It's Always Darkest Before the Dawn: 2011 Gopher Football Preview

Ding dong, the Brew is dead, and it's time to kick off another season in Minnesota's favorite ongoing saga: Will the Golden Gophers ever make it back to the Rose Bowl?

This is a historic year in the run of football futility at the U of M, as it officially marks a half-century since the team last appeared in a Rose Bowl.  One fan I know is quick to point out that they last shared a Big Ten title in 1967, but were denied a Bowl berth due to a tiebreaker, so technically this is only year 44.  Making a clarification like that is like pointing out to your buddies that the girl you brought home last night only weighed 243 lbs., not the deuce-and-a-half that they claim.

So we're going with 50, it's a nice round number that I find psychologically satisfying.  Sure it's a long time in the context of college football or a human life, but is it really all that long in the grander scheme of things?  After all, if we were talking about a giant sequoia, or an ice age, 50 years would barely be a blip.  Considered it in those terms, the current run seems pretty minor.  And people say I can't do positivity.

But beyond the easy jokes to be made at the expense of Minnesota football, there are actually some reasons to be excited about the upcoming season.  Talent is not one of them.  Experience is not either.  But if you lack talented and experienced players, the least you can do is hire a competent guy to coach them up, and it appears they've finally done so.  Coach Jerry Kill may succeed spectacularly at Minnesota, or he could fail miserably, but one thing is for certain, the man is a football coach.  The same could never be said with any certainty about the prior holder of that title.

There won't be any rah-rah nonsense in this post, just like there hasn't been any coming from Dinkytown the past few months.  Unlike the Brewsterian one, Coach Kill has set a very low-key tone, at least in terms of hyping his team in the media.  Instead of invoking the words "Rose Bowl" from day one, he's saying what anyone who's been paying attention knows to be true: Getting the program back to competency is going to be a process that will take a good amount of time.

Frankly competency is all we need at this point, after some serious lowlights the past few years.  It was enough to hearken back to the Glen Mason days, when blowing 30-point second half leads was an acceptable trade off for the occasional upset of a power team and the feeling that the team at least had a chance at victory every time it took the field.  Mase had warts, but Brew was a toad, the warts aren't looking so bad these days.

Of course the ultimate goal will still be returning to the Rose Bowl, but in the meantime we'll be searching for any bright spots that offer hope for the future.  Get used to the phrases "tempered enthusiasm", as it's going to be used frequently in the next few months.  With slight variation, every local team that will kick off a season from now until the end of the year has essentially the same expectations: Be competitive, win some games, develop some players and just generally give the feeling that this thing is moving in the right direction.

The roster loaded with freshmen and sophomores, the starting QB is new (albeit experienced), and the schedule is tough.  But after watching what a bit of competent coaching could do ending last season, it's hard to believe the cupboard is totally bare.  Even if it is, it's hard to believe anything worse than last season's atrocious loss to South Dakota is going to happen.  We'll get to find out what kind of quarterback Marqueis Gray has the potential to be, how much life can be injected into a lousy defense with some new schemes, and generally what a consistent approach can do for a football program.

Perhaps the most anti-Brewster trait that Jerry Kill possesses is his consistent approach.  Same style, same coordinators, year in, year out.  After several schizophrenic seasons of new offenses, new coordinators, multiple coordinators (Running game coordinator?  WTF?), Gopher football might finally stop resembling a game of three-card monte in which the coach is constantly trying to hide the last mistake.  These new guys make you want to root for them, so here's hoping they succeed.

Onto the schedule...

At USC
Looking at this game makes me think that Tim Brewster's motto must've been "Fake it til you make it", since the fact he turned out terrible teams never stopped him from acting the part of a big-time program.  I could be wrong on this, but isn't this the year that Texas was going to be on the schedule, until they mercifully patted Timmy on the head and withdrew?  Talk about your humanitarian gestures.  Coach Kill seems like the "we play whoever's put in front of us" type of guy, but there had to be at least a few moments this summer when he looked at the schedule and said "USC?  On the road?  Right out of the chute?  **** me!"

Prediction: Loss (0-1), but the Gophers cover the 21-point spread.

New Mexico State
If I've watched a New Mexico State football game in my life, it was purely by accident.  Nevertheless, I'm calling a win, what's knowing the opponent got to do with predicting stuff?

Prediction: Big win (1-1), Gray runs for a pair of TDs, throws two more, fans party in the streets.  Okay, maybe not, but still should be fun.

Miami - Ohio
How many years in history could you say it might be better to be playing Miami than Miami of Ohio?  Well, that's probably a stretch, even with all those players suspended.  Miami-Ohio used to really stink, but went 10-4 last year and start off with a tough test against Missouri.  That spells trouble for the Gophers.

Prediction: Loss (1-2), sloppy game leads to loss, it's a story as old as the Rose Bowl drought.

North Dakota State
Payback time.  In 2007, NDSU rolled into the Metrodome and beat the worst Gopher team, possibly ever.  This year's team is not nearly as bad as that team.  In fact no team anywhere is that bad.

Prediction: Win (2-2), but too close for comfort.

At Michigan
Given the coaching change and Michigan's atrocious defense last season, I'd be tempted to give the Gophers a chance if this were at home.  As is, I think they're defense just won't have an answer for Denard Robinson, and this game could turn into a very compelling matchup of dual-threat QBs.

Prediction: Loss (2-3), but an entertaining effort that sends fans away thinking "So close!".

At Purdue
For whatever reason, even in the darkest days of Brewdaism, Purdue has had problems with Minnesota.  Not sure why, but it couldn't have been the savvy gameplan or halftime adjustments, so why not expect it to continue?

Prediction: Win (3-3), looking sort of respectable, but now things turn kind of mean.

Nebraska
The best part of this week will be reading game previews that say "Last meeting: NEB 84-0".  This one will be closer, I'm fairly certain about that, but how much closer is anyone's guess.  At least it might finally put 84-0 to rest.

Prediction: Loss (3-4), hopefully not an embarrassing one.

Iowa
The upset of Iowa in last season's finale was the silver lining to a bad season.  This year's version comes to town down it's starting QB and several key players on the defensive line.  On paper, they look vulnerable.  Unfortunately, the Hawkeyes will still have more overall talent, and a most likely a chip on their shoulder about last year's loss.

Prediction: Loss (3-5), but in a tight game, on a late field goal.

At Michigan State
Not quite the history of some other schools in the conference, but they Spartans seem like a good team going to right direction.  They return a veteran QB from a team that won a share of the conference title, that sentence alone puts them above most Big Ten teams.

Prediction: Loss (3-6), good team and road game is a tough one to overcome.

Wisconsin
The rich get richer, as our neighbors to the east seem to have another impressive team to add to their recent run.  Granted it was UNLV, with a first-time starting QB, that came into Camp Randall last night, but I don't care if it was the Little Sisters of the Poor, the throttling was impressive.  I planned to watch some of the game, but unfortunately missed the first quarter, and that was really all their was to see.

Prediction: Loss (3-7), followed by many fans of the Evil Red Menace mocking us poor Minnesotans, our only comeback will be nodding glumly and ordering another beer.

At Northwestern
Hooray, Northwestern is still in the Big Ten!  All this realignment was making me nervous, gotta keep some beatable teams around.  Of course that's probably what they say about us.

Prediction: Win (4-7), little dicey, but they pull out a squeaker.

Illinois
Even Brew could beat Illinois.

Prediction: Win (5-7), end things on a good note.


So there it is Gopher fans, the dawn of a new era is upon you.  The good news is that it can't be as bad as the last one, the bad news is that history offers no indication that it will ever be all that good.  In Jerry We Trust, let's see what happens.