Pop quiz hotshot

Just to make sure you're all keeping up on your required reading as the weeks pass, I've devised a little pop quiz for you, loyal reader.  No going back and peeking at the answers.

1) When watching football and drinking light beer, I will often grab two cans at once, since the fridge is some distance away and I know the beer will be consumed quickly. 

Which of the following does this imply?

    a) I'm a forward-thinker
    b) I'm lazy
    c) I'm an alcoholic
    d) I'm seriously in need of a beer fridge closer to the couch

2) In the NFL power poll posted 3 weeks ago, the following need mulligans: Green Bay (#5), Baltimore (#8), Chicago (#9), New England (#10), Philadelphia (#16), New York Giants (#22).

From this information, what conclusion can be drawn?

    a) The NFL in unpredictable
    b) The guy writing this doesn't know a damn thing about football
    c) The Bears are who we thought they were
    d) Betting on games involving the Giants is a good way to get your thumbs broken

3) As a Vikings fan, which of these would you suffer through in exchange for not having to hear the words "And Jackson is up off then bench and throwing, as Favre heads back to the locker room" this season?

    a) "Dancing with the Stars" marathon
    b) Minor STD featuring burning sensation
    c) Maroon 5 concert
    d) Crushing NFC Championship Game defeat

(See what I did there?  Trick question!)

4) Why don't chicks dig me?

    a) You're honestly asking this question in your blog about sports?  Hellllooo!
    b) Could have something to do with your "two Coors at a time" approach to life
    c) The fat ones seem to like you well enough
    d) Maybe if your head wasn't perfectly square

5) Why don't chicks dig you?

    a) F**k off dude, I crush the ladies
    b) I'm married, these days I try to minimize female interactions
    c) Oh really?  That's not what your mom said!
    d) Probably because I read stuff like this

6) Was that really Brett Favre's wang?

    a) Had to be, my buddy from Wisconsin was salivating
    b) Not enough stubble
    c) Figured it would be bigger
    d) You're trying to get me to admit Googling a picture of a man's junk, aren't you?

7) Finish this sentence: In two years, Scott Baker will be...

    a) Murdered at the hands of this blog's author
    b) Involved in a special ceremony recognizing him for passing NASA on number of items put into orbit
    c) Bagging groceries
    d) Blowing leads with a befuddled look on his face, same as it ever was

8) Is the NFL overreacting to big hits?

    a) Nope, call me crazy, but I actually like to see a few players I've heard of when watching a game
    b) Those pansies had better wise up, the fastest growing sport in this country involves men bludgeoning each other with their bare hands, nuff said
    c) I'm still pissed they don't have gladiator fights anymore
    d) We need more big hits, especially on Joe Buck

9) How's your fantasy team doing?

    a) Awesome, I'm a great football mind
    b) Terrible, s**t is all luck though anyway
    c) I'll be fine once Ryan Grant comes back
    d) Which one?

10) Who should be the next Golden Gopher football coach?

    a) Glen Mason, just for the irony
    b) Goldy, he could pantomime the plays from the sidelines
    c) Mark Mangino, endless potential jokes in the "Guess losses are the only thing tough to swallow" vein
    d) Revolving weekly "Are you better than Brew?" contest winner

Good luck, I should have them graded by next week.

Week 7 picks

Last week: 7-7 (Actually week 5, I missed last week because I'm absent-minded)
Season: 29-31-2
 
BALTIMORE -14 over Buffalo - Lotta points, but the Bills are atrocious.  Bit concerned about a TD in garbage time pulling them just inside the spread, but whatever.
 
San Francisco -3 over CAROLINA - Hey, the Niners won a game, weird.  Let's make it 2 in a row and get them back in the division contender conversation.
 
Pittsburgh -3 over MIAMI - Intriguing game, just don't think Henne has the bullets to beat the Steelers.
 
TAMPA BAY -3 over St. Louis - Could be the biggest "More interesting than it looked when the schedule was released" game so far this season.
 
Washington +3 over CHICAGO - I like Jay Cutler to keep getting sacked and the Bears to continue collapsing.
 
Cleveland +14 over NEW ORLEANS - The sleeping giant that was the Saints awoke last week, but the Browns are scrappy and will keep it close before losing.
 
Philadelphia +3 over TENNESSEE - Chris Johnson explosion potential is concerning.
 
Cincinnati +3.5 over ATLANTA - Bengals coming out of the bye and the Falcons just aren't impressing me, not sure who wins, but think it's a field goal difference, give me the points.
 
KANSAS CITY -9 over Jacksonville - Not loving this, but feel strongly about the Jags sucking out loud.
 
SEATTLE -6 over Arizona - Can't pick against the Seahawks at home, Max Hall (O Fame) should get a rude awakening.
 
New England +3 over SAN DIEGO - The Chargers suck, who knew?
 
DENVER -8.5 over Oakland - Two words: Kyle Boller.
 
GREEN BAY -2.5 over Minnesota - Sorry Vikes, too many holes in the secondary, Packers can't run, but they won't need to.
 
New York Giants +3 over DALLAS - The flip side to the Tampa/St Louis game, looked like a big Monday Night tilt, now just a question of the Cowboys spoiling something for a division rival.  Highly possible we see a Giants turd here, they love messing with people.