Presidential power

I caught a few minutes of the Presidential Debate last night, and the two sides are way further apart than I’d previously thought.  At this point, it’s seems very unlikely that Republicans and Democrats are going to reach a consensus by Election Day.  I’m sorry to say it folks, but it seems as if we’re on a collision course for yet another lockout.

Now I know what you’re thinking, it’s going to be disappointing to show up to your favorite school or church on November 3^rd and find the doors padlocked.  You’ve likely been anticipating the thrill of filling in that little bubble card as you hearkened back to the halcyon days of 5^th grade math tests, but that might have to wait.  At this point, all we can hope for is progress at the negotiating table and an agreement to be hammered out as soon as possible.  As we all know, if the stalemate drags into January, we run the risk of losing an entire election, a sobering thought for any hardcore politics fan out there.

As is usually the case when one of these situations arises, I have no interest in blaming one side over the other, just a wish to see things resolved.  Like the NHL and NFL before them, if they can’t come to a workable agreement on dividing the massive sums of money at their disposal, the only people who lose out are the fans.  The camaraderie of following election returns, celebrating victory or consoling defeat will likely be lost to us in the coming weeks, we can only hope that’s not the case forever.

In the meantime, we’re one-quarter through the NFL season, so why not do a power poll?  In my customary fashion, it's time to link each team to something it reminds me of in a particular category.  This week seemed like the perfect time to decide the historical US Presidential doppelgangers of NFL teams.  With the lockout looming, at least we can hearken back to happier (or unhappier, depending on your bent) times in electoral history.

 32. Cleveland Browns (Ralph Nader) – Although technically in the running every time out, there’s never a chance in hell they’ll actually win the thing!  Best they can hope to do is play spoiler to a Wild Card team (or Al Gore) before fading back into obscurity.

31. Indianapolis Colts (Grover Cleveland) – Both won it all once, and by all indications both will win it all a second time after a brief hiatus.  Grover took care of business, now it’s up to Andrew Luck to complete the analogy, he retires without a ring and the Colts are Jimmy Carter.

30. Jacksonville Jaguars (Pat Buchanan) – Came sorta close that one time, since then totally irrelevant and likely to remain so.

29. Oakland Raiders (Richard Nixon) – Dominant in the 70s, before going downhill in the legacy department and ending up widely disliked.

28. Kansas City Chiefs (Harry Truman) – Pulled off a huge upset, but unable to replicate the feat in later years.

27. Tennessee Titans (Ron Paul) – Gamely making attempts each year, but haven’t won anything and no one can ever remember where either is from.

26. New Orleans Saints (Barack Obama) – Incredible run of recent success now looking a tad rocky, remains to be seen if a rally can be made to overcome current struggles.

25. Miami Dolphins (Woodrow Wilson) – Went back-to-back, but that was a long, long time ago.

24. New York Jets (John  F. Kennedy) – Another big upset over long odds that's been raised to mythic status as the years have passed. 

23. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (William Henry Harrison) – Whether we’re talking about length of term, or time spent as a competent football team, blink and you missed it.

22. Carolina Panthers (John Kerry) – Looked overmatched on paper, but made a tighter contest of things than was expected.

21. Detroit Lions (Newt Gingrich) – So there was this blip, for a minute there, when it looked like maybe…oh never mind. 

20. Buffalo Bills (Adlai Stevenson) – Peaked in the wrong era.

19. Washington Redskins (Franklin Delano Roosevelt) – A lot of time may have passed, but man were they good.

18. St. Louis Rams (Lyndon Johnson) – Won in a landslide, but despite being favored, ultimately didn’t repeat.

17. Dallas Cowboys (Georges W. Bush) – You either love em, or you hate em.

16. Seattle Seahawks (Al Gore) – Stop whining about the refs already.

15. Minnesota Vikings (Hubert Humphrey) – So close, yet so far...

14. Pittsburgh Steelers (Abraham Lincoln) – Top of the heap, king of the castle, best there ever was.

13. Denver Broncos (John Adams) – Overcame bitter defeats against the greats of the game before finally breaking through.

12. Cincinnati Bengals (Samuel Tilden) – Not-so-great moments in last second comeback history.

11. San Diego Chargers (Walter Mondale) – Ran up against a juggernaut in the big game.

10. Chicago Bears (George H.W. Bush) – One great year in the 80s and been milking it ever since.

9. New York Giants (Bill Clinton) – Just when everyone was 100% convinced that something got blown, they managed to come out unscathed.

8. Philadelphia Eagles (Michelle Bachman) – Zealous (borderline psychotic) support of fans makes no sense when compared to actual track record of results.

7. Arizona Cardinals (Barry Goldwater) – Came from the desert, lost, went home.

6. Green Bay Packers (George Washington) – Won the first two, and we’ve all been hearing about it constantly ever since.

 5. New England Patriots (Thomas Jefferson) – Deserving of consideration among the all-time elite.

4. San Francisco 49ers (Ronald Reagan) – Dominated the 80s, fans think they re-invented the game, enjoying a recent resurgence.

3. Baltimore Ravens (Teddy Roosevelt) – Only one win, but extraordinarily strong on defense. 

2. Atlanta Falcons (Rick Perry) – Often discussed as possible threat, but needs to show an ability to close before taken seriously.

1. Houston Texans (Mitt Romney) – Remains to be seen if either can capitalize on recent strong performances.