Once more, heartbreak

Well, I guess that's why the blog is named Loserville. In what has become their trademark, the Minnesota Vikings have managed to blow another huge game in improbable fashion. Despite dominating much of the action, moving the ball at will and coming up with key defensive stops against a great offense, things ended up the way they always seem to end here in Loserville USA, with the other team celebrating, and all of us left to choke down another gut-wrenching defeat.

I find myself at a loss for words today, after watching yesterday's brutal display. There have been many bad Vikings defeats over the years, but this one might be the most agonizing of them all on a personal level, given that I better understand what was at stake. I was 19 years old for the 1999 NFC Championship game, which previously stood as the greatest Vikings defeat of my lifetime. Now, at 30, Ive seen 9 seasons pass since the team last made it this far, and understand it is a rare occurrence that is guaranteed to no one. These last few months, the stars aligned for a very special season, one that is not likely to be repeated any time soon, even if the team returns intact. Winning in the NFL requires equal parts skill and luck, every year teams rise and fall on the whim of the latter, so forgive me if I can't get on board with the talk of a promising future I'm hearing today.

It would in fact be silly to look forward, without first considering the more troubling question of whether it's wise to continue putting myself out there for this team at all. You might call this reaction knee-jerk, but it's been a long time coming, given the string of horrible disappointments doled out by the Purple during my life. Like an abused spouse, I've stuck things out in the misguided belief that things would eventually change, that there was a relationship here important enough to salvage, and that it would prevail over all else. I now realize that opinion is as dumb as it is misguided, and my breaking point with this team might've finally been reached. Perhaps I'll never be able to stop watching, but somehow it has to be on a more casual basis, because I can't take much more.

Today is a soul-crushing mix of anger and despair that can't be endured with any regularity. It's not about the fumbles, the penalties, or any other particular gaffe, it's about the creeping dread of knowing, somehow someway, that a supernatural force is at work against this team. No matter what they do, no matter how well things are going or how good the outcome looks, things will end poorly. I did a great job of remembering this for 6 days of buildup, 6 hours of pregame and 58 minutes of football; only then, as Brett Favre manuverued the team down the field on the final drive, did I allow myself a moment of belief that the Vikings could actually win the game. It's as if God himself was waiting for even the most cynical and fatalistic fans to be drawn in, before he glanced over and said "That's it, we've got them, now pull the rug." It's not THAT we lose, it's HOW we lose that makes this team so very special.

You may not believe in curses, but I offer yesterday's game as Exhibit A to the contrary; a football game can be lost a thousand different ways, it is not coincidence that the Vikings always find the most awful, soul-crushing way to do so. The Saints could've come out and blown us off the field, Chilly could've pissed it down his leg with an anemic offensive gameplan, Favre couldve went gunslinger from the get go and thrown us out of it early; any of these wouldve been a welcome change from what actually transpired. Those mistakes would've been understandable, they wouldve fit with past history, and not caused the terrible despair of watching the team storm down the field time after time, only to see one awful mistake after another undo those efforts.

As for where we go from here? No idea. Not one. Frankly I don't even care to discuss it. Sure the team is young, the nucleus will remain together, Favre might even be back for another season, who knows? But all the standard offseason chatter of next years team and it's prospects is rendered moot by the cloud hanging over the franchise. There is no way I could bring myself to believe we will win, ever. I get accused of being overly negative at times, and I'm trying to work on that, but never again in regard to the Minnesota Vikings. No amount of fear and loathing could be considered eccessive here; the days of this team getting the benefit of the doubt for one moment on anything have long passed, I'm fed up, utterly ****ed and defeated. I've got nothing left. They can't say or do anything, short of holding the Lombardi Trophy at midfield, that will convince me I will see a Super Bowl title before I die.

It's become clear that it's just never going to happen, and that's why today is so tough.