Back in the saddle

It's been three weeks since I last posted an entry here, my apologies for the long layoff. Frankly it was difficult to muster much enthusiasm for a while there, as the stink of defeat seemed to linger around every topic. But now that I've picked myself up and dusted myself off, it's time to get back to it; losing is what we do around here, so how can I use a loss as an excuse to mope? At this rate the next horrible loss will follow right on it's heels and if we stopped to mourn every one of them, well none of us would ever get a thing done.

So while I never intended for this type of layoff, it must be acknowledge that some time should be allowed to pick up the pieces. After all, even Jesus took three days before he bounced back from his toughest defeat, and as anyone who knows me will be quick to tell you I'm far from Christ-like, so I suppose three weeks is appropriate. Especially considering that Jesus was dead and I was only in a state of deep despair; then again, he didn't have to see the highlights of his crucifixion on ESPN every time he turned around, so we'll call it a wash.

At any rate, there is no escaping the ugly truth that here is Loserville, losses are a fact of life that must be confronted and conquered. You're certainly not going to get by trying to distract yourself with other endeavors in sport, there is nothing pleasant to serve as a distraction. You're not going to take a few weeks off watching and enjoy the outdoors, because it is 10 degrees and snowing every day. So what's a person to do? Climb down, climb into the crevasse.

To explain, I am a big fan of the show 30 Rock, and on one particular episode, titled "Into the Crevasse", Jack Donaghy, one of the shows main characters, recounts a tale of falling down an ice chute while mountain climbing. There was no way to climb out, as the opening had closed above him, the only way out was to climb down, to go lower still and hope it led to freedom. This is the winter of our discontent, the most putrid winter sports season in recent memory, on the heels of a crushing Vikings loss. There is no hope of anything coming along to lift our spirits, only many weeks of bleak winter, before baseball season finally arrives. So I invite you to stink still lower with me, and offer the Minnesota Hall of Pain, in no particular order, the worst defeats in a life that has been filled with them:

Vikings

12 Men In The Huddle/Fumblaya/Balls On The Ground (2010) - I think this one has been covered.

Take A Knee (1999) - Until this point, the gold standard of Vikings futility, at least as far as my life has been concerned. Now that the shock has worn off this year's game, I feel I can do an honest comparison, and still hold that the 2010 debacle beats the 1999 one. It's more about where I am in my life and better appreciating the rarity of the opportunity, ten years ago I was still young and naive enough to not believe in curses.

41-Doughnut (2001) - Didn't have the rip-your-heart-out factor that the other two brought, but made up for it by being an abject embarrassment. The kind of game that makes you wish your team had lost the week before, for no other reason than at least you might've had an entertaining football game to watch.

Twins

Bumble In The Bronx (2004) - Game 2, 2004 ALDS, Yankees vs. Twins. The scrappy underdog Twins are poised to take a commanding 2-0 series lead over the hated Yankees, following a Torii Hunter home run in the top of the 12th inning which made the score 6-5. Unfortunately All-Star closer Joe Nathan implodes in the bottom of the inning,issuing back-to-back walks in the bottom of the inning, including one to the #9 hitter, and allowing both to come around to score.

(Bonus pain points for me, as I spent the rest of the night cursing myself for watching the game at Benchwarmer Bob's in Burnsville, site of the aforementioned Take A Knee debacle. You avoid a place for 5 years during playoff games, then you let yourself slip, thinking it's safe to go back. Remember, it's never safe. Fortunately they gutted to old place and I was able to exorcise the demons by watching Game 163 at the new establishment last year, good times)

Bumble In The Bronx 2 (2009) - Game 2, 2009 ALDS, Yankees vs. Twins. The scrappy underdog Twins are poised to even the series at a game apiece versus the hated Yankees, following a brilliant pitching performance by righty Nick Blackburn. Unfortunately, stop me if you've heard this, All-Star closer Joe Nathan implodes in the bottom of the 9th inning, surrendering a tying 2-run home run to Alex Roidriguez, and watching the Yankees go on to win in the 11th.

Timberwolves

Rush Hour (2004) - Game 6, 2004 Western Conference Finals. In a pivotal game that could've sent the Wolves back home with a chance to advance to the finals, little-known reserve Kareem Rush (you may know him as the guy who bagged your groceries last week) rolls in averaging 2.5 points per game and proceeds to hit six 3-pointers, propelling the Lakers to a 96-90 victory. The first, last and only run of the Kevin Garnett Era, this is the high water mark of a franchise that has been reeling ever since.

North Stars/Wild

Jose Can You See (2008) - Game 5, 2008 Western Conference Quarterfinals. Earlier in the playoffs than many of the previously mentioned defeats, but just as brutal, given the circumstances. A Wild team with high hopes for the playoffs coming off it's first division title drops the pivotal game in a 2-2 series, outshooting the Colorado Avalanche by a whopping 40-17 margin, but falling by a 3-2 score. One of the most frustrating games I've ever watched in my life, as the Wild dominated up and down the ice, but couldn't solve Avs netminder Jose Theodore. Adding insult to injury, Colorado got it's 2nd and 3rd tallies only a minute apart in the 3rd period, stealing a game they never deserved to win.

THUD! (1991) - Game 6, 1991 Stanley Cup Finals. A Cinderella run by the North Stars hits midnight with an unceremonius 8-0 drubbing at the hands of the Pittsburgh Penguins. Tough to look at this one as too disappointing, given that the Stars delivered way more than people ever expected, but what a buzzkill. I still remember sitting in the basement, watching goal after goal get pumped in by the Pens, it was about as wide a gap in talent I've ever seen in a championship round, if you feel like reliving it, here you go: http://game6.nhl91.com/

So there it is, my own personal trip through sports hell, frankly it's been cathartic and reminded me that as bad as things can get, they could always be worse. Now on to bigger and better things (or at least no more additions to the Hall of Pain for a while...please?).