I didn’t want to post anything further about the Vikings stadium proposal until it was either signed/sealed/delivered or legislative roadkill, but it looks like we’re finally on the cusp of that happening. Once the governor finally puts pen to paper, there will be some relief that the Minnesota Vikings will remain in existence as an NFL team, but there will be a lot more that the great football stadium debate is finally over.
Never has that end been more welcome than this week; the topic has been beaten into the ground so thoroughly, they could’ve moved the debate to the proposed site and saved $20 million on excavation costs. Much like the Summer Olympics, the ubiquitous coverage has given something that once carried a passing interest all the appeal of a dentist drill. But to be fair, it’s not like we’ve got much else going on. Discussing the playoffs inevitably leads to depressing thoughts about why we’re not in them, and the current Twins club should be regarded the way China thinks of Taiwan, refusal to recognize their existence.
So we’ll take wins where we can get them, and although some may disagree, this deal looks like a win from where I’m sitting. They say a fair deal is one where both sides feel a bit cheated, and that’s the vibe coming out of this things at the moment. Yes, I’m a football fan. Yes, I realize the team is getting a good deal that will make them a lot of money. No, I don’t think this it’s the end of the world, or care what it says about “our priorities”.
A funny phrase, “our priorities”, since it always seems to really mean “my priorities, which you should also adopt as your own”. The comments of politicians, pundits and nameless online trolls have provided great fodder as this whole saga has unfolded. Particularly during the past week as the most vocal stadium haters have gone positively apoplectic over the bill’s progression through the legislature. As a matter of fact, the doomsayers predicting the eminent demise of our state, country and world as a whole due to these events has been the one truly enjoyable thing about the process.
This isn’t a Vikings stadium justification, in fact I’m not sure that’s possible. If it could be shown to have true value from a return-on-investment perspective, it would’ve been built years ago. It’s my personal belief that stadiums have great value in keeping people connected to downtown areas, promoting tourism, and giving short-term employment a shot in the arm, but also realize that they don’t fully pay their cost back. Enough studies have been done demonstrating that entertainment spending simply migrates from other sources, rather than increasing in the aggregate. Whether or not it’s more desirable to have that spending occurring in downtown Minneapolis, instead of an Applebees in Rogers, is another question (I’d say yes, but I’ll let you make your own judgments there).
Point is, no government outlay can be shown to have benefit outweighing it’s cost with 100% certainty. Not a bike path, not a museum, not a state park, and definitely not any off the hundred less-tangible black holes we pour money down with no visible signs of improvement. We do a lot of things simply because they make scores of people happy, at minimal cost to any particular individual. Sure, we could spend this money on more noble causes; problem is, would it make any difference at all? Morally bankrupt as you may find this project, at least we know the price and will have definite results by which to judge its success. Knowing what you got for what you paid, I’m big on that.
I appreciate you anti-stadium folks, truly; you’re the canary in the mineshaft that keeps us from getting railroaded into giving up the farm. I know you’re angry about things today, but you probably succeeded in lopping $100 million or so off the public share, so kudos on that. But you had to make everything so personal.
With a few exceptions, the lives of football fans don’t revolve completely around watching grown men play a game. We don’t lack meaning in our lives, have pathetic existences, or any of the other lovely bouquets I’ve seen thrown by anonymous commenters in the past few days. If the team packed up and left, or even if football ceased to exist, we’d keep on living our lives, a bit less entertained perhaps, but otherwise not much worse for the wear. The only thing that would likely change is you bitching about us cluttering up your bike paths on Sunday afternoons.
Instead, you get to keep doing what you’re doing unencumbered, and we get to keep watching the team we grew up with, right here in the state of Minnesota. I still get to engage in the Sunday ritual of watching the game with my father and calling my brother to dissect it afterwards, the way we’ve been doing for years. My friends get to look forward to bringing their kids to their first game, and with the next 30 years secured, maybe even their grandkids too. Family gatherings will continue to be able to rely on the crutch of Vikings talk to pave over awkward conversations, connections will continue to be forged between strangers over that same common ground, and heck, maybe even a few kids will get inspired to opt for playing sports over melting into a chair with their video games.
After all, there’s an obesity epidemic in this country, and you’re not against children, are you? (See how ridiculous that sounds?)
Besides, did you ever think this deal wasn’t going to get done? You railed against Target Field, but it happened, albeit greatly delayed (and as a far better venue than if you’d stayed silent, ironically). A few of you even brought the same outrage to the approval of TCF Bank Stadium, although there was far less venom being spewed on that one. A monolithic university is not nearly as fun a villain as a billionaire real estate developer. In the end, both worked out the same way, and if you thought that the Vikings, the state’s most beloved team in the country’s most beloved sports, weren’t getting similar treatment…grow up.
They’re going to build it, it’s going to be great, and in a few months time, you’ll forget all about it, having moved on to your next bout of moralistic finger-waving at those of us not living up to the high standard you’ve set. Frankly, you’re all a bunch of mean-spirited bores, and I don’t care what you think about anything. You probably don’t care, but you are all officially off the guest list for my Super Bowl party next year. No queso, no chicken wings, and certainly not a single piece of the gigantic sandwich.
To tell the truth, I was ready to deal with no stadium and no NFL in this town at one point. I never believed it would get there, but was at peace with the fact that if it did happen, I’d shrug and move on. So thank you, nameless angry masses, for being the kind of lame stick-in-the-mud types that are delightful to infuriate. You’re hyperbole, bile and general unpleasantness have pushed what was a great triumph even higher still. On opening day, I will salute you from my overpriced seat, while eating my bland hotdog and drinking my watered-down beer…and then I will flip you off.
Screw you guys…I’m going to the stadium! SKOL!
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