Five Twins that should be dealt immediately for whatever they can get
1) Michael Cuddyer - Yes, I know it will never happen, but he has value, and could always return to finish out his career after the season. Besides, doesn't the guy want a shot at winning?
2) Jason Kubel - Same as above, I'm not anti-Kubel, but we've got a glut of similar outfielders going here.
3) Joe Nathan - Save some cash and maybe get a prospect back, I want no part of next year's huge option.
4) Matt Capps - If anyone wants him. Might have to just hang a "FREE" sign around his neck and have him stand along First Ave.
5) Kevin Slowey - Yes, I know his value is at an all-time low, but it seems apparent that he's never going to pitch for the Twins, so what's the alternative?
Bottom line: They'll probably do nothing and overpay Cuddyer to stay after the season. High marks for loyalty I suppose, but seems like a dumb move from a value standpoint. It's naive to think that you're going to turn two months of Michael Cuddyer into some kind of prospect windfall, but he's a versatille player that a lot of teams could use, and anything you get back is gravy.
Five Vikings who hopefully won't be Vikings by the end of this week
1) Bernard Berrian - The team might be between a rock and a hard place at the wide receiver position if Sidney Rice signs elsewhere, but even if that's the case, it's hard to imagine Berrian helping the situation. One of the all-time "right place, right time" NFL signings, Berrian parlayed a lack of good options at his position into a big contract. One of those moves that looks bad at the time, then only gets worse. His signature play in 3 years as a Viking is probably this one, which is cringeworthy for any Purple fan.
2) Ray Edwards - Bye Ray.
3) Madieu Williams - Seems like a good guy, based on all those community awards, if only he were a good football player.
4) John Sullivan - Okay, maybe not off the roster, but at least not being counted on to handle a starting job.
5) Tavaris Jackson - Yes, there is zero chance he will still be on the roster, just had to say one last time how good it is to see him go.
Bottom line: Was very close to putting Sidney Rice on this list, given his injury history and shenanigans surrounding the delayed surgery last offseason. The guy does have a Pro Bowl under his belt, and lack of productivity in two other seasons can mostly be attributed to bad quarterbacking. But in the end, the guaranteed money he gets is probably going to be more than his accomplishments merit.
Five things that thankfully you won't be hearing me say this fall
1) "I managed to snag that running back from Ball St in my college football fantasy draft. 37th round, what a steal!"
2) "Monday night is synonymous with one thing, 'Dancing with the Stars' of course!
(In case you were wondering, the answer is yes, I did have to look that up)
3) "I dunno, going drinking sounds like fun and all, but I might just sit here weeping softly and missing football."
4) "All the free time on Sundays has allowed me the time to get back to my true love, killing drifters."
5) "Well at least Green Bay won't repeat"
Bottom line: We're back baby!!!
Five guys who'd look good in purple
1) Sidney Rice, WR - Yup, I'm waffling, sue me.
2) Davin Joseph / Harvey Dahl, OG - It's time for the Vikings to get back to playing tough defense with a grind-it-out running game, and this is the first step.
3) Matt Hasselbeck, QB - Christian Ponder may one day be a solid QB in this league, but I don't think it will be this season. Following this abbreviated offseason, a year to sit and learn may be just what the doctor ordered, throwing him out there from day one will probably result in shattered confidence at best and a shattered clavicle at worst. Kyle Orton would be great, but he's got a big cap hit and probably isn't too interested in being a one-year fill-in.
4) Eric Weddle, S - Been awhile since we've had a competent safety around these parts.
5) Nnamdi Asomugha - Never going to happen, not a chance. But that does not change the fact he would look very good in purple. Unfortunately it will probably be Ravens purple.
Bottom line: Mediocre roster, not a lot of cap space, might be better served to take a step back now so we can take two forward later on. The Vikings have become the Wild.
Five things overhead in the Twins dugout during last night's drubbing
1) "I thought Frank pitched yesterday?"
2) "On the bright side, we did help a lot of people earn free chalupas."
3) "I'd say we should make Liddle drive to dinner, but he's got that problem with stop signs."
4) "Not an itching, more of a burning really, taking that trip to the Dominican with Mijares over the All-Star break might not've been the best idea."
5) "Christ is this embarrassing."
Bottom line: It's over.
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