Scott Baker, Antichrist

 Scott Baker's pitching is like biting into a ballpark hotdog and come away with a short n curly, forgetting to wipe down the seat in a public restroom and sitting on something wet, or rounding the corner in the men's locker room and coming face to face with an obese man bending over.  In a word, disgusting.

Scott Baker's outings are more poorly planned than FEMA relief efforts, and leave a bigger mess that BPs Deepwater Horizon.

The other day a play-by-play guy mentioned Scott Baker "executing his pitches", I got excited for a moment, thinking he had said "executing this pitcher". Sadly, that was not the case.

Seeing Scott Baker's name on the schedule induces the same feeling of horror as watching the water rise in a newly backed-up toilet.  Appropriate, give the figurative deuces he's been dropping all season, not talking about curveballs either.

If white is the lack of color, then Scott Baker is the lack of talent and winning is the lack of Scott Baker.

Scott Baker could not hit water if he fell out of a ****ing boat.

It's quite possible the Oklahoma Dust Bowl of the 1930s was God's attempt to prevent the existence of Scott Baker.

Scott Baker invented the vuvuzela, turkey bacon and the interminable commercial-kickoff-commercial stretch in NFL games.

The next time you're stuck in traffic, blame Scott Baker; he's also responsible for the subprime mortgage crisis and the fact that Saturday Night Live is no longer funny.

Scott Baker doesn't seem to care that he sucks, or maybe he's just afraid to throw his glove in the dugout for fear of it flying 400 feet in the opposite direction.

Palestinians and Israelis would've put their differences aside years ago, had it not been for Scott Baker.

If a train leaves Chicago headed east at 70 MPH, and another leaves Cleveland traveling at 50 MPH, Scott Baker has most likely surrendered home runs to more than half the passengers.

The shortest distance between two points is the seats and a Scott Baker fastball.  The greatest distance is between competence and Scott Baker.

Scott Baker's WHIP could be confused with a 40-yard dash time.

I'm pretty sure Scott Baker is the devil incarnate, because it's a trip through hell every time he takes the mound.