Getting back to what's important

Man it's a great day to be alive, even if you're trapped in a snowbound metropolis with cosmic war being waged against your sports structures.  Not only is it Friday, but for the first time since Labor Day weekend, this guy will not have to see the inside of a library.  That my friends is a reason for celebration, and believe me I plan too.

It's tough to execute a good old fashioned bender these days the way I once did.  The body is a lot less resilient and the schedule more hectic, but that doesn't mean I can't make a concerted effort to booze for 48 hours starting at 5 PM today.  The anticipation of having no school work for the first time since Labor Day has me almost giddy.  Even the random things that normally irritate me, like the Brazil nut (big ugly bastard that no one wants to eat crowding out cashews from my can of mixed nuts) or media coverage of English royalty (we fought a war to get away from these people, why the **** do so many of you care who they marry?) are rolling off my mind like water off a ducks back. 

But even in this relaxed state, I can't quite let everything slide, and as usual, most of my qualms are sports related:

• I'm irritated that we're here in the first place, but credit to the Big Ten for realizing today that it's idea for division naming is about 4 degrees to the left of retarded.  Please let them act upon this revelation and ditch the Legends/Leaders alignment for just about anything else.  As has been said by many, simply going with A/B, 1/2, East/West would be preferable, and when things are that simple, you've really outdone yourself.  This is the equivalent of buying a dog and naming it 'Hitler'.  'Dog' may be an unimaginative name, but it is highly preferable in this circumstance.  So bravo commish, I'll give you some points for taking action even if you were helped along by, in your words, a "90 percent disapproval rating" from your fans.  Hope the marketing firm that help develop those names didn't charge too steeply, might want to think about a focus group or two next time around.

• The outdoor Vikings game idea, which started out as a novelty, is quickly descending into the realm of gong show.  Now it's going to be 64,000 tickets for 50,000 general admission seats, with the potential for people to wait in line for hours and not get in, there isn't a better way to handle this?  Field isn't heated, concessions might not work, water pipes could blow, it goes on and on.  As much as I liked the idea in the beginning, it's all becoming more trouble than it's worth.  Would be one thing if the team was actually competitive and the home field advatage mattered, but they're not and it doesn't, so why go through all this?  Two reasons that spring to mind are money and eliminating the idea of sharing a football stadium with the Gophers permanently.  The latter situation would give the team incentive to actually make conditions worse, because the more problems, the more ammo they have.  But that's the cynical view. (Note: I reserve the right to change my opinion at the drop of a hat if there's a snowstorm on Monday night and it looks really cool)

• The Wild absolutely suck out loud right now.  The best player on the team is (gulp) Halfthat, and the rest of them look like a colective glob of monkey ****.  Capped out and going to finish in last place, good thing they gouged the sporting public for some much ticket money on their climb to the middle, because that well is going dry in a big hurry.  Every year the team gets worse and the tickets get steeper, it's quite a racket if the fans keep letting you off the hook, I look forward to the day I'm paying T-Wolves prices to sit center ice, judging by things, it ain't far off.

NFL Picks

Kudos to my brother Ben for keeping the picks train rolling last week (although you'll soon see why I kind of wish he hadn't, never make picks on Sunday from a car):

Week 13: 9-7
Last week: 5-10-1 (Hurts to type that)
Overall: 91-84-2

Ben
Week 13: 11-5 (On fire!)
Last week: 6-9-1 (Fire extinguished)
Overall: 54-46-2

Brent
Week 13: 9-7
Last week: 8-8 (Pretty respectable, all things considered)
Overall: 56-46-1


Kansas City +1 over ST LOUIS
Houston +1.5 over TENNESSEE
INDIANAPOLIS -5 over Jacksonville
Arizona +2.5 over CAROLINA
Cleveland +1 over CINCINATTI
Buffalo +5.5 over MIAMI
NY GIANTS -2.5 over Philadelphia
DALLAS -7 over Washington
TAMPA BAY -5.5 over Detroit
New Orleans +1.5 over BALTIMORE
Atlant -6 over SEATTLE
NY Jets +6 over PITTSBURGH
OAKLAND +7 over Denver
NEW ENGLAND -13 over Green Bay
Chicago -6.5 over MINNESOTA

Call it the week of the road underdog.