The bitter end

It’s that time of year again, the time when most of my best friends become mortal enemies and spend much of their time disparaging the quality of my education. Yes folks, it’s North Dakota week.

 

Unfortunately, there’s a cloud hanging over things this time around, as it’s the last scheduled game these two teams will play for some time. While there’s always the chance of a clash in the Final Five later this year, or a national tournament game down the line, the next certain meeting of these teams has not been booked, and will be at least 3 years out under any scenario. This is a profound bummer, not only for us ND fans living in Minneapolis, but for fans of college hockey the world over.

 

Just over two years ago, I penned my personal ode to the rivalry in this space. Since then, plenty has happened to add fuel to the fire.

 

The Golden Gophers got their groove back, rising from the ashes of a mediocre three-year stretch to make last season’s Frozen Four, which of course feature both heartbreak (Final Five Semifinal) and triumph (West Regional Final) agianst their biggest rival in the span of a week. Now we’re headed into a series that’s reminiscent of the old days, with both teams highly ranked and harboring big aspirations for the future.

 

The only problem is, the future keeps hanging over the present.

 

I’m really hoping that when the puck drops on Friday, some kind of switch flips, and I get back the feeling I’ve had every other time these two teams met. An almost giddy anticipation, excitement mingled with nerves, used to take me up to these tilts, but now it’s just feeling like any other game. Don’t get me wrong, I want my team to win badly. The last thing that I need is to get trash-talked by another drunken 18-year old leaving Mariucci on Saturday, or get texted pictures of brooms for an hour after a Minnesota sweep. Points are points, and every point in this league is big, but knowing that it’s likely going to be 2017 before another head-to-head matchup just takes away that little something that used to make this more than a hockey game.

 

There may be one weekend left, but it already feels like things have moved on.

 

Some people may consider it a point of pride to win the last WCHA matchup between these two teams, but at the end of the day, the stakes of these games can’t hold a candle to a dozen of others they’ve played over the last decade. Closing out the Final Five on Saturday night would be something special, and obviously any postseason matchup with the season on the line is huge, but as for regular season conference games, they already feel hollow. The conference will soon cease to exist, and with that, all it’s great history will start the inevitable fade to black.  The defending champ of nothing is...nothing, frankly.

 

Because despite what people might try to tell you, when the puck drops next year, Minnesota and North Dakota will begin the process of ceasing to be rivals. It won’t happen overnight, and may be propped up by a chance meeting in a big game, but eventually they will just be two teams that, although close geographically, will be light years apart in perspective. Gopher fans will be more worried about the Michigan score that evening, NoDak fans circling the weekend when Denver comes to town. Time will pass, and new traditions will emerge to bury the old ones, perhaps even a few that can measure up to their predecessors.

 

My apologies if this is coming across like a bummer, but the truth is I’m bummed. Rather than a glorious final year in the sun, the demise of the WCHA is striking me as just that, one long drawn-out funeral. It’s impossible to think about what's currently happening without also thinking about the things that are about to be lost, because a lot of those things are why I loved the game of college hockey so much in the first place.

 

Now go back and read the old piece, my heart was in it then, and it truly does this whole thing justice.

Monday aftermath

The Germans call it schadenfreude, a malicious satisfaction obtained from the misfortunes of others.  That seems to be the general sentiment washing over the state of Minnesota today, following the unceremonious exit of the Green Bay Packers in their first playoff game of the season.

I don't blame Vikings fans for celebrating this, particularly those who have friends, family or co-workers constantly reminding them of the gulf separating the two franchises.  My buddy Lee, for instance, has extended family all over Wisconsin who never miss a chance to needle him on this subject.  People in those circumstances are allowed to be giddy.  Heck, they're allowed to have a t-shirt made commemorating the occasion if they feel like it.

Just realize, you're not turning the tables on anything.  The Super Bowl scoreboard still reads Packers 4, Vikings 0, and the 2011 win totals fall right in line with it.  I'm not here to defend Green Bay or their fans, but some of the gloating over their loss is borderline comical, and would only be appropriate if the Purple had delivered it themselves.

Imagine the tables were turned, the miraculous had happened, and the Vikings were the defending champs, entering the playoffs after a 15-1 season.  A Vikings fan being beside himself with grief over that loss would rank among the greediest acts of all time.  Because being the defending champs means you won one, and that's all we've been asking for how long now?  Maybe this Packers season was like football bulimia: They had a nice meal (season), excused themselves, then went in the bathroom and vomited all over everything.  But are the anorexic Vikings really better off?  Seems everyone is going to bed hungry.

Some guy on the radio said the Saints and Packers losing made today "the greatest day of my life".  Hyperbole, no doubt, but sad hyperbole, because it says something very disturbing about Vikings fans as a group.  (Sadder still if that man has children, but that's another conversation).  Personally, I'm reserving the title of greatest (sports) day of my life for the day when we finally break through.  I don't even see how watching someone else lose can move beyond a good day to achieve "great" status.  A bit of cold comfort to make the workplace/family gathering/corner bar a tad more hospitable, that's about it. 

Did I enjoy it?  Sure.  But let's not make it part of our sporting lore.

Who should be gloating?  Gopher hockey fans.  Despite a split last weekend in Grand Forks, the maroon-and-gold outplayed North Dakota, and looked a lot classier in the process. (Cue Gopher fans: When have they not looked classier?)  I've chafed plenty over the years at having to listen to people whine about "cheap" and "dirty" UND players who were guilty of nothing more than physical play.  The clucking hens are never worse than when Minnesota comes to town, and I've chalked most of it up to the frustration of losing.  But lately, they're starting to have a point.

I don't care how nasty a game gets, certain lines have been crossed repeatedly by North Dakota players, and it's getting old.  You can't line a guy up on a terrible check from behind out of frustration, and most importantly, YOU CAN'T HIT SOMEBODY IN THE HANDSHAKE LINE!!!  Congrats Ben Blood, you made Deadspin, for all the wrong reasons.  And yes, for fairness, the Gophers Mark Alt was also guilty of a bad CFB on Saturday, but two dumb plays don't make a right.

Now I don't know all the history between these players and I'm obviously not dealing with the emotions of the game, but this isn't the first time this stuff has gone on in the handshake line, and it's tiresome.  It doesn't matter what the extenuating circumstances are, you're never going to come off looking good by getting into a shoving match while shaking hands.  If you're that angry, just forgo the line and skate off.  Emotions run high, but the reputation of your team and school are also involved here, get a grip.

There was a lot to be positive about over a weekend that featured some great play, and the Ralph as loud as I've ever heard it in my life.  The UND players probably felt as passionate as the fans did about closing out their last WCHA home series with Minnesota in a big way.  But coming from a guy who will defend any legal play you make to anyone who opens their mouth to criticize it, I have to say, if you're not planning to shake hands, don't get in line in the first place.

And for any Sioux fan that wants to say this stuff is "no big deal" or "the guy had it coming", I can offer a practical reason you should dislike it.  This stuff draws penalties that hurt in big games.  Agree with the calls or not, they happen, and that needs to be weighed against the need to "send a message" or "set a tone" against any opponent.  Particularly the skilled ones that show up last in the season when the chips are down.

Anatomy of a rivalry

Red Sox-Yankees, Celtics-Lakers, Bruins-Canadiens, Packers-Bears, Michigan-Ohio State, Duke-North Carolina, France-England, Coke-Pepsi, Spy-Spy.  There's nothing like a great rivalry to spark a passion in fans that re-ignites each time the two sides renew hostilities.  Victory over an intense rival can sometimes make or break a season, taking the luster off a great one or putting the silver lining on one that was better forgotten. 

The meaning of these wins may ebb and flow from year to year, but there is always some meaning to be found.  Most develop due to proximity, some due to consistent matchups in big games and others due to downright dislike.  The best have all three of these elements blended together, and that's the kind that we're talking about when we talk about the Sioux and the Gophers.

Sure it isn't a famed matchup like the ones mentioned in the opening (we are talking college hockey after all), but for my money there's none better.  What's lacking in numbers is made up for in passion, as there is no team hated more in the state of Minnesota, save the Green Bay Packers, than the University of North Dakota hockey team.  There's nothing funnier than getting into an in-depth conversation about college hockey with a Gold Gopher fan, then dropping it on them that I root for the Sioux.  The face that follows is typically somewhere between smelling a fart and having one of their testicles twisted with a pliers.  Just a minute ago they were so happy to have found a likeminded follower of their favorite niche sport, and now this bit of unpleasantness.  Sometimes I wish I had a picture.

Oil and Water

Having lived the last decade in Grand Forks and Minneapolis, the twin ground zeros of this disagreement, has given me a unique perspective.  I'd like to think I'm able to look past the biases of both sides and evaluate things objectively.  Of course being a Sioux fan, my green glasses are always on, but at least the tint is a lighter shade that many.  All that being said, allow me to approximate what these opposing fanbases see when they look at each other:

Sioux fans - Loud, obnoxious, mullet-wearing, drunken, trailer park denizens.  Likely clothed in a leather jacket bearing the logo of a snowmobile or farm equipment manufacturer and blue jeans caked with dirt and/or some kind of animal feces.  The only thing more offensive than their smell is the verbal diarrhea spewing from their fetal alcohol-addled heads when engaging in a profanity-laced diatribe.  Which they do on a pretty much constant basis. 


To date, none of their players has ever committed a penalty, with anything short of removing a skate to administer a 'Colombian necktie' shrugged off as "good hard-nosed hockey".  The dirty hack players are constantly egged on by a fanbase that would be more at home watching Roman gladiators, since most of the time they seem to be of the opinion the game shouldn't end until somebody is dead.  It should also be noted that most of these goons in green are 27-year old Canuck neanderthals hailing from places like 'Moosenut' and 'Beaverlip River'.  By a convenient coincidence, covering their tracks after escaping the Canadian penitentiary system necessitated the same type of forged documents required to play NCAA hockey.  So here they are, ready to commit assault and battery on some unsuspecting kid a the better part of a decade younger. 


God forbid a call actually is made against a Sioux player, as it's sure to start their fans howling about a conspiracy in favor of the opposition.  The gigantic chip on their shoulder from a life spent in a second-rate state creates a relentless paranoia that is all-consuming.  Look no further than their infatuation with the Gopher hockey program, on any given night, they care more about the Gophers losing that their own team winning.  But I suppose that's what happens when you live in a god-forsaken wasteland and hockey is the only form of entertainment.

Should you encounter one of these mouthbreathers, the best you can hope for is to point out a tree as you're walking into the arena, and pray they will remain outside marveling at it until long after the game is finished.  Or perhaps roll a can of Natural Light into traffic.

Gopher fans - Elitist, sweater-around-the-neck, whining dandies who constantly cry like a 4-year old girl with a skinned knee.  Before they invented women's hockey, it was simply called Gopher hockey...and they still haven't adjusted very well to this checking thing.  Pride On Ice is the disgustingly self-congratulating slogan they've tagged to this team, but someone should tell these people that pride comes before the fall.  And when they face the Sioux, the falling comes early and often. 


If the smugness and arrogance of this fanbase were a tangible structure, it would be visible from space like the Great Wall of China.  The average Gopher hockey fan thinks that game was invented by John Mariucci in 1934 when God reached down from heaven and handed him the golden stick.  The idea that Canada had anything to do with it is really just a myth.  Which is why the only "real" hockey players come from inside the border of Minnesota, and all Canadian players are disdained for trying to steal some of the credit from St. John.  Opposing fans who aren't willing to grovel in inferiority and thank them for the gift they've bestowed need not apply.  Somehow they seem to be laboring under the misconception that there's a column in the standings marked "Wins with a roster entirely from one state".  Oddly enough, no one else can seem to locate it.  Probably because it's not f**king there.

Despite this claim as hockey's originators, they're also the only school that's succeeded in turning a college hockey venue into a soul-dead corporate atmosphere.  They'll try to make lame excuses about more entertainment options and better things to do, but you'd think in a city of millions, it shouldn't be all that hard to scrape together a lousy 10,000 folks to fill up a hockey arena.  Instead, by the time they've valet-parked their Priuses outside the arena and made the long walk in halfway through the first period, they're really too tuckered for pesky things like standing up and cheering.  That is if they bothered to show up at all, and if the cord on their oxygen tank will allow enough slack to stand in the first place.

The only that really does get these people fired up is when somebody lays a finger on one of their Golden Cupcakes.  Can't have the young lads facing any contact, lest one of them might be too distraught to shamelessly showboat and jersey pop after scoring the goal that pulls the team within three or four of the opposition.  By then again, I suppose you have to handle players like theirs with kid gloves, because one rough game for one of these prima donnas and the kid will probably be wearing an Islanders sweater next week.

That's the basic amalgamation of many comments I've heard over the years.  Very little of it is true in general, a whole lot of it is true in the case of a few specific individuals.  Like any teams out there, you will encounter good fans and idiots on either side.  I've been fortunate enough to know many quality fans of both teams...who occasionally happen to act like idiots.  But this happens very rarely.  I can neither confirm nor deny that I've had any idiotic episodes myself :)

But some of that is to be expected, because over the years there have been battles.  The stakes have been high with emotions to match.  As a Grade A sports hothead, I can say without a trace of irony, I'm not bringing nearly as much hate to the party as many others I've met.  Because some of these fans do truly dislike each other, I'm talking deep-seated feelings of animosity.  So let's try to take emotion out of it and look at things with an unbiased eye.

Just The Facts

• UND trails the all-time series 127-132-14 (.490) but is 69-54-8 (.561) all-time against the Gophers on home ice
• During the last 10 years (we'll call this the PV Era, since it's pretty much my period of involvement), the teams have met 37 times and the Sioux hold a 19-15-3 edge.
• In 24 meetings from the start of the '01-02 season through the end of the '06-07 campaign, the teams split 12-12, so the advantage to the Sioux is a recent development.  More on that later.
• Since a 6-1 loss on January 13th, 2006 (also know as the night I was the closest I've ever been to punching a Gopher fan) North Dakota is 11-4-3 against Minnesota.

Sure stuff happened between the two teams in the BP (Before Pat) Era, including an unbelievable Neal Broten goal to win the 1979 NCAA Championship.  But since I was a zygote for that one, it's pretty hard to offer much of an opinion on it.  Instead I will opine on what I know about the history between these two squads, which really begins on October 5, 2001, with the opening of the New Ralph.

Down Memory Lane

When I began watching college hockey in the late 90s, the Gophers were going through some lean times.  As the Sioux contended for titles, my concerns lay with Heatley's Badgers and the St. Cloud Husky teams of Hartigan-Arnason-DiCasmirro.  Those were the competition at the top of the standings those days, what did I care about the middle-of-the-pack Gophers?  I knew people hated them, but that was it; I usually saved my sports hate for the teams that beat mine, so I didn't spend much time worrying about Minnesota.

The night they came in and wrecked the opening of the Palace on the Prairie with a 7-5 come-from-behind win, that all changed.  Looking back, that was really a turning point game for the two programs.  The Sioux were coming off two stellar seasons, winning it all in 2000 and falling in the championship game in 2001.  The Gophers had just passed the 20-year mark on their last title and were starting the 3rd season of the Don Lucia Era.  You know the story from there, as the Gophers went on to win back-to-back titles, while the Sioux took the next couple of seasons to re-load.  Clicking this link will make any Gopher fan draw wood.

Many a groan went up in Grand Forks when a hometown kid netted the game winner for the Maroon-N-Gold during OT of that game, even more when they won it again a year later.  But following those two titles was what I like to think of as the Golden Age of this rivalry, and of course I mean that in the dynastic civilization sense, not in the sense of your uniform color.  Truth be told, that's really more of a yellow anyway.

From 2004-2007, the Sioux and Gophers met in two Final Five Championship games, a Frozen Four semifinal and a West Regional final.  The 2004 Final Five Championship, with the Sioux being led by Zach Parise and the Gophers by Thomas Vanek, and a host of other NHLers on the ice, is still the greatest hockey game I've ever seen (even though you sieved out horribly on that last goal Brandt, I'M STILL PISSED!!!).  Kind of amazing to say that, considering it was a loss and it usually wrecks my day to watch my team lose in anything.  Even the Gopher guys I know who usually gave me the most crap were buying me beers after that one, I think everybody was just happy to see it.

It helped a lot to get a measure of revenge the following year in the national semifinal, the first of several season-ending losses the Sioux have handed their biggest rival in the latter part of this decade.  Nowhere near the meaning for me personally, and frankly nowhere near the game, considering it was being played in front of a half-full building in Columbus, instead of a standing-room crowd in St. Paul.

2006 didn't bring any high-stakes postseason matchups, but it did add plenty of fuel to the fire.  For during an early December series, Danny Irmen unveiled, at least for the first time in my recollection, what will forever be etched into my as a Golden Gopher calling card: The Jersey Pop.  I remember it vividly, because we had seats on the glass at the Ralph both nights.  The first evening was a tightly contested 4-3 Gopher victory, and as we moved on to night number two, the fans amped up their intensity, as well as their harassment of Fargo native Irmen.  But it the end, it was him who got the last laugh, popping in a goal late in the second period to put his team up three and skating the length of the ice past the student section, continuously waving the 'M' on the front of his jersey.  Had I not been filled with rage due to the pending extension of my personal REA losing streak and squandering of great seats, I could have appreciated the comedy of a great 'Eff you' moment between a player and taunting fans.  As it was, I just found myself wishing there was a sniper in the rafters who could take out the showboating SOB.  I'm not proud of that, but there it is.

There was no showboating happening following the Gophers next game at the Ralph, which can be described in two words, and is guaranteed to bring a smile to the face of any NoDak fan: Holy Cross.  I've heard a lot of people over the years say that Sioux fans made too much of this upset, and that's probably true.  (After all, buying jerseys of some team just because they beat your rivals?  Couldn't you just wear a Sioux jersey?  I mean it's not like Holy Cross was the only ones who could get the job done here, let the St. Cloud fans go for that crap.)  But when you consider the stakes, the setting, and what I just described in the preceding paragraph, taking place 4 months earlier, there was a lot of built up animosity there.  I mean if the shoe was on the other foot, I'm pretty sure it would've some up more than once.  But in the name of domestic harmony, I observe the statute of limitations on that one, you just can't leave out that part if you're recounting the recent history of the rivalry.

Many less informed individuals labor under the misconception that the Holy Cross game was the beginning of the Gophers current rough patch, but that is not the case.  The 2007 squad took home the MacNaughton Cup as regular season WCHA champs, with the Sioux riding a season-ending hot streak to finish in 3rd.  A late January meeting between the two teams produced another on of the rivalry's classic moments, at least from the UND perspective, in the form of the Robbie Bina Goal.  Funny how these things only take a few syllables to spur instant recognition.  Man I miss Jeff Frazee, always loved watching that guy play, too bad I was home on the couch with the flu for that game.  Had a ticket and everything, still bugs me.

One interesting side note that many people don't know is that Sioux-Gopher games produced three ESPN Top 10 highlights during one calendar year.  To put this in perspective, realize that ESPN averages one college hockey highlight a year, period, and it's always the game-winning goal of the national championship game.  The first was the Bina Goal, January 2007, the second was two months later, and is still probably the biggest "you've-gotta-be-kidding-me!" moment I've ever had at a sporting event.  Of course I'm talking about the Blake Wheeler Goal.  Still bother me watching that.

Of course I was in the building for that one, chances are if something inexplicably bad is happening to one of my teams, I'm on the premises.  Funny thing though, I never saw it go in.  I was in a packed suite directly behind the Sioux goal, and when the puck came into the zone at a million miles an hour of a Gopher stick and was clearly (or so I thought) out of Wheeler's reach, I turned around and began to walk back to grab a beer.

And then the place exploded. (Facepalm)

But thankfully that was not a season-ending loss, so the next week my team moved onto the West Regional, which as luck would have it, featured the Gophers on the other side of the draw.  Both teams attempted to blow their semifinal games, but ultimately prevailed, setting up a rematch of the prior weekend's thriller, albeit once again in far less thrilling conditions.  I cannot tell you how sweet redemption was on this day, I must let it speak for itself.  Just know that I'm not a spry man, but I must've jumped three feet in the air when this happened.  That was season-ending loss #2 in the past three season dealt to the Gophers by the Sioux, and it also marked the high-water mark for Gopher hockey in the second half of this decade.

Over the last three seasons, things just haven't been quite the same in Dinkytown.  The Sioux have continued to deliver highlights, including the last of the three Top 10s I brought up earlier, but for whatever reason (and there are no shortage of opinions), Gopher hockey has fallen on hard times.

Now I'm not going to sit here and say it wrecks my day to see the Gophers struggle, because that wouldn't be true.  But I will say what started out as fun, watching a rival flounder, has given way a bit to missing the intensity and atmosphere of the best hockey games I've ever seen.  Plenty of Sioux fans would be fine if they never saw Minnesota contend for another league title or national championship, but after witnessing some of the things I've recounted here in person, I have to say there's a large part of me that wants the old Gophers back.  And no, I'm not talking about the title-winning Gophers, I'm talking about the "lose to the Sioux 4-3 in OT on the big stage" Gophers.  It's so much more fun beating your team when they're good :)

But as the saying goes, be careful what you wish for, and perhaps I'll be eating these words at some point.  Looking ahead to this weekend, I can't help but be filled with a twinge of concern; mostly because I'm a rampant pessimist, but also because I've seen so many odd things happen in this series when the roles were reversed.  The Sioux should roll, they are playing great and have the type of physical team that has given the Gophers fits.  But many times in the past few years, struggling North Dakota teams have come into this matchup looking overmatched, only to walk away with 3 or 4 points.  I'd like history to repeat itself in the sense of the Sioux rolling over the Gophers at the Ralph, not in the underdog pulling off a stunning weekend upset.  But that's why they play the games, we'll know all we need to by around 9:30 PM on Saturday.  For my part, I think the Gophers have done their best worked against the league's best teams, and the Sioux have tended to blitz opponents in game one, then throttle back a bit on Saturdays.  So I'll call a split: 5-2 Sioux Friday and 3-2 Gophers Saturday on the strength of a dynamite game from Patterson.

So there that is, 3,200 words of drivel that probably isn't news to most of you, but being that I'm a huge sports fan, and this is one of my all-time favorite things in the world of sports, I just kind of wanted to get it down on paper.  To every Gopher fan out there, here's hoping it's you, me and 19,000 other maniacs at the X on the 3rd Saturday in March.

It'd be like old times.