2012 State of the 'Ville: The University of Mediocrity

I was going to talk about the University of Minnesota sports teams, but given what’s going on this week, and their recent history, I can’t muster much steam to discuss them. So football and basketball, all you get is a haiku, which is probably more than you’re worth at this point.

Gopher football:

Fits of competence
Can’t mask the reality
They're still sh*tty

Gopher basketball:

Tubby Smith can’t stop
A winless Big Ten Season
Start cheating again

You can go on and on about how to fix these broken programs, but the bottom line is they’ve been bad for a long time and at the moment might be worse than ever. Understanding that a lot of passion exists for these teams, it hasn’t been enough to turn the tide for a very long time. Flashes of competence have appeared, and frankly that’s really all we’re asking for at this point. The bar has been lowered to such an extreme that a winning season or tourney berth might be just cause to overturn a car or two in Dinkytown. Well be back for the fall hope sale, at the moment, there’s not much to discuss.

Where there is something to discuss, for the first time in a couple seasons, is on the hockey front, where the University’s one consistent performer appears to have shaken off its recent slump. After back-to-back years of missing the NCAA tourney, the maroon-and-gold seem to have righted itself and are looking like a lock to make the field this spring. Of course, being a fan of the University of North Dakota (team name omitted), I am duty bound to hate the Golden Rodents. While I may not begrude succes to many friends who count themselves fans, I cannot in good conscience root for them.  Probably a lucky thing, as my support has never boded well for any other Minnesota athletic endeavors.

This weekend is one that has come to be circled on the calendar, as three of the past four years, the second week in January has been host to both the NFL Divisional playoffs and a Sioux-Gophers hockey series. This is the first year that the Sioux will not officially be known as the Sioux, having officially retired the name at the end of last year, but I will continue to call them as such, regardless of what the PC terrorists at the NCAA have instructed. You can have my nickname when you pry it from my cold, dead hands. For future reference, please note that the tribes required to give approval likely supported the Fighting Sioux, but they were not allowed to voice said support through a binding vote. Just in case some schmuck tells you otherwise, this wasn’t about helping anybody, just the college sports authority trying to take people’s eye off the ball.

It’s a bit amazing that the NCAA has the time to go about writing societal wrongs of this type, seeing as how they can’t even create system to crown a football champion that’s worth a f*ck. But this horse has been beaten to death over the years, not going to be belabor the point it again. Just had to get in a few shots at a corrupt, money-grubbing organization who exercises it’s outrage selectively, against only those wrongs that don’t impact its bottom line. This has been an unfair, despicable process to watch unfold, but it is what it is, and it’s over, just like this rant.

Because even if it doesn’t say ‘Sioux’ on the front of the jersey, the hockey games this weekend are going to be just as fun to attend, and just as huge in the standings for a UND team that got out of the gate slowly. It’s been 20 years since one of these teams swept a 4-game season series from the other, and since I’ll be in attendance for both tilts, I’m really hoping that this isn’t the year when that steak is broken. The Gophers may be in the catbird seat, but the guys in green have quite a bit of work to do, fortunately this is usually the time of year that they start taking care of business. This post from a year ago captures my personal history with the matchup; beyond that, there’s not much to say but GO SIOUX!

NFL Playoff Picks

Just when I start to think I'll be able to sit and watch sports like a sane adult, something comes along to set me off.  Last Sunday, watching God's own virginal soldier Tim Tebow lead the Denver Broncos to victory was one of those things.  Back in November 2010, when Tebowmania was just in it's infant stages, I declared him an official sports nemesis.  So of course, it's not surprising to see the success he's enjoyed since.  As usual, it's not the man (or the band, or the fad, or the show) that I hate, it's the disciples who wander around, incessantly touting it's virtues.  If Tim Tebow were just another mediocre passer, that would be that, but unfortunately he brings along extra baggage that I'm sure you're all aware of.

At times earlier this season, my view softened, due to the enjoyment of improbably Bronco wins that featured almost zero discernable quarterback play.  Unfortunately I never imagined this trend would show up to start compromising the NFL postseason.  The enjoyable part of it was the circus-freak quality, passes in the dirt and 3-for-15 performance that somehow spelled victory.  Watching last Sunday was like having your son bring the bearded lady home to dinner, okay on a midway, not so much in the living room.

And he's just such a lucky bastard!  It always irritates me when teams make a game they don't belong in through good fortune, inevitably compromising the entertainment value when they do.  Last season's Bears team had no business in the NFC Championship game, but thanks to a string of regular-season games against 3rd-string QBS, and an improbable upset by Seattle, there they were.  I hated them for that, and it's was much the same with Tebow.

But then something happened, and it's the thing I hate happening when I get worked into a nice lather with a good case of sports hate: Perspective crept in.  You watch the press conference from last week's game, and one of the first things he brings up is comforting a sick girl before the game.  Dang.  Every quote is dripping with humbleness, praise of teammates, just the general qualities you hope the people in the public eye possess.  You're making it very tough to dislike you Tim.

Of course there are the twelve mentions of God in two minutes, it's at the point where the sound of his voice causes my eyes to roll involuntarily.

But anyway, officially flip-flopping for the 27th time and softening my stance on Tebow.  Let the chips fall where they may, if he can pull off a miracle and win the Super Bowl, well then I'm officially a believer in that Mayan end-of-days prophecy, somebody save me a seat at church.

Of course if he guides his team there, then hands the Packers another championship with a 5-27, 39 yard stinkbomb, we're back to square one.


New Orleans (-3.5) @ San Francisco

It would be great to see the 49ers win this game, but I just don't see it happening.  You can definitely make the argument, they're at home, outdoors, on grass.  The defense has been great and you know the team will be jacked up.

But you know the Saints are going to score some points, and being able to spread the Niners out, totally negating the strength of their run defense, gives them the nod to victory in my mind.  New Orleans will score, and I don't like an Alex Smith-led offense's chances of answering.  Of course I'm also the guy who thought T.J. Yates had no chance of winning a playoff game last week, so what do I know?

The pick: New Orleans 27, San Francisco 20


Denver @ New England (-13.5)

Two reasons:

This line is huge.
I'm done betting against Tebow in the playoffs when it's obvious he has mystical forces on his side.

It was my mistake reading too much into the hiccups down the stretch in December.  I'd imagine God as a sports entity is kind of like Phil Jackson, he might allow some things to slip during the regular season, but you know he's going to have things locked in come playoff time.  It doesn't matter if the Holy Ghost (Kobe) is pouting about not getting top billing or Jesus (Shaq) spends the first few months of the season playing himself into shape, when that bell rings, it will be answered.

And I will not be on the wrong side of another Tebow victory cover.

The pick: New England 31, Denver 20


Houston @ Baltimore (-7.5)

The Joe Flacco coming out party that quiets his doubters and shows he's a big-time QB?

Or the Joe Flacco collapse that starts Ravens fans down the "we'll never win anything with Flacco!" path?

Neither would surprise me, but the combination of Baltimore being undefeated at home and the belief that T.J. Yates has to fold eventually (right?) has me leaning toward a fairly easy Ravens victory.  Not to mention I don't think a Texans defensive end will manage to grab a pick-six on a pass thrown while he was standing about two feet from the quarterback!  Forget the 80-yard pass to end the Denver game, for my money that was the most amazing play of the weekend.  Not breaking fingers on that play would've been good, never mind a catch and return.

The pick: Baltimore 27, Houston 17


New York Giants @ Green Bay (-7.5)

Of all the games happening this weekend, this is the one I will be rooting the hardest for.  My favorite remaining team taking on the hated Cheeseheads from the state next door, not much could be finer than a Giant victory.

Unfortunately, I don't like the vibe of what I'm hearing, there are just a few too many people giving the Giants a bit too good of a chance.  We are, after all, talking about a 15-win team, playing at home, against the most inconsistent squad in the league.  Tell me all you want about how the Giants have the right kind of team to beat the Packers, how they can get pressure with their front four, and they almost beat them last time.  I'd love to agree, but I just don't think so, too many good vibes are a bad thing for the G-Men, they need to be given no chance to succeed.  Although for gambling purposes, sure would be nice if this line was 6 1/2.

The pick: Green Bay 35, New York Giants 24

It's Always Darkest Before the Dawn: 2011 Gopher Football Preview

Ding dong, the Brew is dead, and it's time to kick off another season in Minnesota's favorite ongoing saga: Will the Golden Gophers ever make it back to the Rose Bowl?

This is a historic year in the run of football futility at the U of M, as it officially marks a half-century since the team last appeared in a Rose Bowl.  One fan I know is quick to point out that they last shared a Big Ten title in 1967, but were denied a Bowl berth due to a tiebreaker, so technically this is only year 44.  Making a clarification like that is like pointing out to your buddies that the girl you brought home last night only weighed 243 lbs., not the deuce-and-a-half that they claim.

So we're going with 50, it's a nice round number that I find psychologically satisfying.  Sure it's a long time in the context of college football or a human life, but is it really all that long in the grander scheme of things?  After all, if we were talking about a giant sequoia, or an ice age, 50 years would barely be a blip.  Considered it in those terms, the current run seems pretty minor.  And people say I can't do positivity.

But beyond the easy jokes to be made at the expense of Minnesota football, there are actually some reasons to be excited about the upcoming season.  Talent is not one of them.  Experience is not either.  But if you lack talented and experienced players, the least you can do is hire a competent guy to coach them up, and it appears they've finally done so.  Coach Jerry Kill may succeed spectacularly at Minnesota, or he could fail miserably, but one thing is for certain, the man is a football coach.  The same could never be said with any certainty about the prior holder of that title.

There won't be any rah-rah nonsense in this post, just like there hasn't been any coming from Dinkytown the past few months.  Unlike the Brewsterian one, Coach Kill has set a very low-key tone, at least in terms of hyping his team in the media.  Instead of invoking the words "Rose Bowl" from day one, he's saying what anyone who's been paying attention knows to be true: Getting the program back to competency is going to be a process that will take a good amount of time.

Frankly competency is all we need at this point, after some serious lowlights the past few years.  It was enough to hearken back to the Glen Mason days, when blowing 30-point second half leads was an acceptable trade off for the occasional upset of a power team and the feeling that the team at least had a chance at victory every time it took the field.  Mase had warts, but Brew was a toad, the warts aren't looking so bad these days.

Of course the ultimate goal will still be returning to the Rose Bowl, but in the meantime we'll be searching for any bright spots that offer hope for the future.  Get used to the phrases "tempered enthusiasm", as it's going to be used frequently in the next few months.  With slight variation, every local team that will kick off a season from now until the end of the year has essentially the same expectations: Be competitive, win some games, develop some players and just generally give the feeling that this thing is moving in the right direction.

The roster loaded with freshmen and sophomores, the starting QB is new (albeit experienced), and the schedule is tough.  But after watching what a bit of competent coaching could do ending last season, it's hard to believe the cupboard is totally bare.  Even if it is, it's hard to believe anything worse than last season's atrocious loss to South Dakota is going to happen.  We'll get to find out what kind of quarterback Marqueis Gray has the potential to be, how much life can be injected into a lousy defense with some new schemes, and generally what a consistent approach can do for a football program.

Perhaps the most anti-Brewster trait that Jerry Kill possesses is his consistent approach.  Same style, same coordinators, year in, year out.  After several schizophrenic seasons of new offenses, new coordinators, multiple coordinators (Running game coordinator?  WTF?), Gopher football might finally stop resembling a game of three-card monte in which the coach is constantly trying to hide the last mistake.  These new guys make you want to root for them, so here's hoping they succeed.

Onto the schedule...

At USC
Looking at this game makes me think that Tim Brewster's motto must've been "Fake it til you make it", since the fact he turned out terrible teams never stopped him from acting the part of a big-time program.  I could be wrong on this, but isn't this the year that Texas was going to be on the schedule, until they mercifully patted Timmy on the head and withdrew?  Talk about your humanitarian gestures.  Coach Kill seems like the "we play whoever's put in front of us" type of guy, but there had to be at least a few moments this summer when he looked at the schedule and said "USC?  On the road?  Right out of the chute?  **** me!"

Prediction: Loss (0-1), but the Gophers cover the 21-point spread.

New Mexico State
If I've watched a New Mexico State football game in my life, it was purely by accident.  Nevertheless, I'm calling a win, what's knowing the opponent got to do with predicting stuff?

Prediction: Big win (1-1), Gray runs for a pair of TDs, throws two more, fans party in the streets.  Okay, maybe not, but still should be fun.

Miami - Ohio
How many years in history could you say it might be better to be playing Miami than Miami of Ohio?  Well, that's probably a stretch, even with all those players suspended.  Miami-Ohio used to really stink, but went 10-4 last year and start off with a tough test against Missouri.  That spells trouble for the Gophers.

Prediction: Loss (1-2), sloppy game leads to loss, it's a story as old as the Rose Bowl drought.

North Dakota State
Payback time.  In 2007, NDSU rolled into the Metrodome and beat the worst Gopher team, possibly ever.  This year's team is not nearly as bad as that team.  In fact no team anywhere is that bad.

Prediction: Win (2-2), but too close for comfort.

At Michigan
Given the coaching change and Michigan's atrocious defense last season, I'd be tempted to give the Gophers a chance if this were at home.  As is, I think they're defense just won't have an answer for Denard Robinson, and this game could turn into a very compelling matchup of dual-threat QBs.

Prediction: Loss (2-3), but an entertaining effort that sends fans away thinking "So close!".

At Purdue
For whatever reason, even in the darkest days of Brewdaism, Purdue has had problems with Minnesota.  Not sure why, but it couldn't have been the savvy gameplan or halftime adjustments, so why not expect it to continue?

Prediction: Win (3-3), looking sort of respectable, but now things turn kind of mean.

Nebraska
The best part of this week will be reading game previews that say "Last meeting: NEB 84-0".  This one will be closer, I'm fairly certain about that, but how much closer is anyone's guess.  At least it might finally put 84-0 to rest.

Prediction: Loss (3-4), hopefully not an embarrassing one.

Iowa
The upset of Iowa in last season's finale was the silver lining to a bad season.  This year's version comes to town down it's starting QB and several key players on the defensive line.  On paper, they look vulnerable.  Unfortunately, the Hawkeyes will still have more overall talent, and a most likely a chip on their shoulder about last year's loss.

Prediction: Loss (3-5), but in a tight game, on a late field goal.

At Michigan State
Not quite the history of some other schools in the conference, but they Spartans seem like a good team going to right direction.  They return a veteran QB from a team that won a share of the conference title, that sentence alone puts them above most Big Ten teams.

Prediction: Loss (3-6), good team and road game is a tough one to overcome.

Wisconsin
The rich get richer, as our neighbors to the east seem to have another impressive team to add to their recent run.  Granted it was UNLV, with a first-time starting QB, that came into Camp Randall last night, but I don't care if it was the Little Sisters of the Poor, the throttling was impressive.  I planned to watch some of the game, but unfortunately missed the first quarter, and that was really all their was to see.

Prediction: Loss (3-7), followed by many fans of the Evil Red Menace mocking us poor Minnesotans, our only comeback will be nodding glumly and ordering another beer.

At Northwestern
Hooray, Northwestern is still in the Big Ten!  All this realignment was making me nervous, gotta keep some beatable teams around.  Of course that's probably what they say about us.

Prediction: Win (4-7), little dicey, but they pull out a squeaker.

Illinois
Even Brew could beat Illinois.

Prediction: Win (5-7), end things on a good note.


So there it is Gopher fans, the dawn of a new era is upon you.  The good news is that it can't be as bad as the last one, the bad news is that history offers no indication that it will ever be all that good.  In Jerry We Trust, let's see what happens.

All the negativity in this town sucks

It's come to my attention recently that some people feel most of what I write is overly negative.  There's even been concern expressed over my mental well-being.  To take the second point first, let me assure you that I am fine, and not suffering any ill effects from the constant stream of bad news that has been the last year of Minnesota sports.  After so many letdowns, only great disappointment has the power to wound, and in order to be greatly disappointed, you must first have some kind of expectations.  Save for the Fighting Sioux hockey team, there hasn't been much in the way of expectations during the last cycle of the calendar.  Falls don't hurt so bad when you've only climbed to the first rung of the ladder, the current situation is rolling over me like water off a duck's back.

As to the first point, the blog is called Loserville for a reason, and man has this town been living up to that moniker lately.  Although I trend negative due to years of experience, there have been nuggets of optimism sprinkled through these posts.  Sure the doldrums of summer tend to get me down, but the last post was packed with upcoming highlights of the fall season, what could be more optimistic than that?  I picked the Twins to win the division and Gopher football team to win 7 games last year, that's looks like optimism bordering on delusion at this point.

But being that we're on the cusp of a new season, it's probably a good time to pump things up and get excited about the prospects of the various local teams.  There will be plenty of time to lament failure later on.  If sports had it's own calendar, then August 31st would be New Year's Eve; tomorrow September starts, and with it comes fresh versions of football, hockey and basketball teams at all levels.  Baseball has it's own weird calendar that doesn't really fit, like it's run by the Mayans or something, but for the rest of the world, the slate has been wiped clean, and it's time to get rolling.

So now, I will attempt my most difficult feat.  In a town where all four professional teams have missed the playoffs, the college football team was not bowl-eligible, the college basketball team failed to qualify for March Madness and the college hockey team couldn't make it's own conference tourney, I am going to be 100% positive:

Sure, it's been a rough season for the Twins, but have you ever seen a team with this many injury issues?  They got a little fat and happy with their new stadium and division championship last season, and things slipped a bit, but give it a year and they'll be back on top, looking down at the Tigers and White Sox like they've done all decade.  Plenty of money coming off the books, the young guys continue to improve, things will be just fine.

Sure, the Wolves have been an NBA laughingstock for the last few seasons and will likely start the season in a lockout, but all signs point to Rick Adelman as the new coaching hire, which could be a game-changer for the franchise.  We'll give them a mulligan on the Rambis thing, he was a bad fit from the start, and it was good that they recognized their mistake and cut their losses.  With all the young talent on this team, there's a lot to be excited about, all it will take is a patient coach who knows how to tap into said talent, and Adelman is likely that guy.

Sure, the Wild made a bunch of signings that killed their cap flexibility in the present and future, but with some of those contracts coming off the books and a few savvy trades, they have the look of a playoff contender.  The young defenseman will need to step up, along with the goaltending, but the upcoming Wild squad appears to have more scoring punch than any version since the days of a healthy Marian Gaborik, which we know weren't many.

Sure, the Vikings missed their window, and are entering a transitional period, but who's to say what will happen in an NFL season?  Although it's going to take a lot of luck to get over .500, worse teams than this have qualified for the playoffs, it's the one league where (almost) every team truly has a shot.  Heck, the Bears won 11 games last year, and I'm not sure they were markedly more talented that this year's Vikings squad, a couple breaks can go a long way.

Sure, the Gopher football team was atrocious last season, but the finish they put together made it more clear than ever that the biggest problem with the team was gameday coaching.  Winning 2 out of 3 Big Ten games to finish out isn't exactly cause for celebration, but it is something to build on, and reminds us that you can't overstate the importance of not being coached by Tim Brewster when it comes to winning football games.  At least the current guy running things is somebody you want to root for, not someone who seems like he should be trying to sell your the undercoat package on a 2004 Chrysler Seabring.

Sure, the Gopher hoops team finished far below expectations, but there were plenty of bright spots before the team got decimated by defections and injuries.  At various points during the season, the team was on solid footing, only to have the rug pulled by yet another injury.  The silver lining is the experience that last year's freshman got, and will be bringing into this season.  Toss in what's been, by all accounts, a solid recruiting class, and there's no reason to expect a repeat of last year's limp to the finish.

Sure, Gopher hockey has fallen on hard times, but the fact remains that it will always have one of the most talented rosters in the country, and the most oft-cited problem with the coaching staff has been rectified.  Nobody is saynig national championship, but it can't be ignored that the Gophers played their best against top teams, beating 3 of the 4 Frozen Four participants last season.  Adding some consistency to that high-end play should at least get the team back in the NCAA tourney this season, and from there, who knows?

Alright, I hope that helped, doubtful that it will be a frequent occurrence as things play out, but there's no reason to pile on too heavy at this point.

As I've said, plenty of time for that once the games start :)

Downside risk

What the heck is going on here?  I leave the country for a few days and all hell breaks loose.

Last Wednesday I crossed the border into Canada for a few days of fishing.  At the time the Twins still had a pulse (admittedly a very faint one), the United States a AAA credit rating and the Dow was above 12,000.  Now the baseball team has had it's final coffin nail pounded, treasury bonds are about as reliable as the Seahawks QB situation and the economy is a shambles.  But hey, you still had a better weekend than Rhett Bomar.

A weekend of fishing, drinking and, most importantly card playing, reminded me once again of the power of expectations.  I've said it before, and I'll say it again, bad results can be good, and good results bad, depending on what you were expecting going in.  Many games of cribbage were played during the past few days, at $5 a pop.  For those of you unfamiliar with the scoring, a game goes to 120 points, if you fail to score 90, the amount you owe is doubled, and failing to reach 60 points means a $15 hit.  Several games started off extremely poorly, raising the spectre of doubling or tripling the amount lost.  When that occurred, I was quite happy to make a late push past 90, losing big, but still only losing the $5 minimum.  Naturally, this made me think of Tim Brewster, the all-time king of meaningless late scores to make ugly losses more palatable.

Brew was a perfect example of what happens when you serve hambugers after telling people they're going to get filet mignon  Said burgers might be tasty enough to a starving man (read: Gopher football fan), but will always end in disappointment when steak was on the menu.  As we close the book on our high-expectations squad (Twins), in favor of a couple who's bar will be decidedly lower (Vikings, Gophers), I'm reminded that it's not always bad to be bad.  Sure there are a few consistent homers out there trying to push the best case scenario, but in general things are nice and calm.  The bandwagon is emptier these days, but the company is better and you can stretch out a bit.  Teams in rebuilding mode cause you to accentuate the positive, seeing something done right is a refreshing change from the standard rule of failure.  Teams with championship aspirations draw more eyes, and the associated scrutiny, with every misstep being picked apart until you're not even sure if your good team is good anymore.

In a broader context, take the recent economy.  People get upset about the stock market dropping because it harms their wealth, and likely causes concerns about their retirement.  But if you recalibrate your expectations, and simply assume you'll be working until the day you drop dead, then a 20% drop in your 401k isn't really a big deal.  Marketing research shows that people respond more favorably to the removal of negative stimuli than they do to the introduction of a positive one.  In other words, they're more likely to buy a $90 item that you tell them will be going up $10 in the near future than a $100 item on sale for $10 off.  The price may be the same, but the expectations drive different behavior.  The expect failure, deal with success mantra can sometimes be the best way to approach life.

In other words, the Vikings are going to lose $5 this season, but maybe, if they're lucky, they can avoid dropping $10 or $15.

And with that thought, Happy Monday :)

Kill Me Now

Well you got the breakdown of who Derek wanted a couple weeks ago, so of course you've got to be clamoring to his reaction on who the University of Minnesota ultimately hired in it's latest attempt to resurrect it's dormant (that's dormant, not doormat) football program.  The consensus around town seems to be that if you like puns, it's a Kill-er move, otherwise not so much:

In a word: Underwhelming. When I heard his name on Friday, I thought I might like it more, but I just can’t get excited yet, perhaps because of all the initial negativity. Frankly, that shouldn’t bother me, because none of the commenters on the Strib, or people in the media, know much about college football, so I just need some time for this to sink in.


Maturi obviously couldn’t sell it to any of my top 7 or 8 guys, and had to start bouncing down his list. Sounds like we are paying him about $1M per season, which is not the “$2M-plus” that I had heard we had available to hire a big name guy. Having a new Prez and being a lame-duck AD didn’t help us either obviously. I have never been a hater of Maturi like many others. (I am not a huge fan or anything, but he has done some great things for the Athletic Dept.) He is an honest, passionate guy, but just doesn’t have the charisma to sell this job to anyone of note. His first mistake was to ridiculously declare that he was going to make a “Tubby Smith-like” hire. While that is fine as an aspiration, don’t set us up for disappointment by actually saying it. To get a major coach in basketball to come to the U is a realistic expectation, for football, just been too long since we were good.



On the hire itself, my pros and cons as of now:



Pros:


• He has 17 years of head-coaching experience, so he won’t have to learn that on the job like Brew did or like Chryst (Wisco OC that was reportedly on the radar this week, but Joel already promised he wouldn’t hire another guy without HC experience) would have.


• His coordinators are extremely loyal to him. He has had success, and anytime you have that, you often have coordinators that look for other jobs. IMHO, the biggest problem of the Brewster era (there were a few) was three offensive and three defensive coordinators in four years. Nearly impossible to gain momentum when that happens. We shouldn’t have this problem with Kill.


• He has had success everywhere he has been, slowing rising on the ladder.


• Say what you want about this, but he is a cancer survivor. He knows adversity, and won’t crumble under it like Brewster, Mason, Wacker, Gutekunst, Salem, et. al.


• He has a pretty cool surname. Lots of creative things we can do with the word “Kill”.


• From a money standpoint, at $1M per season, we probably won’t have another Mason/Monson situation where we hamstring ourselves for years buying out their contracts. I hate that I am listing this as a “pro”; almost like I am expecting this guy to fail.


Cons:


• Most of his experience is not FBS, only three years at NIU. And he hadn’t even had a “great” year until this season at NIU.


• He doesn’t appear to have the charisma that it takes to recruit. And, frankly, there aren’t a ton of big battles that you are involved in by coaching in the MAC. It is a good mid-level conference overall, but these schools are searching among the two-star recruits, and there are hundreds and hundreds of those, and most of them likely have just one or two offers.


• People saying that he “turned around” Northern Illinois aren’t 100% accurate. Yes, in 2007, the year before his arrival, they went 2-10, but they had a ton of injuries that year and actually had winnings seasons from 2000-2006, and made two bowl games in there. So, it’s not like he stepped into Doormat U, righted all the wrongs and had success.


• He just isn’t the sexy hire we needed to inject life into the program. I can completely understand the lack of interest in Mike Leach. The guy is a prick, doesn’t get along with people, is suing his former school, locks players in closets, has some baggage, and the list goes on. But, at some point you have to roll the dice. When Golden, Hoke, Calhoun, and Fedora weren’t interested, you need to see the writing on the wall, and get him in for an interview, at the very least. You could have structured the contract in a way that would absolve the University of responsibility if he did certain things that he has done in his past. He would have sold tickets, and right now.


• The continued apathy for the football program won’t help to raise money for anything else. Yes, we are saving money on hiring him that may be spent on the new baseball stadium or the basketball practice facility. But, when you have a good football program, all ships rise. If he wins, they will come back, but that may take a while.

 

In the end, no one truly has any idea whatsoever how he will do. We are upset because we think the chances are smaller, but we have no idea. Current case in point: Gene Chizik (5-19 at Iowa State before hired as HC at Auburn) took the Gophers defensive coordinator (typically not good defensive football) with him and is playing for the national title. So, only time will tell.



Bottom line: Gopher football is my favorite team on the planet (insert one-liners here), and he is my coach, and I will support the coach from right now going forward. That’s the thing about college sports, players and coaches alike make the decision to come be a part of my team, so I will support them. Go Kill!!!



A couple ways that I will be monitoring his abilities/progress prior to the start of the season:



• National signing day is February 2, 2011. Do we keep all 15 commits that we currently have (14 three-star kids and one two-star kid)? We are currently rated 6th in the Big Ten for next year’s class, so not great, but decent. Do we get additional guys that have the U on their radar? Most importantly in my mind, do we keep Max Shortell? See link below. I like the sound of a 6-6 qb who plays pro-style offense.

http://rivals.yahoo.com/minnesota/football/recruiting/player-Max-Shortell-95202;_ylt=AmVgDaMQXKrbMQM9Sb3oEnXPspB4


• Is he visible? Probably Brewster’s greatest asset (that turned into a negative over time), was his ability to get people excited, to be positive and to get press on the Gopher program. Do we see articles in the Strib during the offseason? Does he have passion?



Here’s to 2011. We open against USC (yes, that USC) in Los Angeles on September 3rd. I plan to be there with The Killer.



Go Gophers! Ski-U-Mah!



For my one-liner, I will go with: Have you considered trying out another planet?  But serious, I think we all hope things go well and this hire isn't Kill-ing our chances at a turnaround.
 
That will not get old for a very long time.

Return to Respectability

So everyone is talking about Brad Childress getting fired this week, and that's all well and good.  The mayor was never a Chilly fan and felt his success was more due to an ever-expanding payroll than anything else.  Nobody will convince me that Mike Tice, who was generally thought of as a buffoon, couldn't have accomplished the same things if given the same resources.  Frankly I think he probably would've done better.

But the discussion of the Vikings is a much bigger production than I have the patience to delve into today, the team is at a crossroads, rest assured it will be examined thoroughly down the line.  Your excitement at this prospect is so palpable I can feel in through the keyboard.

Instead, we're going to stay in the same vein of teams at a crossroads, but go a slightly different way.  Partially because this week is the final weekend of the Gopher football season (as if you didn't already know) and partially because I have a slight hangover, I'm handing over the reins to my pal Derek, the most knowledgeable college football fan I know, with some thoughts on the Gophers upcoming coaching hire:


As a Gopher football fan, I grow weary of looking forward. I can’t revel in past success, as I am only 35. (We may have had the most dominant program in the country from 1934 to 1960, but I get annoyed with Packer fans bringing up their dominance in the WWII era, so I can’t be hypocritical and do the same.) I can’t look at the present too often because the last 40 years have only produced a handful seasons that one would call “successful”. So, as usual, unless I can revel in another “who-cares” bowl appearance with a straight face, I have to look forward.


Each time we have hired a new coach in the 20 years that I have been closely following Gopher football, I am filled with anticipation that THIS will be OUR Barry Alvarez; the guy that can take us to the Rose Bowl. In just four years, Alvarez took Wisconsin, one of the biggest doormats in college football for decades, from 1-10 and averaging less than 30,000 fans per game, to the Rose Bowl in 1994.


Who is that guy for the U? Who is the guy that can win recruiting battles like Brewster, coach offense like Mason, and actually build a respectable defense? Joel Maturi has suggested he wants to bring in a “name” like he did with Tubby Smith for basketball. Kudos to Joel for getting Tubby, and aspiring to do the same on the gridiron. But while that might be possible with Gopher basketball, as we have a program that has a tradition of respectability (even went to the Final Four in 1997, trust me, I remember), I don’t think that is possible any longer with Gopher football. It has just been too long since we were good.


Let’s break it down a bit:


The UofM football coach is a good job. It is good even compared to some others within our own conference:
• We have the nicest stadium in the country, bar none (yes, there are stadiums with more history and tradition, but none are nicer)


• We are located in a major metropolitan area with all the amenities one could desire (save the weather from mid-November through mid-March)


• In an apples-to-apples comparison of total spend on the program (i.e., NOT the Sid Hartman numbers) we rank 6th in the conference, so we are putting in money on coaches, recruiting, facilities (okay, yes, this is probably a major reason we are 6th, and not much worse), scholarships, etc…


• We are willing to pay big dollars to a new coach (e.g., Tubby Smith was the highest paid in the country in his first year, has since slipped to about 10th, but the money is there).


• The bar is relatively low here (notice me taking the main reason some one wouldn’t want the job and turning it into a positive). You simply get us to the Rose Bowl, the job is yours for at least the next decade and we may build a statue of you outside the stadium.

There are names bubbling all over the blogosphere, some very realistic and some very unrealistic, but these are my top choices. Just so you know, my list includes the following criteria:


1) 50 years old is about my limit. Sure, it would be nice to get Phil Fulmer to come in here and turn things around, but he is already 62 and might not be interested in more than a few years of service. I want a long-term guy.


2) They have a resume that includes head coaching experience in Division 1-A (FBS). We may hire Leslie Frazier or Marc Trestman, but I think we have an obligation to get a guy who has had success in the role we are hiring for. Pro coaches have it easier as the players are simply presented to them, they have very little “recruiting” to do. Great coordinators have promise, but haven’t been the head guy. If we were in another situation, I would be open to other options, but we can’t miss this time.


3) I have heard them mentioned in connection with the job by a reputable source, indicating that they are indeed on the radar. Would I like Nick Saban to leave Alabama and come to Minnesota? Sure. But, I am trying to be grounded in reality here. For example, I am not including Chris Peterson or Gary Patterson because those guys have had such tremendous success at small schools that they can have any job they want, meaning I think they are waiting for USC, Florida, Michigan, Notre Dame, etc… to open up and REALLY cash in on the big stage.


My list (incidentally, you can go to The Daily Gopher and read HUGE profiles on each one of these guys, and many more):


1) Al Golden – my top choice for the job. He is in his fifth year as head coach at Temple University, going 1-11, 4-8, 5-7, 9-4 and a bowl berth, and is 8-2 this year. If you can win at Temple, you can win anywhere. Temple isn’t in the Big East like the good ol’ days, but he has found a way to turnaround a program that has underachieved for some time. He has recently been a candidate for the job at Cincinnati where he pulled his name, and Tennessee where he wasn’t selected. Prior to Temple he was the defensive coordinator for Virginia and coached Linebackers at Penn State (LB U) and Boston College. He knows his defense. Plus, can you THINK of a better name for a guy to coach the Golden Gophers!?!?!


2) Brady Hoke – like this guy because he turned around Ball State, took them to 12-1 in his sixth and final year there, and is currently in the midst of his second season at San Diego State where he has brought them to 7-2 and within a hair of beating TCU on the road last week. Prior to Ball State he coached D-Line at Michigan for 8 years, D-Line at Oregon State for 6, and various other defensive coaching positions prior to that. He also knows his defense, sensing my theme? He is 51 years old, but I gave him a pass because it is so close. San Diego State’s AD used to be the assistant AD at the U. So, we might have to fight him for this guy.


3) Mike Leach – The biggest “name” on the list, this guy needs no introduction. Led Texas Tech to the most prolific offense in the nation for a decade, and is currently out of work. He didn’t end his term with Texas Tech very well as he allegedly locked a kid with a concussion in a dark closet as treatment. Personally, I don’t think it would have been near as big a deal if that kid had not been the son of an ESPN analyst, but I digress. This guy coaches offense like nobody’s business, but coaches defense like Glen Mason. And, the Big 12 is notorious for not playing defense, so would his schemes translate? Plus, I don’t think Minnesota wants to bring in anybody that has questions about their character. I would be happy if he was named coach though, as this would put us back on the map immediately.


4) Larry Fedora – Currently in his third year as head coach at Southern Mississippi. He is 48 years old and a passionate guy, who can recruit. (And by “recruit” I mean win battles for kids against bigger and better schools.) His first two years he went 7-6, but this season appears to be coming together for him as they are 7-3. He knows his offense, as he was the Offensive Coordinator at Florida for Ron Zook and was the Offensive Coordinator at Oklahoma State. I love his passion, that is why I have him high on my list. But, Tim Brewster had passion too, and that didn’t work out so well.


5) Troy Calhoun – Currently the head coach at Air Force. He has brought Air Force to some decent seasons, nothing better than 9-4, but that is really good at Air Force considering their recruiting disadvantages. He has been the Offensive Coordinator at Wake Forest and Ohio, where both schools achieved tremendous success. He was recently with the Denver Broncos as a “defensive assistant” and was the Offensive Coordinator for one year with the Houston Texans. His name was mentioned frequently early in the search, but Shooter had a column earlier this week suggesting that he has not been contacted by the U. I think that is a mistake if he is interested, because he brings a lot to the table, but I wouldn’t put him ahead of the previous four


The second tier (I would be merely satisfied to get one of these guys, not excited)


6) Kevin Sumlin – He was the initial most-often-mentioned-name but that steam has cooled as of late. Currently the head coach at the University of Houston. He is African-American, and I know that the current regime puts importance on diversity. He has served under Bob Stoops at Oklahoma as Co-Offensive Coordinator (not sure exactly what that position means) as well as Offensive Coordinator at Texas A&M. This guy knows his offense. He runs the spread offense, which scares me a bit. I personally think we are going to return to relevance with a solid defense that has good schemes, so that is why he isn’t at the top of my list. This year the Cougars are just 5-5, so he is losing some momentum there as well.


7) Randy Edsall – head coach at Connecticut and has had solid success. Since they became D-1 and joined the relatively weak Big East Conference in 2004, his best record is 9-4, with a couple 8-5’s as well. So, no breakthrough season as yet. He has coached both sides of the ball as an assistant, and is a very passionate guy.


8) DeWayne Walker – former Gopher and head coach at New Mexico State, but his record there is awful. Some success as D-Coordinator of UCLA.




Others mentioned:


1) Jim Harbaugh – seen his name often, would go nuts if he was hired, but it’s not realistic to expect him to come here. Creating a great program at Stanford, maybe want to return to the Big Ten, but he will probably be patient and wait for Rich Rodriguez to get fired at Michigan and returnit’s not realistic to expect him to come here. Creating a great program at Stanford, maybe want to return to the Big Ten, but he will probably be patient and wait for Rich Rodriguez to get fired at Michigan and return to his alma mater.


2) Mark Mangino – another controversial, and large, figure. I doubt the U is interested, and Tim Brewster was a close friend, so I don’t see him as a real candidate. But he won at Kansas, which was unthinkable upon his arrival.


3) Mike Stoops – currently the head coach at Arizona. Maybe he wants to return closer to home as he is from the Midwest, think he lived in Ohio, and South Dakota for a while, but he has a solid thing going at Arizona, and not sure why he would want to leave there beyond this.


I expect us to hire our new coach by mid-December. If we wait any longer than that, we are hurting ourselves. Colorado is a similar program that is also searching, and we need to move quickly. I think Maturi understands that as well. And, if we don’t have a guy by then, it means we are being turned down. Here’s to 2011 Gopher football!!! Ski-U-Mah.


Great stuff D, the education is much appreciated, here's hoping we get one of the 4 in your top 5 not named Mike Leach.  Frankly I'm intrigued by Larry Fedora, guy has gotta have an awesome hat collection, right?




NFL Picks

Last week: 8-8 (Meh)
Overall: 69-59-3

Ben
Last week: 8-8 (Double meh)
Overall: 30-23-1

Brent
Last week: 11-5 (Performances like this are a good way to get banned from Loserville)
Overall: 31-23-1


New England -6.5 over DETROIT
New Orleans -4 over DALLAS
NEW YORK JETS -9 over Cincinnati
Minnesota +1.5 over WASHINGTON
Pittsburgh -6.5 over BUFFALO
HOUSTON -6.5 over Tennessee
NEW YORK GIANTS -7 over Jacksonville
CLEVELAND -11 over Carolina
Tampa Bay +7.5 over BALTIMORE
Philadelphia -3.5 over CHICAGO
Green Bay +2 over ATLANTA
OAKLAND -3 over Miami
Kansas City -1.5 over SEATTLE
St. Louis +4 over DENVER
INDIANAPOLIS +3 over San Diego
San Francisco -1 over ARIZONA

Giving it the old college try, take 49: 2010 Gopher Football Preview

At first it didn't seem worthwhile to write a Gopher football preview.  After all, as your mother probably told you more than once, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.  There's really not much to say on the topic that hasn't been said a hundred times before, the jokes are too easy and the prospect of something unexpected happening so unlikely, that the whole thing barely touches 'Meh' status for most people.  For a read on my level of inspiration, look no further than the fact I couldn't even pull together a few thoughts together in time for the first game.  And in case you doubted it, let me assure you that the whole of Gopher Nation was clamoring for my take here, indifference just got the better of me. 

But when you think about it, no team better exemplifies the "can't do" spirit of Loserville better than Gopher football.  If you're looking for the perfect blend of haplessness and hopelessness, look no further.  I don't want to offend the two Gopher football diehards I know with this, because it takes guts to keep putting yourself out there for a team like this and I respect them for that, but I just can't wrap my head around the passion they have for this football team.  As has been debated before, maybe that makes me a bad fan, but we all have our limits on the amount of dissapointment we can take, and my personal quota has been filled for years.

Outside of a few rare moments, it's just not much fun being a Gopher football fan.  Hasn't been for years.  The high-water mark of the program in my lifetime occurred on October 10th, 2003, a date that will live in infamy.  The Gophers were 6-0, ranked #20 in the country and leading Michigan 28-7 entering the 4th quarter, only to give up 31 points and lose by a field goal.  I remember it vividly, standing in the Xcel Energy Center following a Wild game with my buddy Nick, who as a non-native Minnesotan did not carry the ingrained affection for the Gophers that I did.  We were standing in a crowd of probably 100 people around one of the arena's bars, all necks craned up at the TVs watching the debacle. 

At one point during Michigan's 4th quarter onslaught, Braylon Edwards made a great catch on a long TD to pull the Wolverines within 7, Nick let out a "Yes" and mini-fist pump.  It wasn't really out of celebration as much as appreciation of a great play, but 100 heads snapped around and I began to fear one more of those could get us torn limb from limb.  I told him to cool it.

Of course the rest is history, the Gophers lost and the program has never recovered, in fact these days it is probably as bad as it's ever been.  Say what you will about Glen Mason, he dropped easy games, never won at home, exhibited a surly attitude, etc.  But at least his teams could jump up and beat a top team on occasion, something the Tim Brewster Era has not had to offer.  At this point it's not even about expecting a good season, just a game or two in which they beat somebody they shouldn't, that would be enough.  (Watch for a harsh rebuke in the comments from one Mr. Derek Robertson following this paragraph) 

So let's try to wring some positivity out of the run up to the 2010 season, the 49th in the program's quest to return to a Rose Bowl.  Hmmm...well...we could go 2-0 with an easy non-conference start to things!  Oh sure the Gophers were underdogs to Middle Tennessee State at one point, but with their starting QB and best player out, confidence is high! (EDIT: 24-17 victory last night provides warm fuzzy for those who are in the business of selling hope)  After that it's a South Dakota squad we should throttle, then it's onto...oh...USC.  Crap.

Earlier this week, I heard someone on the radio say that Tim Brewster need to get at least 8 wins this season to stay employed as head coach.  It was all I coule do to keep from spraying coffee all over said radio.  An 8-4 record with a nasty schedule for a team that went 6-7 last year and lost it's best (only?) offensive weapon?  Hey, while we're at it, let's just say the Twins need to sweep the Yankees in order to prove Ron Gardenhire is a good manager, just winning the series won't do. 

I mean let's take a look at this thing:

Middle Tennesse State - Better be a win (EDIT: Was, so far so good) 1-0

South Dakota - Lose this game and the coach should resign the same day.  Not kidding, just step to the podium after the game and say "That's it for me folks, good luck" 2-0

USC - Well they had some transfers, right?  New coach and all that? No bowl game maybe make them lacking fire?  Yeah, I can't convince myself either, too much of a talent advantage. that's a loss. 2-1

Northern Illinois - Don't know a thing about them, so I'll say the Gophers will crush them, book it, 3-1

Northwestern - Ahh yes, that pesky conference portion of the schedule, things are always going so well when this thing comes along.  Northwestern is full of smart kids though, and as well all know, too many smart kids is a recipe for disaster on the football field, Gophers in a squeaker, 4-1

So if they start 4-1, why is 8 wins so nuts?  Watch this

Wisconsin - Bad news: Brew is 0-3 against them.  Good news: All the games have been close.  More bad news: They're ranked 12th in the preseason AP and look like they've got a better team than the last few years.  In case you were wondering, this is exactly the type of win that would take a ton of heat off, alas, 4-2

Purdue - Brewster OWNS the Boilermakers.  Might as well change it to the Brewstermakers, 5-2

Penn St - I'd like to maybe entertain the notion of winning, but no, 5-3

Ohio St - Next, 5-4

Michigan St - Beat them last year and usually play them tough, we'll give the guys the nod, 6-4

Illinois - Ditto, 7-4 (That's right, I just gave back-to-back Big Ten road wins to a guy who has 3 total in 3 years.  And people say I can't be optimistic.  Wait a minute, opTIMistic, if that doesn't describe the current coach to a tee, I don't know what does.)

Iowa - I wonder if the bathroom stalls at The Bank can accomodate sex as well as the ones in the Dome did?  Probably the most interesting point to ponder about this game, 7-5

So there it is, 7-5 is hugely optimistic and what I would certainly call a successful season, as would any Gopher fan I've talked to.  The fact a man who covers sports for a living in this town called for "at least" 8 wins is preposterous, and deserving of scorn.  You have to crawl before you walk, and right now we're just pulling ourselves into the sitting position.  Here's hoping we get a bit of crawling this year.