season. And it almost worked. Unfortunately the history books are packed with near-misses, and with today's release of Moss, following his press conference tirade after yesterday's game, the chickens have truly come home to roost. I don't know who made the call on bringing him back, but based on what has happened since he returned, Childress must've been strong-armed. You have to be one of two things to think that using Randy as a decoy was going to end in harmony: Naive or stupid. Contrary to popular opinion, I do not think Brad Childress is stupid, so I'm rather befuddled here.
I mean alert the media, Randy Moss went off in a press conference, why should this be a shock? If you don't get him involved in the gameplan, he's going to check out, he's going to pop off, that's what he does. Instead of heeding a decade of past history, you spent four games antagonizing the man. Again, what did you think was going to happen? Please don't take this as a defense of his behavior, anyone who's a fan of sports should find characters like this revolting. Randy Moss represent every ugly truth we don't want to acknowledge about our obsession with sports, every me-first jerk out there who gets special treatment because of their athletic abilities. But there are two things that need to be acknowledged here:
The offense was better with him here.
You bought the ticket, now take the ride.
Instead we cut bait, in "too little, too late" fashion. Instead of trying to salvage what we could out of a bad situation, by clearing the air and making a commitment to doing what should've been done, we gave up, throwing away a 3rd round pick in the process. This may help Chilly's bruised ego heal faster, but it's not going to help with winning football games. Rules have been bent and broken, team unity is most likely hanging by a thread, and things aren't going to improve any time soon. The coach has no clothes and has very likely lost this team. My apologies for that mental image.
At the end of the day Vikings fans, we probably are all getting what we deserved. We quite literally made a deal with the devil here and it backfired, trying to paper over it with a second unholy addition just made things worse. Brett Favre has been breaking our hearts for the better part of two decades, why should it change just because he's wearing a purple jersey? Randy Moss already quit on us once when he didn't like what was going on, why should the second time around be any different?
Things have been ugly, now they're just getting sad, but easier to handle when they were seen coming a mile off. The whole thing just brings a lot of fundamental questions to mind. Did Childress ever want Moss on this team in the first place? Would Childress still be coaching here at all if not for Favre coming to save him? Could Mike Tice, a guy everyone laughed at, have done just as well or better with all the resources the current regime has been handed? Which is more important, the success that's been had over the past couple years, or that fact that the seeming arrogance of the coach has led to the current house-of-cards situation?
Or is it all just pointless to ponder?
Times like this it's good to be a diehard, because there's always the chance to sit back, bide time, and wait til next year.
Seven games into a highly-anticipated year, the USS Viking is taking on water in ever-increasing quantities. Yesterday's loss left the team sitting at 2-5 and you'd be hard pressed to come up with any positives from the team's play. The quarterback was a bit better, but the receivers couldn't get open with enough frequency or hold onto the ball when they did. The defensive backfield played better than I anticipated, but that's likely the result of a gameplan focused on minimizing risk. As a result, the pass rush was nonexistent and Tom Brady had all the time he needed to chuck the ball around.
Now the schedule softens up considerably, but there is no indication that any turnaround is about to occur, at least not one of the magnitude need to reach 9-10 win neighborhood needed for the playoffs. Popular opinion has long held that the Vikings winning ways of the last few years were accomplished more IN SPITE of their coaching than BECAUSE of it. While I've tried to give Brad Childress the benefit of the doubt, pointing out that winning in the NFL is no easy task, things are starting to wear thin. It's the easiest thing in the world to throw everything at the feet of the coach when tough scheduling, injuries and just plain bad luck, so I'm trying not to be knee-jerk...but he's lost me.
There's no one among us who'd call him a great tactician, despite what we were told upon his arrival about the game plans he crafted in Philadelphia. There's no one who'd call him an inspiring or colorful leader, given his monotone press conferences and generally flavorless appearance. And he is certainly not the quarterback guru that some (most notably himself) appeared to think that he was, look no further than the ongoing charade that is Tavaris Jackson. But what you could say about Chilly is: He had control of the room.
In the game of ego management and millionaire motivation, key to any professional sports endeavor, Brad Childress seemed to know how to push the right buttons to keep his teams focused and ready to play. One can't overlook the huge upgrade in resources he had over his predecessors, or the self-inflicted wounds that his ego inflicted on offense by remaining undermanned at QB, but at least you could say he knew how to work with what he had. Over the last season and a half, that reputation has been turned on it's head, because like most of us fans out there, Chilly got desparate.
It started with Favre, and the new set of rules that were crafted for him. Continued into the swing for the fences that was Randy Moss this season. And it almost worked. Unfortunately the history books are packed with near-misses, and with today's release of Moss, following his press conference tirade after yesterday's game, the chickens have truly come home to roost. I don't know who made the call on bringing him back, but based on what has happened since he returned, Childress must've been strong-armed. You have to be one of two things to think that using Randy as a decoy was going to end in harmony: Naive or stupid. Contrary to popular opinion, I do not think Brad Childress is stupid, so I'm rather befuddled here.
I mean alert the media, Randy Moss went off in a press conference, why should this be a shock? If you don't get him involved in the gameplan, he's going to check out, he's going to pop off, that's what he does. Instead of heeding a decade of past history, you spent four games antagonizing the man. Again, what did you think was going to happen? Please don't take this as a defense of his behavior, anyone who's a fan of sports should find characters like this revolting. Randy Moss represent every ugly truth we don't want to acknowledge about our obsession with sports, every me-first jerk out there who gets special treatment because of their athletic abilities. But there are two things that need to be acknowledged here:
The offense was better with him here.
You bought the ticket, now take the ride.
Instead we cut bait, in "too little, too late" fashion. Instead of trying to salvage what we could out of a bad situation, by clearing the air and making a commitment to doing what should've been done, we gave up, throwing away a 3rd round pick in the process. This may help Chilly's bruised ego heal faster, but it's not going to help with winning football games. Rules have been bent and broken, team unity is most likely hanging by a thread, and things aren't going to improve any time soon. The coach has no clothes and has very likely lost this team. My apologies for that mental image.
At the end of the day Vikings fans, we probably are all getting what we deserved. We quite literally made a deal with the devil here and it backfired, trying to paper over it with a second unholy addition just made things worse. Brett Favre has been breaking our hearts for the better part of two decades, why should it change just because he's wearing a purple jersey? Randy Moss already quit on us once when he didn't like what was going on, why should the second time around be any different?
Things have been ugly, now they're just getting sad, but easier to handle when they were seen coming a mile off. The whole thing just brings a lot of fundamental questions to mind. Did Childress ever want Moss on this team in the first place? Would Childress still be coaching here at all if not for Favre coming to save him? Could Mike Tice, a guy everyone laughed at, have done just as well or better with all the resources the current regime has been handed? Which is more important, the success that's been had over the past couple years, or that fact that the seeming arrogance of the coach has led to the current house-of-cards situation?
Or is it all just pointless to ponder?
Times like this it's good to be a diehard, because there's always the chance to sit back, bide time, and wait til next year.
Friday, October 29, 2010
When did the world pass me by?
I don't know what happened here, but between the Miami Heat, MMA and NASCAR this week, nobody seems to give a hoot about the World Series. Not that I care about TV ratings, in fact it's just the opposite, a Yankees-Phillies series would've barely registered with me, but drawn much bigger audiences than the current matchup.
What irks me about the whole thing is the glee that fans of other "activities" (I can't say sports because some of this stuff doesn't qualify) take in the fact people care less about something else than their thing. Particularly when their thing is the biggest thing going. I get why you want priority when your particular passion is being overruled in a bar by something you hate, but if the NBA, NFL or UFC is on, there's nothing that's going to supplant it. So get over it and stop being such a sore winnner.
Instead we have football fans crowing about the awful Titans-Jags game beating the ALCS and hoops heads crowing that Miami's first game of an 82-game season dwarfs Game One of the Fall Classic. Look, I'll be the first to admit that I'm happy live in one of the few places in this country where hockey gets an equal priority in regard to basketball, as I prefer to watch puck. But I'm equal opportunity, and when we have a decent local squad, I'll tune in. Acting as if disliking something will somehow elevate what you enjoy is stupid, ultimately your thing will be judged on it's own merits. To every Timerberwolves fan who's upset their team gets bumped for a hockey or baseball game around here, get a better team, and that problem will solve itself.
Furthermore, where did the chip on the shoulder of these people come from? Football and basketball are the two most popular games in the country, yet they feel they need to point this out as a part of some insecurity they have. Particularly NBA fans, many of whom claim to be a rare breed, despite the fact they have tripleheaders on major networks 5 days a week, while the NHL fans among us need a roadmap, GPS and spelunking helmet to track down our favorite sport in the cable netherregions, if at all.
Try this, imagine living in a world where you don't give two s**ts about LeBron James, Brock Lesnar or anyone who's notoriety comes from driving something fast. Realize that Sportscenter pretty much became a no-fly zone from October-June about 5 years ago for those of us with that mentality, and this past summer it turned year-round. Also realize that I'm not ripping your thing, and will watch when it provides compelling moments, but you're not the persecuted one here. Every time I have to fight to see the last 5 minutes of a game I've been watching for 3 hours because some meathead in a Tapout shirt is demanding the 5th undercard, I feel a little bit more like I just don't get it. Will we even have baseball in 20 years?
Week 8 picks:
Last week: 7-7
Season: 36-38-2 (Just can't get over the friggin hump here)
NEW ENGLAND -6 over Minnesota
San Francisco -1 over Denver
Jacksonville +6 over DALLAS
Washington +2.5 over DETROIT
NEW YORK JETS -6 over Green Bay
ST LOUIS -3 over Carolina
Miami +2 over CINCINNATI
Buffalo +7.5 over KANSAS CITY
Tennessee +3.5 over SAN DIEGO
Tampa Bay +3 over ARIZONA
OAKLAND -2.5 over Seattle
Pittsburgh +1 over NEW ORLEANS
INDIANAPOLIS -5.5 over Houston
What irks me about the whole thing is the glee that fans of other "activities" (I can't say sports because some of this stuff doesn't qualify) take in the fact people care less about something else than their thing. Particularly when their thing is the biggest thing going. I get why you want priority when your particular passion is being overruled in a bar by something you hate, but if the NBA, NFL or UFC is on, there's nothing that's going to supplant it. So get over it and stop being such a sore winnner.
Instead we have football fans crowing about the awful Titans-Jags game beating the ALCS and hoops heads crowing that Miami's first game of an 82-game season dwarfs Game One of the Fall Classic. Look, I'll be the first to admit that I'm happy live in one of the few places in this country where hockey gets an equal priority in regard to basketball, as I prefer to watch puck. But I'm equal opportunity, and when we have a decent local squad, I'll tune in. Acting as if disliking something will somehow elevate what you enjoy is stupid, ultimately your thing will be judged on it's own merits. To every Timerberwolves fan who's upset their team gets bumped for a hockey or baseball game around here, get a better team, and that problem will solve itself.
Furthermore, where did the chip on the shoulder of these people come from? Football and basketball are the two most popular games in the country, yet they feel they need to point this out as a part of some insecurity they have. Particularly NBA fans, many of whom claim to be a rare breed, despite the fact they have tripleheaders on major networks 5 days a week, while the NHL fans among us need a roadmap, GPS and spelunking helmet to track down our favorite sport in the cable netherregions, if at all.
Try this, imagine living in a world where you don't give two s**ts about LeBron James, Brock Lesnar or anyone who's notoriety comes from driving something fast. Realize that Sportscenter pretty much became a no-fly zone from October-June about 5 years ago for those of us with that mentality, and this past summer it turned year-round. Also realize that I'm not ripping your thing, and will watch when it provides compelling moments, but you're not the persecuted one here. Every time I have to fight to see the last 5 minutes of a game I've been watching for 3 hours because some meathead in a Tapout shirt is demanding the 5th undercard, I feel a little bit more like I just don't get it. Will we even have baseball in 20 years?
Week 8 picks:
Last week: 7-7
Season: 36-38-2 (Just can't get over the friggin hump here)
NEW ENGLAND -6 over Minnesota
San Francisco -1 over Denver
Jacksonville +6 over DALLAS
Washington +2.5 over DETROIT
NEW YORK JETS -6 over Green Bay
ST LOUIS -3 over Carolina
Miami +2 over CINCINNATI
Buffalo +7.5 over KANSAS CITY
Tennessee +3.5 over SAN DIEGO
Tampa Bay +3 over ARIZONA
OAKLAND -2.5 over Seattle
Pittsburgh +1 over NEW ORLEANS
INDIANAPOLIS -5.5 over Houston
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Well that's it, now we're completely screwed
Decided to wait a day in reacting to the latest Vikings disaster, in order to take a deep breath and calmly assess where the team is and where it appears to be going. 24 hours of reflection have left me in the same place where I began: We're pretty much screwed here.
There's a lot of pissing and moaning going on this week about a lot of topics, with the majority of it being completely justified. The officiating sucked, the pass rush was lousy, the secondary is a sham and Brett Favre absolutely killed the team with unbelievable turnovers. This is all true. Problem is, short of hoping it gets better, what are you really going to do about it? Bad luck is unfortunate, but ultimately out of your control. Bad play on the other hand? Well that's a stickier wicket.
Fans whining about refs is a loser's lament, the last refuge of someone who doesn't want to admit their team got beat. Coaches and players might be a bit different, but only a bit, because their protests are actually heard, and could subconsciously sway an officials call in their favor the next time around. Fans calling for Favre's head do present an actionable argument, but I'd ask them to stop and consider the alternative.
I mean, you people do understand that you're asking for Tarvaris Jackson, right?
If you do, and you are sticking to your guns on that opinion, then more power to you and excuse me if I totally disagree. I mean you do remember watching T-Jack right? The king of the double-clutch, one-hop knuckler? The man who inspired so much apathy that the Vikings needed two extensions to sell out a playoff game two years ago? The man who's first (and amazingly not only) highlight video features more scrambles than passes from the pocket for more than 10 yards? (Incidentally, ignore the terrible quality of that link and just focus on the music, how perfect is that! He will not die! I couldn't have said it better myself!)
Please don't take any of this an an endorsement of Favre, he's been terrible so far and wobbling around on a bad wheel isn't going to make things any better. Just sayin, if T-Jack is the answer and the question is anything other than "Who is the worst Vikings quarterback of your lifetime after Spurgeon Wynn?", then you've lost me. If this is the guy who we're hoping will lead us out of the wilderness, then we are destined to be eaten by bears. As bad as Favre has been, he at least shows the capacity to make plays, whereas Jackson only shows the capacity to occupy capacity on the roster.
Hope I'm wrong here, really do. But after seeing a lot of T-Jack over the years, including an atrocious preseason most recently, there is no evidence to make me think he will ever be a professional quarterback.
And that is why, fellow Vikings fans, short of a miraculous healing and turnabout in Favre's play, we're tremendously screwed here.
I am looking forward to two things:
1. The first getting-dragged-to-the-ground, desperation flip pass into the arms of a linebacker, which makes every Vikings fan who called for Jackson stop and say "Wait a minute, I remember this, he makes all the same dumb plays, but none of the good ones". That will be delicious.
2. The sideline shot of Chilly immediately following, when all those ugly memories he tried to put out of his mind the last few years come flooding back, and his eyes betray the panic racing through his brain.
Other than that, this should go well.
There's a lot of pissing and moaning going on this week about a lot of topics, with the majority of it being completely justified. The officiating sucked, the pass rush was lousy, the secondary is a sham and Brett Favre absolutely killed the team with unbelievable turnovers. This is all true. Problem is, short of hoping it gets better, what are you really going to do about it? Bad luck is unfortunate, but ultimately out of your control. Bad play on the other hand? Well that's a stickier wicket.
Fans whining about refs is a loser's lament, the last refuge of someone who doesn't want to admit their team got beat. Coaches and players might be a bit different, but only a bit, because their protests are actually heard, and could subconsciously sway an officials call in their favor the next time around. Fans calling for Favre's head do present an actionable argument, but I'd ask them to stop and consider the alternative.
I mean, you people do understand that you're asking for Tarvaris Jackson, right?
If you do, and you are sticking to your guns on that opinion, then more power to you and excuse me if I totally disagree. I mean you do remember watching T-Jack right? The king of the double-clutch, one-hop knuckler? The man who inspired so much apathy that the Vikings needed two extensions to sell out a playoff game two years ago? The man who's first (and amazingly not only) highlight video features more scrambles than passes from the pocket for more than 10 yards? (Incidentally, ignore the terrible quality of that link and just focus on the music, how perfect is that! He will not die! I couldn't have said it better myself!)
Please don't take any of this an an endorsement of Favre, he's been terrible so far and wobbling around on a bad wheel isn't going to make things any better. Just sayin, if T-Jack is the answer and the question is anything other than "Who is the worst Vikings quarterback of your lifetime after Spurgeon Wynn?", then you've lost me. If this is the guy who we're hoping will lead us out of the wilderness, then we are destined to be eaten by bears. As bad as Favre has been, he at least shows the capacity to make plays, whereas Jackson only shows the capacity to occupy capacity on the roster.
Hope I'm wrong here, really do. But after seeing a lot of T-Jack over the years, including an atrocious preseason most recently, there is no evidence to make me think he will ever be a professional quarterback.
And that is why, fellow Vikings fans, short of a miraculous healing and turnabout in Favre's play, we're tremendously screwed here.
I am looking forward to two things:
1. The first getting-dragged-to-the-ground, desperation flip pass into the arms of a linebacker, which makes every Vikings fan who called for Jackson stop and say "Wait a minute, I remember this, he makes all the same dumb plays, but none of the good ones". That will be delicious.
2. The sideline shot of Chilly immediately following, when all those ugly memories he tried to put out of his mind the last few years come flooding back, and his eyes betray the panic racing through his brain.
Other than that, this should go well.
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