Every year, on Thursday during the third week in March, I do something at work that a lot of people would probably consider rather bizarre. Sitting at my desk, I construct a chain of 52 paper clips and hang it from a hook on the side of my cabinet. Like a kid anticipating Christmas, I remove one each subsequent Thursday throughout the year, arriving at today, when I get to take down the final link in the chain, and toss it into the drawer with it's brothers.
In addition to some compulsion that I should probably discuss with a mental health professional, this ritual should convey exactly how much I love the WCHA Final Five.
Last year at this time, I ran down why this is the greatest weekend of the year, and my personal memories of this tourney. Since I wrote that, my favorite team win another tournament title in riveting fashion, and we all found out that college hockey's best league (and postseason tournament) has an expiration date. Suffice to say, none of that has made this weekend hasn't smaller in my mind. To the contrary in fact, because after what seems like an eternity, the Minnesota Golden Gophers have finally returned. And as any opposing fan will tell you, things are always a bit bigger when they're involved.
First off, a bit of housekeeping for the Maroon-clad masses: The Xcel Energy Center is located in St. Paul, Minnesota at the corner of Kellog Blvd and West 7th St. We know it's been awhile since you've had occasion to make the trip, so here are some handy directions from Mariucci Arena, which we know (most of) you are able to find. Safe travels, and we'll see you at the game!
But that's the last ribbing you'll get out of me, because frankly I've always been really lousy at talking trash. Always end up getting far more steamed than the opposition, probably because they're just having fun and I'm taking it seriously. In any case, it's hard to have much in the way of bravado when you always expect to lose. In fact the superstitious side of me feels it's bad karma to get haughty before a game, so forget I even brought this up.
But you do have to admit, it's been a weird couple of years. To go from a stretch of time when I started attending Final Fives and the Gophers kept breaking my heart, to back-to-back years when they weren't even present? Well that was just downright odd. Not that us North Dakota fans minded of course, winning has a way of making you ignore those formalities. It'd be like the Twins winning a playoff series and being pissed that they didn't play the Yankees, just take the 'W' and move on.
So here we are on the cusp of a new chapter, and things couldn't have worked out better. Sure, NoDak could've found it's way into 3rd place, saving the showdown for Saturday night, but at this point Friday will work just fine. The slate of teams couldn't be better, with the league's top four teams, local drawing card St. Cloud, and the appearance of the much-maligned Michigan Tech Huskies for only the second time in the last decade. The Tech pep band (official band of the Final Five) always does a nice job in St. Paul, even with the team sitting at home in Houghton, can't wait to see what they bust out now that they're also making the trip.
I could go on and on about how great this weekend is going to be (provided we beat St. Cloud on Thursday night, you've gotta gimme that, COME ON!), but again, there's really not much to say that wasn't in the post from last year. What did strike me though, was what if I had to distill it down to the ten things I most loved about this weekend, what would that list look like?
So away we go...
1) March Madness coinciding
At this point, you're probably saying "Duh", and it's true that the opening weekend of the Madness is a totally obvious choice that millions of people love, but you still have to marvel at the timing. The fact that these two events are intertwined throughout the same weekend is just marvelous, and insures that you will not have minute one of boredom from 11 AM until midnight. One weekend before or after, and this doesn't happen, it's quite serendipitous. Makes me feel like I did something right in a past life or something. Of course the rest of the Minnesota sports scene feels like punishment for being a Stalin-esque dictator, so perhaps there's nothing to that.
2) St. Patrick's Day coinciding
Again, duh, but it's just another piece of the puzzle that needs to be considered by any fool who'd try to stack another weekend up against this one. It's true that sometimes the crowds can get unwieldy, particularly when the weather doesn't cooperate. But in general, the presence of St. Paul's huge St. Paddy's crowds bring in another great element (not to mention scantily-clad women) and push things to the next level. Last year was a might aggressive, since it fell on Thursday, and that's a rough way to start your weekend. If this weekend is a marathon, then kicking it off with St. Patrick's Day is like a marathon with a plastic bag over your head; maybe you can do it, but it won't be pleasant and you might just perish on the way. I'm also not a huge fan of the Friday STP Day experience, since leaving for the 2 PM semifinal always costs you hard-fought bar real estate that can never be recaptured.
This year it's on Saturday, which is perfect. Sure you won't feel like popping out of bed and beelining it for McGovern's at 8 AM to lock down tables after two days spent F-5ing yourself (which would also be rather aggressive given the 7 PM game time), but the holiday does provide a nice excuse to drink off your hangover without pesky thoughts of alcoholism creeping in. After all, who doesn't drink on St. Paddy's? Squares, that's who, and I could never be a square, cause I like to get a-Round!
My advice? Take a more leisurely tack. A little breakfast at one of the fine establishments on Cathedral Hill, couple of cocktails to ease that feeling of nails being pounded into your forehead, and a nice stroll down to West 7th when you feel ready to re-enter the fray. The weather this year will be perfect, both for the walk, and ensuring a hospitable conditions in the many outdoor tents scattered across the city. Erin go Bragh.
3) Alary's
It's a bar, check it out.
4) Carnage
This one might seem a tad more mean-spirited and dangerous, but three days of heavy drinking brings with it the promise of some epic physical comedy.
Some things I feel bad for laughing at, like the time a friend related the story of a man being knocked unconcisous by a vehicle (and losing his shoes!) on West 7th, then walking away as if nothing had happened. Picked up his cell conversation right where he left off and everything. Of course, I don't feel bad enough about it to keep from laughing.
Some things I don't feel bad for laughing about, just regret that I didn't see them in person. Like the buddy who tried to slide down one of the railings at the arena, made it about two feet, then unintentionally dismounted on his head in a rather indelicate fashion.
Some things I did see, and laugh when recalling to this day. Like another member of the group who was two steps in front of me descending a flight of stairs, lost his balance when he turned to make a smartass comment and went face first into a brick wall, opening up a cosmetic, but hilarious (and very visible at work on Monday) gash on his forehead.
Some things will forever be unexplained. Like another buddy who disappeared for hours one evening, the returned hours later with his face covered in mud and a couple broken ribs. I would pay $200 to learn the tale of his evening, but alas, it's forever lost to us, just another piece of Final Five lore. Don't feel too bad for broken ribs guy either, because he witnessed the railing thing, and laughs uproariously every time he re-tells it.
The moral of the story, you know those funny video shows they used to have on TV and still play once in awhile at bars? Some of that stuff looks like it might be painful, right? But you laugh all the same, because carnage is hilarious? Well, this is just that in real life. I'll tell you one thing though, it always strikes me as ironic whenever I see a kid wearing a bike helmet after this weekend, perhaps we should take a cue.
5) Eagle St. Grille
When I read stuff online about people making Final Five plans, a lot of great bars get tossed out: McGovern's, Reid's, The Liffey. But this one, my particular favorite, is absent from most conversations. Perhaps that's because it's the closest to the arena, and usually fairly hopping, if not outright packed, but it's been a staple of our trips since day one and has witnessed more great Final Five moments than anywhere. ESG started with the Xcel Center, as just a little shoebox of a place with a single bar and one-person bathrooms. Since then, it's slowly morphed into a true gem of a bar, acquiring neighboring space on it's slow march to occupy the better part of a city block. The staff is great, the food is great, the patio is great, the owners are the kind of people you want to see succeed and obviously, the location kicks ass.
You might be saying "Come on, it's just a bar". But when you're fighting you're way through a throng of patrons, make eye contact with a bartender across a line 10 people deep, and receive your beverage in an unspoken transaction that took mere moments? Well then, you are not at a bar my friend, you're home.
6) The people
From the excellent crew of buddies that shows up, to the old college friends you bump into, to the out-of-town fans you strike up conversations with, this is just a fantastic collection of great people. Not that there aren't plenty of other good groups out there, but for my money, you can't beat hockey fans.
7) The shots
Of course, nothing helps grease the skids on forging new friendships like a few drinks. While it's often been said that you shouldn't need alcohol to have a good time, I'd like to think that you don't know how good a time you could potentially be having if you're not drinking alcohol. There's a tipping point to each day of festivities, and it's usually about 10 minutes after the phrase "Let's have a shot". The official shots of the Final Five are Irish Car Bombs (St. Paddy's) and Rumpleminze (otherwise).
Car Bombs you've probably had, they taste like chocolate milk, and were most likely invented to "soothe" young Irish children when they were being too rambunctious late in the evening. Rumplemize is a simpler spirit, it's basically the Fourth Reich. A minty draught that ends with a kick resembling rubbing alcohol, I can only imagine how many combined bathtubs across Germany it takes to churn out a steady supply of the stuff. If you're confused as to why we actually drink it, well so am I, but that doesn't mean I'm passing...especially if you're buying.
8) The pics
One member of our group is quite the photog, and Final Five picture reviews, both before and after the event, are an absolute staple. The process of dawning realization that accompanies seeing yourself in a photo is truly priceless. It's a sort of "when were we, wait a minute, oh yeah!" feeling that both amuses and makes you pause to consider what else might've happened that you're not totally clear on.
9) The numbers game
Sometimes, a matchup of teams just isn't that intriguing, but in that event, we've got the perfect fallback plan, it's called Numbers (or The Clock Game, according to some people). The concept is simple, you have a group of people, at max 10, and assign them each a number. When there's a stoppage in play, the person with the number corresponding to the seconds shown on the clock (meaning if 4:35 remains, the person with '5' wins) receives a dollar from everyone else. Goals on your number pay double, OT game-winners are $5 apiece, and penalties mean you own everyone a buck. Sometimes, you come up a person or two short, but that is easily remedied by having everyone throw a dollar to the pot, which is paid out at the next goal.
It's quite simple really, but always entertaining. With all the whistles in a hockey game, the sums of money changing hands can actually get quite substantial. Better than winning though, is conning your opponents out of thier winnings, which happens whenever they fail to notice they won before the puck drops on the next faceoff. Since the players have typically known each other over a period of years, they know just what conversation topics to strike up that will distract the winner long enough to screw him out of his dough. One particularly unfortunate friend of ours likes both soccer and drag racing, so one question about Manchester United will result in him going on a tangent that doesn't end until everyone busts out laughing because the clock just re-started. Point being, if someone starts acting interested in something they typically mock you for, you're being set up. Works more often than you'd think.
10) The hockey
Because that's pretty sweet too!
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