Over the line

Sometimes my mind wanders off to thinking about appropriate over/unders for certain random events.  This has been one of those times.

O/U Vikings 1st half points: 20 1/2
O/V Vikings 2nd half points: 2 1/2Seems about right.

O/U Ounces of beer the average Vikings fan is going to need to consume after they fulfill their destiny and lose 24-21 this Sunday: 74 1/2

Enjoy the statistical improbability of it all!

O/U Shots it takes before you can get excited about watching an NFC West game: 5 1/2

East Coast games start at 10 AM, might want to find a nice breakfast wine or something.


O/U Hours it will take the citizenry of Boston to drink the city dry of Jameson if the Red Sox complete their epic collapse tonight: 24 1/2

Not a big Red Sox guy, but can't root for the Rays (and their 200 fans) to make the playoffs.  It's bad enough looking at Yankee fans while watching games in New York, now we have to see them in Tampa too?
O/U Different songs played on the radio during an average day: 9 1/2

It's just Adele, U2, Nickelback and that lady who plays the piano and sounds pissed at whoever she's talking to.  Over.  And over.  And over.

O/U Minutes that Steve Bartman doc on ESPN dragged on too long: 37 1/2

With apologies to Cub fans, we need 2 hours on that story?  Guy reaches over rail, effs up play, shortstop then botches easy double play ball on the next batter, miraculous escapes judgement, the end.  I know there's more to it historically than all that, but the mysticism doesn't go that deep.  

They had me until the Unitarian minister showed up...

O/U How many roads the state of Minnesota/city of Minneapolis/other assorted government units are going to destroy in their quest to make it impossible to get anywhere: No line

Seven Corners now has 27 corners.  There are major freeways that just stop abruptly in the south metro.  Washington & Oak has become W________n & O_k.  Gotta be done, but shouldn't there be a law limiting how many projects can be left to rot over a single winter?  Because there's going to be a LOT.  Wasn't the stimulus money that prompted all this supposed to improve things, not create another pain in the ass?  For your next trick, how about taking a part of the city and removing all vehicle access to it?  Just create an island that only accepts foot traffic and we'll airdrop supplies.

Actually that might be kind of sweet.  If you could no longer drive to work, they'd either have to let you work from home or arrange helicopter transportation, right?  Seems logical.

Then again, with no regular police patrols, it would eventually turn lawless and be ruled by criminal gangs, as a number of films have shown us.  Count me out.

O/U Days after the upcoming NBA season (whenever that ends up being) that David Kahn will be relieved of his GM duties by the Timberwolves: 2 1/2

In the grand tradition of a last meal before an execution, he'll get to pick the Wednesday lunch spot.

O/U Retirement age if the stock market doesn't quit with the"Grapes of Wrath" routine: 74 1/2

Hopefully terminal disease will intervene before it comes to that, I say put off quitting smoking for awhile.

O/U Total yards for Denard Robinson vs. Minnesota this weekend: 500

Huge number, right?  Turns out not so much. Robinson put up 446 against Notre Dame a few weeks ago, 502 against the Irish last year and 494 against Indiana.  The Gopher defense is as bad as any that have ever taken the field.

I'm starting to think maybe this should be higher...

O/U Times I use the word 'penultimate' in Friday's WCHA preview: 12

Take the over...